How to show that you are Not interested romantically and still be friends?

[lovesimplexity]

What do you do or say when a guy who is sorta your friend (or more like acquaintance, i.e. someone you occasionally hung out with in a group setting), asked you for your number and wanna hang out sometime, but you're not interested?

 

First there are these ones that asked for my number, but then also gave me their number, obviously interested, but told me to call them to hang out. (e.g. this guy friend from school who's from my same hometown asked for my # but later asked me to call him to hang out this break.) I wish they'd just got my number and call me later if they want to... Since I'm not that interested, I may want to hang out if I have time, but otherwise I'd rather not. (or actually, do you think this is better? like I have the upper hand now? Or does that mean they are not as interested cos they want me to be the one to make the first call???)

Would it be Rude if I never called them? (cos I'd want to be friends with them still... i know they'd make great friends... but perhaps that won't work, will it? ...Why are friendships with the opposite sex in these cases just so difficult?!...)

 

Seconds, there are also ones that I did end up going on dates with, (mostly cos these are usually friends I hung out more with before than the first kind, so I thought it's no harm just hanging out more, telling myself just to treat it like hanging out with a friend and getting to know them better in a more one-to-one setting), and after they said they'd love to hang out again etc. Can I still hang out with them again later without giving wrong signals that I'm interested in them romantically? I don't think I even want anything physical... (so no worries about sending out wrong signals that way. Would feel very weird to do that to someone I'm not interested romantically... unless I'm feeling too horny.. :-p but still, I don't think...)

Anyways, I'm not not that familiar with these kinda dating social conventions... Usually I just do what I feel like, but I guess it's not always a good idea :-p... So, I would love to hear what you guys think!

[LucreziaBorgia]

If you are interested in hanging out with someone who might be romantically interested and you aren't - the main thing: don't send mixed physical signals and be verbally clear that you have no interest in romantic involvement. A person who is romantically interested will read things into everything that you say and do - and will likely see romantic attraction where in fact, there is none. Wishful thinking is a powerful and often delusional thing.

 

While you are hanging out, don't do anything that you wouldn't do to your best girl friend. That's my rule of thumb. Friends to me means just that: a certain boundary doesn't get approached regardless of gender. Don't do anything that can be misinterpreted as flirting.

 

It may sound like a mean thing to do to be so verbally up front - but it is a lot kinder than letting them slowly delude themselves into a broken heart during the course of your 'hanging out'. You can be nice about it, but you will need to be very firm and clear as well.

[alphamale]

just be direct if you can, tell them you want friendship only.