How do you know, when to go or when your better off without someone?!

[hidemyid]

Im gonna be honest here, but try to summarize cause I don't think posts with a 1000 word story get many replys these days. Ill format as follows, a little background, what troubles me, and how I feel.

 

So a little background. Basically, had my heart beat up pretty badly. I was emotionally damaged for a few years, and I was also single for those few years. Eventually a girl who I found attractive came along. Really I felt lonely, sexually deprived, and depressed / anxious until she came along. it really boosted my confidence, my ego, everything for a while though, and I even felt like the little things that currently drive me insane were tolerable back then.

 

Now what bothers me in the relationship is..

-Her negativety

-Her parents

-Constant excuses

-Her hold on me

-Being held back

-and most of all lately, I look at my future being that im now getting my life together, and... I don't think I could stand living with her, or being married to her, the whole thick and thin 100 miles, dosent seem possible with her.

 

I FEEL like

1) Her negativity literally, has the power to ruin my whole day, and if I ignore her, I get it worse. I get guilted, or bombed, or I have to deal with high emotions later. So its either, I deal with it and im really annoyed all the time, or I ignore it and I get it worse.

 

2) Parents - shes a grown women and her mom controls her life, and it actually really adjitates me. Its not that she babys her. its more like, she calls non stop, dosent like when she leaves the house, shes always worried whenever shes not there, its like she skipped a stage in her daughters maturity, and now... I see all these co dependant flaws all the time, and its unattractive, shes got her mom making all her decisions. I find independence sexy, and co dependence, is kind of a huge turn off.

 

3) EXCUSES - I cant say this one enough. It kinda ties into number 3, she was looked after so much that she dosent wanna do nothing her self. She makes excuses for going to school, work, the gym, not wanting to come out with my friends, she never wants to meet the people I love and im sick of it.

 

4) Her hold on me / Holding me back

Okay, so naturally... theres things you change in a relationship right? but the hold she has on me, is gross honestly. She GOES AT ME, everytime, a girl likes my pictures, or statuses, she ruins every night I ever have out with my boys, literally, by blowing up my phone because shes worried, and when I don't answer, I did something wrong. Like, I was willing to sacrifice so much for her, and now I cant stand her.

 

5) AND MY FUTURE. It looks bright as ****, and im happy about it. I just don't want her in it. I cant imagine, in the future. I imagine living with her right, and at her house now, she "cant clean" because she has "severe" dust allergies. She panics, everytime her throat is irritated and often goes to ER, thinking her throats gonna close (they know her now, and don't take her seriously honestly). She panics a lot, she gets really anxious. She can never sleep, she monitors everything it seems like. She portrays the same personality as her mom, but in a lesser nature. And I cant stand her mom, she cant even stand her mom most of the time.

 

NOW THE REAL THING!!! (sorry that was so long)

I don't know HOW to leave her. Seriously. Ive tried a lot of times.

When I committed to leaving her, I had a fear of regret but I stayed strong, till she would message me, then id break down and worry about it.

Everytime that happens, the time inbetween every breakup is shorter.

 

Lately, I feel really bad though when I go to leave her. Its SOO hard to to in person, ive thought about texting l(the only time I stayed broken up for a month with her, was cause I didn't feel guilty cause I didn't see how I hurt her). The last SEVERAL TIMES, in person were hell and I always lose focus, and my mind races, and my adrenaline goes, and its comparable to blacking out and I just cant say what I wanna say.

 

Help @_@

[melell]

If you are thinking these things, whether she is really a terrible girlfriend or not, you should leave.

 

Not being able to follow through with breaking up is a selfish thing to do. Imagine if you were in love with someone and they constantly tried to break up with you? That does not make for happy times for either of you.

 

If you have been entertaining the idea for a long time perhaps you should do it, and do it properly ie cut all contact.

 

If you are not sure about it, then put all of your effort into working on your problems and take it from there.

 

The issues you raised really make little difference. Bottom line is you want to try and work things out, or you don't.

[Haydn]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/440164-emotional-abuse-done/post-5336210.html#post5336210

 

 

Hi read this guys posts. (downtown) this sounds very like my story except i didn`t leave when i should had.

[reddragon588]

Are you dating my ex?

[amtz]

I could for sure relate to problem #1! If I ignore her it goes worse, if I go out with my friends I want to get laid with someone else, if I stay home to rest some chick is coming over to get it, if I take my mom out for lunch/ dinner a fake girl cousin or aunt is the way to call an "afair"...

 

By any chance her name Angie?

[hestheone66]

U dont love her, she dont love you really. She will have her mum for support. Change your sim before you have your break up chat. U dont mention if you live together. Collwct hee tjings, meet in public place and say to her, 'we had some great times and badom times but we are basically incompatible as I need freedom band you need constant company to feel secure and happy. I cant be that guy for you. Not now, not ever. I know this is for the best and I have thought long and hard about ths and know i wont change my mind. dont try to contact me for the next 2 months as its better for us to heal and move on with our lives.' And then walk away dont look back. Tough, clean and honest