paperboy48 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I have been dating this really great girl for the last 6-7 weeks. We have in the last few weeks, become exclusive. I am having dinner next week with 3 girls who I used to work with. The four of us have been going out to dinner (a few times per year) for last 4 years. Two of these ladies are 10 years younger then me. One is 20 years older then me. When I was married - my wife never had an issue with this. I am just concerened due to how new the relationship I am in, windering if it will upset her that I am going to dinner with thre ladies (former co-workers). What do you think?
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 As long as they're fat, ugly and you never had sex with any of them....shouldn't be a problem.
clia Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 If she's the jealous type, it might upset her. Just be up front about it.
TheGuard13 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Easy fix. Take your girlfriend with you and introduce her. Problem solved. 2
pteromom Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I don't think it is a big deal as long as you don't lie about it. After all, it is in a public place in a group setting. If you were hanging out with one of them one-on-one at her house, then I could see a little jealousy. If you are comfortable with them meeting your GF, take her along. If not, just do a courtesy check-in when you leave your dinner.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I'm a firm believer that "pre-existing friends" like these co-workers are part of the package. I'd mention to your new GF that you are having dinner with some former female co-workers to catch up & talk shop. Answer any Qs she may have about them. Perhaps drop her a flirty text during the meal (excuse yourself to the restroom or step outside to do this). Other than that, don't make a big deal out of it. Don't act all fidgety or suspicious. It should be a non-event in your new GF's world. 2
Fondue Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Maybe I'm just being ignorant or am incredibly dumb, but I have to ask: why does she even have to know you're going out to dinner with your friends? Is it imperative that you share your day-to-day activities with each other? I am by no means a relationship expert (read my threads), but at 6weeks, I would assume you guys definitely live separate lives...
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Fondue -- I don't think the OP is required to tell his GF about his dinner plans. However, if he does tell her up front it should take all the drama out of it because she won't be able to claim that he was sneaking around behind her back. I would always tell a new BF when I had other plans. I'm having dinner with my best GFs & I'm having drinks with a bunch of former male co-workers are the same to me because I was never interested in dating anyone from either group & certain characteristics of both groups mean that they wouldn't be ideal groups for my new man to join. He doesn't need to be there for girl talk or shop talk.
Fondue Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Fondue -- I don't think the OP is required to tell his GF about his dinner plans. However, if he does tell her up front it should take all the drama out of it because she won't be able to claim that he was sneaking around behind her back. I would always tell a new BF when I had other plans. I'm having dinner with my best GFs & I'm having drinks with a bunch of former male co-workers are the same to me because I was never interested in dating anyone from either group & certain characteristics of both groups mean that they wouldn't be ideal groups for my new man to join. He doesn't need to be there for girl talk or shop talk. If he doesn't tell her about his plans, she wouldn't know about it regardless. I am not sure how he would go about avoiding telling her at first, then having her bring it up later? It seems like a very improbable situation. Besides, he is going out with three women to one dinner. It seems highly unlikely that this dinner is intended for more than anything than a friendly meetup. I still think he doesn't have to tell her everything.
Author paperboy48 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 We are at the point of discussing our day-to-day lives. We have both been alone for a while now and have both met a bunch of people in which we have not liked, until now. We both want a relationship and both like/care for each other a great deal. I apprecaite your advice fondue but, she does have a right to know.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 paperboy I am glad that you will be telling her b/c doing so shows you are on the high road with nothing to hide. Nevertheless, I don't think she has a "right" to know. You are not doing anything wrong by not telling her. It's better if you do tell her but there is no requirement that you do so. That you want to tell her is a good thing.
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