Todd.Rose Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Sorry if i'm putting this in the wrong forum, i'm not really sure, but its more to do with our relationship than bipolar so I hope this is right. We've went to school together since we we're 5 and we've dated since we were 16, we're 23 now and live together - I love her, we're great! (So great in fact that I've bought a ring she doesn't know about yet ) She's always had her moodiness and she's a bit reckless - but I think I'm pretty good at cheering her up and calming her down. And I'm sure she'd say I was maybe a little cocky and over-competitive but that she's pretty awesome at dealing with that...we just work together, always have. She's been in therapy (on and off cause she doesn't like it) for a while because she had a really rough childhood, ending up in care at 14 but only now when she was at the doctors cause she's had trouble sleeping, have they suddenly recommended she get tested and come back with this diagnosis. Its not the diagnosis that bothers me in anyway whatsoever, it doesn't change who she is, its just a word, she's still the exact same Riley I woke up next to yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. What's really playing on my mind is the meds...I've had friends put on meds for ADHD, which I know isn't that same thing but I've seen what that does, I've seen the glassed over eyes, I've seen a class clown become a zombie - and that scares me! Its killing me because I want what's best for her and I know that's medication, I know it, but I don't want to lose my girlfriend! She's gorgeous, totally gorgeous, we've been together 6 years now and she still takes my breath away with her beauty. We can be driving in my car and I swear its all I can do to keep my eyes on the road because she is so beautiful. But what had made me fall hook, line and sinker for her was her personality. I love that little mischievous twinkle in her eye, I love her feistiness, her sense of adventure, her super creativity, I love that she's not like all the other girls - sometimes I have to reign her in but she's a firecracker and I love it!!! :love: Truth is everyone else is boring in comparison to her. Its disgustingly selfish of me, and I feel horrible for saying it but I don't want her to lose all that, and I have no idea how much she'll retain! I just don't know what to say to her? I'm trying to support her through all this, so obviously I'm not telling her any of the above, I'm telling her it will all be fine........but what If its not.. I don't know if I can take watching her turn into a zombie, I'd give my life for this girl in a heartbeat but to have to stand next to her and watch the light go out in her eyes, I don't even know how to start with that. And what scares me half to death, what won't leave my head is, what if I cant?? Her health has to come first, no two ways about that but what if me and her aren't the same any more. I just I'm struggling with what to say to her, I don't want to fill her head with my worries about myself when she needs my support but I know she knows me better than to not know when something's up.
TheGuard13 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Why are you assuming she would turn into a zombie? 1
soccerrprp Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Todd.Rose, IF meds are necessary, then you need to help your gf gauge the meds. There are a few options for numerous ailments, so if one doesn't work, ask the doc to try another or lower doses. I'm sorry, but what diagnosis? Did I miss it? Anyway, there may be a few options for her to get the medical help she needs AND still have the gf you've always known.
Author Todd.Rose Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Why are you assuming she would turn into a zombie? I dunno, im not I guess, its just what I've seen. A lad I used to play hockey with, he would just go from the liveliest guy in the room to just, flat, when he took his meds. I guess that never left me.
Author Todd.Rose Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Todd.Rose, IF meds are necessary, then you need to help your gf gauge the meds. There are a few options for numerous ailments, so if one doesn't work, ask the doc to try another or lower doses. I'm sorry, but what diagnosis? Did I miss it? Anyway, there may be a few options for her to get the medical help she needs AND still have the gf you've always known. Sorry bipolar, sorry, write all that and I leave that out, what an idiot! Yeah that's what I hope!!
Shepp Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 If you've dealt with maintaining a stable relationship with her since you were 16, despite her bipolar, then you guys can deal with this. People banded around bipolar in relation to my girlfriend once so I know being with someone who's even mildly up and down has its moments! I just think you need to take it one day at a time. You love her so just make sure she gets what's best - what helps her but doesn't compromise her personality and lifestyle too much. For what its worth I think ADHD meds are quite different because there to like calm people down where as bipolar and depression meds are more to take the edge of so you don't go too far either way - from what I understand - im no doctor!
soccerrprp Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Yeah, I was going to add that you two have been handling it for this long, so you two should be able to handle it. I'm just curious as to why the diagnosis now? Something trigger this? Can't be just lack of sleep. All of a sudden, BPD and meds? What about psychotherapy first and then see if meds are necessary? Just thinking out loud...
Phantom888 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Everyone reacts to meds differently. If she starts acting like a zombie, she is on the WRONG medication and the doctor will make adjustments. The purpose of the meds is to benefit the individual, not change her. You are feeling anxious over something that is likely not going to happen.
Author Todd.Rose Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I'm just curious as to why the diagnosis now? Something trigger this? Can't be just lack of sleep. All of a sudden, BPD and meds? What about psychotherapy first and then see if meds are necessary? Just thinking out loud... It does feel sudden, really sudden. I guess maybe I just didn't see it, cause I've known her so long and that's just how she is. She's always gone on and off to therapy cause her childhood was hard and I guess I thought that was the reason for her ups and downs. She literally just went cause she couldn't sleep, she didn't feel tired but said it was annoying, saw a new doctor and supposedly he says now that he has personal experience of BPD and just though she spoke to fast, jumped subjects too much combined with things she was saying and he had a hunch. I told her that he was probably just trying to do everything right cause he's new and it would come to nothing! ...tells you how much I know! I dunno, I dunno, cause she's already been in therapy.
Author Todd.Rose Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 If you've dealt with maintaining a stable relationship with her since you were 16, despite her bipolar, then you guys can deal with this. People banded around bipolar in relation to my girlfriend once so I know being with someone who's even mildly up and down has its moments! Yeah, I guess, its not like dealing with anything because to me she's just Riley, just the same Riley she's always been! The same 5 year old I sat next to on my first day of school. For what its worth I think ADHD meds are quite different because there to like calm people down where as bipolar and depression meds are more to take the edge of so you don't go too far either way - from what I understand - im no doctor! Everyone reacts to meds differently. If she starts acting like a zombie, she is on the WRONG medication and the doctor will make adjustments. The purpose of the meds is to benefit the individual, not change her. You are feeling anxious over something that is likely not going to happen. That does make me feel better!
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