sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Hi all Im just wondering if anyone has done a super long commute? I have one last chance to save my relationship (its last ditch) and it is to commute so we can live together the commute would mean leaving home at 5.30 am and id get home about 7.15pm i could catch up on sleep on the train has anyone ever done something like this? how hard was it? how did it affect the relationship?
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 That's pretty much my DH's commute only he leaves at 6 & gets home at 7:30 If you are doing this to save your relationship is there a mid point location between your 2 jobs?
MidwestUSA Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Well, I can't speak from experience, but I do know people who are away from their homes that long every day, even without a long commute. More importantly, if this is a last ditch effort, I'd recommend not making any changes permanently, in the event it doesn't work out. Good luck. 1
Author sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 That's pretty much my DH's commute only he leaves at 6 & gets home at 7:30 If you are doing this to save your relationship is there a mid point location between your 2 jobs? The problem with mid point is the way rail costings work the rail network is cheaper than road, road is just un affordable. (travel costs combined would be $1500 dollars a month by road even before you consider wear and tear) Because in the UK train costs are near enough the same independent of distance (a 100 mile journey costs similar to a 200 mile journey) Moving mid point would double our travel costs, and we wouldnt be able to afford anywhere Weve looked at all this MANY times over the years and the only option to keep our jobs is one of us doing a massive commute
RonaldS Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Before we got married, my XW and I ended up living about 4 hours apart for 8 months. I moved to a better area for work/life, she said she would move when she was done with school. In the interim, I pretty much drove back there every weekend to see her. It wasn't fun. It worked out ok though....to the extent that you can say a relationship that ended in divorce worked out.
LuvsTrucks2 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I commute a total of six hours out of every work day. When I first thought of doing it, I didn't think it would be possible, but over a year and a half later, it's easier than I thought. If I had another option, sure I would do that, but currently there isn't any other option. When I started this commute, I was married, currently separated, the commute didn't have anything to do with our separation, but the lack of time I had at home did allow him to fill his time with someone else two years prior. I could see the commute presenting some issues if you aren't in a committed relationship.
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Sun -- If you two could work out the job / commute things would you be back together? If so, how hard have both of you looked for new jobs? I'm having a hard time believing that if that is the only obstacle to happily ever after the two of you haven't been able to find a solution -- or new jobs for either of you -- in 5+ years.
Author sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Sun -- If you two could work out the job / commute things would you be back together? If so, how hard have both of you looked for new jobs? I'm having a hard time believing that if that is the only obstacle to happily ever after the two of you haven't been able to find a solution -- or new jobs for either of you -- in 5+ years. Hi Yes we would be together The jobs, both of us are in the jobs we had since we left school/uni (jobs over twenty years) she briefly left the job ten years ago, for her ex, but it didnt work out..and she got her job back by the skin of her teeth..she has made it clear from the start she couldnt do that again i spent some time looking, but it isnt easy to get a good job lately, and i was nervous about leaving anyway, i went to half a dozen interviews, got to second interview on one and didnt get it The commute only works if one of us commutes 2.5-3 hours each way, we decided that it was too much at the time - we felt we would actually have no more 'real time' together than our current situation as id be tired all week, plus financially $600 dollars of my salary every month hurts I think its been my fault, i should have commuted years ago, now...faced with losing her for good..i think i will
Author sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Well we spoke tonight im more confused than ever in a nutshell she said that she would try again with the commute option, but said that at the end of the day i ended it and shes hurt which is understandable i stupidly asked if she is ok and she said 'Monday was my only bad day really, ive been ok since.....saying that we have been talking more since then so I haven't had a chance to miss u as such' not sure how to take that??? should i be less eager??
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