Jump to content

What I've learnt from my successful and failed romantic liasions

Nikki Sahagin

By Nikki Sahagin
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

Posted
Posted (edited)

1. There is a reason men and women seem to attract so much more attention when they are in a relationship. It is because they resonate happiness, ease, bliss and self-esteem. If you can be like this whether you are single or attached, you will always draw numerous admirers.

 

2. No amount of contact or no contact can make someone like or love you. There is literally NO way to manipulate someone elses feelings for you. NONE.

 

3. If someone is into you, absence makes the heart grow fonder. If someone is not into you, out of sight, out of mind.

 

4. You will KNOW if someone wants you. If it feels like a struggle/hard work or if you are having to analyse there words and actions, they are NOT interested. I am sure most of us know what it feels like when there is mutual chemistry and attraction. It is quite simple not work at all.

 

5. The people with the most admirers/options are not necessarily the most attractive or successful...they are simply the happiest and often the funnest to be around.

 

6. People who don't seem to 'need' a relationship, attract more relationships.

 

7. If you are both mutually into each other, things like texting too much or sleeping together too soon simply aren't problems. They are only problems when one person does not like the other or is pretending to like the other person. Basically, if a person really likes you, there is VERY little you can do wrong unless you are coming from a place of low self-esteem.

 

8. Comparing yourself to others means you do not see the value in yourself. If you can't see that, no-one else will.

 

9. Make the most of your physical appearance but also work on your personality, hobbies, goals, friendships, social life. Without these things, it is hard to connect with other people, including a new partner.

 

10. Always be working on your confidence and self-esteem. Without either, relationships are doomed to be complicated by your own lack of worth.

 

11. Never beat yourself up for a mistake or a failure. Never let a relationship failure cause you to lose esteem or confidence. Simply work on yourself and acknowledge your own contributions to the breakdown.

 

12. People who generalise about the opposite sex i.e. 'all women want is money', 'all men cheat' are blocking themselves from connecting with a unique individual. You have to abandon generalisations and acknowledge people as people if you wish to meet a partner.

 

13. Don't let your past junk poison your partner. If you have trust issues, by all means share them with your partner, but don't blame your partner for your insecurities from your past. They are not responsible for that.

 

14. Your partner should never complete you. If you feel empty alone, your partner will feel responsible for keeping you happy and may grow to resent you. Your relationships should improve your life, but shouldn't MAKE your life.

 

15. Never give up hobbies, friendships, dreams or opportunities for a relationship. You CAN have a relationship and the rest.

 

16. Always communicate. Someone that cares for you can handle what you have to say.

 

17. A strong attraction should exist from the start OR alternatively, grow with time. Always work on this and keep it going.

 

18. Don't let your relationship stagnate. Suggest new/fun things to do.

 

19. Develop a friendship with your partner.

 

20. Believe you deserve your partner. Don't push them away because of self-sabotague.

 

21. Trust until you are given a reason not to.

 

22. Never feel you own your partner. They do not belong to you.

 

23. Allow your partner to be there own person.

 

24. If you have differences in some difficult areas such as values etc, be honest and open so that together you can establish boundaries.

 

25. Understand every relationship will have it's hard times. You will know deep down when it is worth working on and when you need to walk away.

 

26. Never hang onto a relationship for comfort/habit/fear if you are being abused/disrespected or are unhappy.

 

27. Always be working on your own happiness. You cannot make someone else happy if you aren't happy yourself and you cannot give love if you are expecting someone to validate you.

 

28. Loving someone is always bravery.

 

29. Every relationship, whether a success or a failure has something to teach you and helps you to grow. No relationship should be looked at as a waste of time and you should never punish yourself for making a mistake. Accept your choices and understand the reasons why you made them.

 

30. Above all, do not be afraid to fall in love again. Chances are, you won't be able to stop yourself, that's why it's called falling.

 

31. Work through bitterness, resentment and anger or you will project them onto your new partner.

 

32. Sometimes you will be into someone who doesn't want you. Sometimes someone will be into you and you won't want them. Don't resent peoples rejection as you also have the right to reject. Accept and acknowledge peoples decision to NOT want you just as you accept your own desire to NOT want someone else.

 

33. Sometimes you will get your heart broken. Sometimes someone will break your heart. Still, not much can make you feel alive as love can.

 

34. All attempting to control a person will do is cause them to run away or attract someone who does not love you, but fears you.

 

35. Sometimes people change and have to part. Don't resent another persons growth.

 

36. It is true, sometimes you have to let go what you love.

 

37. You will love more than 1 person in your lifetime. You won't end up with everyone that you love.

 

38. Embrace what is unique about you. Always better yourself.

 

39. People don't like to be told what is beautiful. They like to find that our for themselves. Boasting about how attractive/rich you are or how many people you've slept with is NOT attractive.

Edited by Nikki Sahagin
  • Like 2
madjac74 Established Member

madjac74

Posted
Posted

6. People who don't seem to 'need' a relationship, attract more relationships.

 

 

This one is so true! I met my current girlfriend after I had come to the conclusion that I was ok being single and I wanted to focus on my life, hobbies, aspirations and my kids. She hit on me :p

 

Also I noticed when I had just got married many years ago, women were hitting on me left and right.

  • Author
Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

Posted
  • Author
Posted
go on..........

 

You want more?

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...