Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 What does it mean if you're in a good committed relationship but you're partner has NEVER said I love you.....nor will confirm their feelings after 8 months? I'm feeling a bit conflicted about how or if I should continue.
clia Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I personally think no "I love you" after eight months is a huge red flag. What do you mean they won't confirm their feelings? I think we need more information about your relationship to help you. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I'd think you're a fool for being in it...and ponder what exactly a "good relationship" is to you...guess it's worth the "commitment" to some. 1
Author Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Thank you Clia. I've flat out asked him....he just won't say it....but he treats me like he does. He said that if "I love you" was a deal breaker....then so be it.
clia Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Thank you Clia. I've flat out asked him....he just won't say it....but he treats me like he does. He said that if "I love you" was a deal breaker....then so be it. It would be a dealbreaker for me. His refusal to say it points to bigger issues. 3
Author Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I think you're right. Just needed to hear it from an outside source. Thank you again.
soccerrprp Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Thank you Clia. I've flat out asked him....he just won't say it....but he treats me like he does. He said that if "I love you" was a deal breaker....then so be it. There are a few who will argue that his actions are enough. But, I have always said....not quite. His actions AND words are enough. His flippant response is clearly a red flag. 1
jba10582 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 In my brain I argue that the interconnectness you both feel is enough. But I'll never win the argument. 1
Author Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 His actions ARE enough to make me feel loved...but I'm a girl...and I want to hear it! He tells his kids...his parents...his sisters...so it's in his vocabulary.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Him not saying it is a problem. Him telling you that if him not saying it is a deal breaker for you then "so be it" SCREAMS that he doesn't really care. If you need the words, you may be SOL. If you are willing to accept his actions then hush up about the lack of words. 2
Author Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 If I can't get an "I love you" after 8 months...........I suppose I'll never get a "will you marry me". I'll be moving on. Thanks for your comments.
Author Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 I didn't "break up" with my boyfriend....but I did ask for some time "no contact" to sort things out so I would know, responsibly and maturely, how to proceed. He begrudgingly has respected this separation...with only 2 texts since yesterday morning. I didn't respond. Am I suppose to literally feel sick?...because I do.
reddragon588 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Just read your thread.. If he won't say I love you and you've told him that you love him it's within your rights to do what you are doing. Let him figure it out. Time away from him may make him realize what he is missing and he will come back and be honest about his feelings. It will be tough for you in the interim however, there's no question about that. 1
me85 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 I think it is only natural to feel literally sick about not speaking to the person you are used to speaking to on a daily basis. I know I do. Me and my ex were nearly inseperable & for the past 2 & 1/2 months its just hasn't been that way. We are officially over. Our relationship slowly dwindled down to nothing and it really has taken a toll on my health. Hang in there. 3
Author Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Just read your thread.. If he won't say I love you and you've told him that you love him it's within your rights to do what you are doing. Let him figure it out. Time away from him may make him realize what he is missing and he will come back and be honest about his feelings. It will be tough for you in the interim however, there's no question about that. Thank you. I agree....I hope it works out. But it does suck. 1
reddragon588 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Thank you. I agree....I hope it works out. But it does suck. Yes, sadly life isn't always puppies and rainbows. But the darkest hour always comes before the dawn. 2
Author Narcissistic Nobody Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 Quick update. Apparently the "no contact" thing works. Last night, I got a long awaited outpouring of feelings and the I love you I've been needing to hear. It was a big step forward in our relationship. Thank you again for the comments. 1
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