CatGirlz Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 My boyfriend of 6 months dumped my via text message 2 months ago. It was hard but he said he wanted to be friends. Our relationship wasn't perfect, but I really did (and do) like him so I came to terms with it. We got together a few times and then went to a public Halloween bash. We got ready at his house, I cooked because it was an early party (like I used to), it was a little strange because it seemed like we were a couple again for a few hours. He was a zombie and I was a "half-zombie" in the process of losing my brains. We looked great and our photo wound up in the city newspaper's website. When leaving me told me that he had a great time. I shared a photo with him on Facebook and emailed him the picture from the paper. No response. Now no contact since the party - 2 1/2 weeks. It seems like he doesn't want to be my friend after all, and that hurts more than the breakup honestly. I don't understand why... I wasn't trying to lure him back or anything. A guy that I sort of knew came up to me and flirtatiously grabbed my arm and told me I looked great - could that be why? I'm curious what others think.
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 He was lying when he said he wanted to friends. It's something people say to be nice but they don't really mean it. Leave him be. Take him off FB & all other social media. Delete his # from your cell. Get on with your life. If you bump into him be cordial in the moment but don't expect or initiate anything beyond that.
Author CatGirlz Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I don't think that's true. We did other things and had a good time. He's not the run of the mill jerk wad guy, but seems to have problems being close to people.
Mariposa10 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I don't think that's true. We did other things and had a good time. He's not the run of the mill jerk wad guy, but seems to have problems being close to people. Maybe he wants to be friends, but not the kind of friends who talk every week. The kind of friend you talk to every now and then, not all the time. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Maybe he wants to be friends, but not the kind of friends who talk every week. The kind of friend you talk to every now and then, not all the time. This could definitely be it. "Friends" doesn't mean best friends. Either it's this or he felt the Halloween party was too much, too soon on being close friends. Maybe he got a weird vibe so is now backing off. Who knows. Being friends with an ex this close to the break is a bad idea -- if you are meant to be friends, it'll be worth legitimate down the road.
esteem-jam Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Maybe he is like me sometimes - takes days to respond, cant write a meaningful response so does not write any at all. Then, when days pass, ready to write a response, but figures maybe the other party doesnt care now, so does not write any.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 IMO it's a mistake being friends with an ex unless the breakup was mutual. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Really? you want to be friends with your ex? Better go no contact with him and find some REAL friends.
Author CatGirlz Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 What's so wrong with that? I don't hate him. He is a smart, funny guy and has flaws just like all of us do. There were things is the relationship that didn't work for me either - the only difference was I was willing to talk about them and work on the issues and he wasn't. I'll agree that there needs to be no contact, but I do think it would be nice if in a few months we could do an activity like go to a movie once in a while. I like what the previous poster said about the level of friendship - maybe I was expecting too much.
Author CatGirlz Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Yes dumping me by text was bad and cowardly on his part. That's where the flaws come in. But I attribute this to his own issues and his way of handling (or not handling) emotions. It was a big problem for me in the relationship. But does it matter so much if we're just friends? Or maybe I just answered my own question since he's now ignoring me and I'm upset by it.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Yes dumping me by text was bad and cowardly on his part. That's where the flaws come in. But I attribute this to his own issues and his way of handling (or not handling) emotions. It was a big problem for me in the relationship. But does it matter so much if we're just friends? Or maybe I just answered my own question since he's now ignoring me and I'm upset by it. Yeah, the fact that you are so upset by it is a first-sign indicator that you aren't ready for such a relationship with him. I would work on getting past the breakup before even entertaining being friends with him.
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