FaithInTheDark Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 as a big girl myself i l know how it feels but not once have i ever had a man i dated continiously bring up what i eat etc..just imagine what hes going to be like down the road. id call him on this and say i am who i am if you want to change me dare a skinny girl. you dont need this. im all for hiking and not over eating but it must be awful having him bring this up...u r not paranoid. leave him
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 This guy clearly sounds like he is trying to "help" you lose weight....I'm not sure if his intentions are sinister and cruel or if this is just his way of trying to help you reach what he believes to be his goals, but his actions and words are showing a consistency and pattern here...and in his mind he likely feels like the extra weight loss would be good for him as well. I understand that women want to be loved for "who they are, as they are" but that is really your own job, what I like about the OP is she is not trying to hide her body...she states BBW and posts photos of herself to avoid any unpleasant surprises. So this guy went into it full well knowing what the situation was...however, there are men who feel that "if she was only skinnier....she'd be perfect!" and because of media today that some like to say are dirtying the minds of young men and having them seek out these unrealistic goddesses...the kickback is that some men try and force themselves to date a girl who has a bit of extra meat on her so they don't feel guilty and shallow...they can tell themselves that they're not judgmental, they're not "bad guys" who just chase after the skinny "fake girls" on tv and they're giving her a "chance"...maybe he can help her lose weight and he can "fix" this problem then that big thing will be out of the way and he can move on. Also....confidence/self-esteem is a big influence on the type of women he will pursue, I see a lot of women size up men from the outside saying "oh my goood, he's handsome, tall, successful-talented...he probably can get any girl he wants!" but from that guys perspective he might not feel like hot stuff, the women he might try to pursue might feel out of his league for him, and he's too intimidated...maybe even the jealous type who just can't bear the thought or challenge of having to secure a woman of that attractiveness....so that's why you see A LOT of men date down, especially because a lot of women pursue men that are not in their league and he just kind of goes with it...men who do from the exterior have the ability to date more attractive women do not always do so, because it's not like just being a woman....men are not accepted for "who they are", but what qualities they have and what they can do with them. I would advise you to talk about this with this guy, ask him how he feels about your weight...because you feel like he's been paying close attention to it and wondering if he's trying to be helpful or he desires you to lose more weight...ultimately you're happy with where you are and will make the changes that are best for you. And maybe he's just worried you will binge after starving, he could be trying to do too much to take control of the situation, some men do that...some men treat women like children who have to be taken care of....and honestly, some women act like it too. 1
Recommended Posts