sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Hi all Ive probably over posted today, apologies. In a nutshell, its a very recent breakup, we havent initiated NC yet I ended it as i knew she was unhappy at being in an LDR 5 years down the line.. she craves marriage etc and a family, which wasnt going to happen with us. So i tried to do the right thing and not be selfish But, while the logical part of me WANTS her to find someone fab, be happy, married etc. Another part of me (and it was just triggered again a few minutes ago by another thread) is getting obsessed about the idea of her in someone elses bed, having sex. I find myself upset, and wanting to punch the wall etc. I doubt she will be rebounding, she is struggling too, and may have the same thoughts about me. But how do i put it out of my mind? Is it normal? and if so how long did it last for you? Thanks 1
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 When you find yourself thinking about it, stop acknowledge the thought, then put it out of your mind & get on with your day. You have to do this a few times a day in the begining. 2
madjac74 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Why do you doubt she is rebounding? Because you hope she isn't? That isn't a healthy way to live 2
Author sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Why do you doubt she is rebounding? Because you hope she isn't? That isn't a healthy way to live I know she isnt rebounding because 1) we havent started NC yet and are talking all night (i know this has to stop!) 2) she has said she is struggling, and hasnt told anyone about the split yet..only her workmates know, and thats because she broke down at work..she did change her fb status, but hid it from newsfeed 3) She has said she still wants to be with me, if i am willing to leave my job doesnt sound like someone who has moved on?
d0nnivain Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I 3) She has said she still wants to be with me, if i am willing to leave my job Are you considering this? What exactly are you supposed to do for work if you quit? You need an income more than you need a relationship. 2
Author sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Are you considering this? What exactly are you supposed to do for work if you quit? You need an income more than you need a relationship. Our jobs have been the issue for years, she wont leave hers (only job she has had since leaving school ) And although ive talked about it, ive not been willing to leave mine (only job since i left university.) Im not exagerrating when i say we have not had a cross word when together (total of 1100 days actually together). If i could turn the clock back say..12 months id look for another job now i think. But i know she is so unhappy at being in an ldr that she wouldnt wait another 6 months, and i couldnt blame her. After all, its been 5 years!!! Ive considered just walking out, because although i ended it im more distraught than i expected to be... but no i wouldnt do it.
Vinsanity1307 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Yes it is normal. It has been 4 months since the BU and I have been thinking it ever since week 1. It is a horrid feeling. Only slight relief at all is exercise.
2fargone Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 It doesn't bother me. Sex is just sex. We broke up, she can do whatever she wants. We both had sex with others before we met, why should it bother me now ?
Author sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 It doesn't bother me. Sex is just sex. We broke up, she can do whatever she wants. We both had sex with others before we met, why should it bother me now ? i wish i was like you however to be honest, with distance the only issue im looking at the option of commuting from where she works- to save things only problem is, it means leaving home at 5.30 am and getting home at 7.15 pm so we would have limited time together. and the cost is £420 per month by rail, £500 by road (thats about $620 dollars by rail, $750/month dollars by road)
ponchsox Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I actually feel sorry for whoever is sleeping with her, because they don't know the amount BS they're going to have to put up with. 1
Author sun1972 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I actually feel sorry for whoever is sleeping with her, because they don't know the amount BS they're going to have to put up with. lol thanks for posting that! thats the first time ive chuckled / smiled in 3 days
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