I never got laid in college. I'm so depressed, Why do I suck?

[The bobster]

I'm 22 years old. I'm a virgin. I've never even kissed a girl that has been to my school. Granted I have kissed a girl before, but that never led anywhere. In fact a few times it just ended up in painful rejection, and I wish I would have never done what I did.

 

I graduate in 3-4 weeks. I'm losing my mind. I literally just sh*t the bed with this girl I really started to like, because I got insecure and never made a move. Its still not quite 'over' but I should pretty much assume so. I got to know her and became friends with her and even invited her to a basketball game my dad gave me tickets for. But mixed body language just added up to 'haha thanks for the game, I'll be hooking up with someone else you sack of sh*t loser...'

 

Its like a catch 22. You're so inexperienced and most girls are very experienced at this point in life, so they expect you to do all of the work/moves, and I just don't know how.

 

Its so sad for me. I went my entire college existence with 0 love in my life, all the while everyone around me is going in and out of relationships/getting laid/etc.

 

I just don't know anymore. I'm only human. I like girls. But I'm just so far behind that whatever I do is just never enough. Its really started to effect me. I don't have a job lined up yet so I'm going to end up with my rents at least temporarily (I was a math major). Suicidal thoughts come and go, but I would never, ever do that for the sake of my parents.

 

I'm just lonely, lost, and forever alone. I need help. What should I do? I completely lost out on what is supposed to be the best (maybe just great) part of a guy's life and its all my fault...

[ScreamingTrees]

For christ sake, get a hold of yourself, man. First of all, when you meet a girl who actually likes you and isn't an *******, it's not going to be an issue unless you make an issue out of it. It's not that big of a deal, stop comparing yourself to other people, because they're NOT you, they aren't living life with the same circumstances and they're not the same as you.

 

That isn't to say that you're not being a bit ridiculous regardless of the fact. Go out and meet people, forget about these pre-conceived notions of how you THINK things are and ought to be.. Just let things be as they are, don't worry, just try to be on auto-pilot for awhile, and just be happy and ACT in ATTRACTIVE ways.

 

 

And really focus on getting your **** together financially, you're not that bad, there are plenty of guys older than you who are much worse off and in debt.

 

Also, you only suck so much as you allow yourself to suck. When I say that, I mean that you shouldn't ever ask yourself why you suck.. Because you should know that you don't suck.

 

YOU. DO. NOT. SUCK. Who is telling you this? I don't want to have to go on a long ass rant explaining in-depth how everyone else is just as mortal and no greater than you are. So just take my word for it, stranger.

Edited November 13, 2013 by ScreamingTrees

[The bobster]

And really focus on getting your **** together financially, you're not that bad, there are plenty of guys older than you who are much worse off and in debt.

 

Also, you only suck so much as you allow yourself to suck. When I say that, I mean that you shouldn't ever ask yourself why you suck.. Because you should know that you don't suck.

 

YOU. DO. NOT. SUCK. Who is telling you this? I don't want to have to go on a long ass rant explaining in-depth how everyone else is just as mortal and no greater than you are. So just take my word for it, stranger.

 

How do I not suck? I take care of myself, I try to make time for what friends I have in my life. But as far as dating nothing, NOTHING. And its really my fault. That's the worst part about it. I literally don't know how to seal the deal.

 

Everyday it feels like a step further behind. That's where the suicide thoughts came in, lonely, rejected, no hope for anything expected... But my parents

would literally die if I did that. They don't even know the depth of my failure. In fact my dad thinks I'm gay...since I've never brought a girl home at age 22....

[kassy]

You are 22. There is plenty of time. So what you never sealed the deal as you say. Just get over it. It is not that big a deal. You are taking this out of proportion. It isn't rocket science.

 

You want to meet someone do this:

1) go out and have fun doing things you like to do. Join some clubs and meet ups.

2) meet new people both male and female and get used to making new friends and having fun

3) when you meet a girl you like ask her out. Every time you meet a girl you like when you are single. Just throw it out there after the first or second time you meet her.

4) don't worry about rejection. Just accept it and move on. No need to get awkward or embarrassed.

5) if she agrees to go out, arrange a date. If it goes well arrange another. Kiss her if you want to. Just go for it. If she doesn't want to she will let you know. Deal with it then.

6) if the kiss goes well ask her on another date, kiss her again and take it from there.

7) keep initiating.

8) have fun with it she isn't the last girl on earth, there will be more failures in dating than successes. But you need to not invest much in someone except having a good time and getting to know them. Take it day by day. Enjoy it.

 

Don't worry about past missed opportunities. Don't worry about beig rejected just go out meet people enjoy yourself and ask girls out.

 

College was fun for me, but was it the best time in my life... No by a long shot. Now, in my 30's life is awesome. I was a late bloomer. It's been lots of fun.

[Revolver]

A lot of guys get a reality check when they go away to college and realize its not the massive Orgy that movies,TV,and songs say it is.

 

Well it is for some guys, but that's only a very small percentage(jocks,Popular guys,frat dudes, generally attractive guys)

[madjac74]

If you literally **** the bed then yes I can understand why you are a virgin

[Zezima]

[d0nnivain]

Please don't kill yourself. Virginity can be cured. Suicide can't. If you are feeling that awful, go see mental health on campus before you graduate.

 

As for the girl that you haven't made a move on, stop trying to read her body language. You are probably reading it wrong. I doubt she's thinking the negative thoughts you are projecting on to her. More likely, she's wondering why you haven't asked her out on the next date &/or why you didn't make a move if you were in bed together. All is not lost, except in your mind.

 

Call her up & make another date. Before you go out, write out a list of 10-20 good qualities you possess & read them aloud to yourself before you leave the house. Enjoy your date. Focus on her in a chivalrous romantic sense: hold open her door, hold her hand, touch the small of her back, sneak little kisses through out the night. Don't focus solely on having sex with her.

 

You should be fine if you just calm down.

[Kate9292]

I never got laid in college.

 

That's your problem. You are obsessed with getting laid. Funny thing about sex is it takes two willing people to do it. Girls around you can probably sense you only want to get laid and this is a turn off.

 

Instead of being obsessed about "getting laid" and the relation "going anywhere" (like platonic relation didn't count as "going anywhere"...) just get to know girls and don't create unhealthy pressure on having sex soon. I can sense when a guy does it and it's a huge turn off.

[Zezima]

You suck because you think you suck, therefore you suck.

[Avulare]

Learn to stop sh*tting your bed. It works wonders for getting a girl.

[pteromom]

became friends with her and even invited her to a basketball game my dad gave me tickets for. But mixed body language just added up to 'haha thanks for the game, I'll be hooking up with someone else you sack of sh*t loser...'

 

Did you post this previously under a different user name? Because this story sounds very familiar to me.

 

Anyway - you have two choices. You can keep doing things the way you are doing them and keep having the same results, or you can change the way you are doing things and have different results.

 

You can't change society or what girls "expect", but you can change YOUR actions and your thought patterns.

 

Start reading. Just go to your local library and pick up a few books in the self-help section. Grab some titles on confidence, self-esteem, dating, etc. and just start learning. Some of it will be junk, but all you need are a couple of epiphanies to start changing the way you think about yourself.

 

You aren't a loser and you don't suck, but me telling you that means nothing until YOU believe it. So that's what you have to work on, and nobody can do it FOR you.

[vtran31]

if you are really that concerned about inexperience, go to amstradam for a weekend and get some. just save up some cash cuz it doesnt come cheap