Will I ever hear from her again?

[bobby326]

This may be pathetic making a thread about this but I constantly keep myself up at night pondering over these things. If you click on my screen name and read my other threads it will break down what happened with me and my ex. LTR, 4 1/2 years, living together, she left out of nowhere, is now back with her family 2 hours away. There were two times I tried to reconcile, once in person 1 week after the BU, the other 1 week after the in person meeting through an email. Both times I basically blamed myself and promised to change and I love her so much blah blah blah. All she could do was tell me she was relieved, could sleep better, does not feel bad when she goes out and drinks all the time and does not feel insecure anymore. Here are the questions I keep asking myself.

 

1. She has said multiple times even after we have a nasty argument that she still wants to be friends one day and that she hopes we can "co-exist", I don't know what she means by this since she moved to another city and is no longer even affiliated with my friends.

2. After me asking her several times to change her mailing address and telling her to change some email PWs because I know them (I don't check them btw but did at one point to see if she changed it and she didn't), I am still getting her mail and if I wanted to could snoop on her, last time we talked was because she had to have her lost credit card mailed to my house because she never changed her address btw.

 

3. I received a text after 2 1/2 weeks of NC giving condolences to me and my family for my grandfather dieing, I only responded with a thank you and that was it. The only way she would have found out about that is if one of her family members saw my FB post with my gpas obituary, btw none of her family members commented or liked my status so I don't even know if they saw it.

 

4. Things seemed pretty good between us and then all of a sudden she broke up with me after she said she got drunk and made out with some guy and then she knew she didn't love me anymore, she broke up with me 1 week after she did that and 2 days before she broke up with me her mom came down and they went and had dinner together and talked.

 

I keep thinking of these 4 things and trying to make sense of them, it seems like I could still be on her mind and that she has GIGS and I wonder all the time if she will ever realize what she lost and will reach out to me to apologize. I was planning on asking her to marry me, I pretty much had my life planned out and she was the main focus of it. It feels like I got dumped so she could go off and get crazy without anyone saying anything to her or trying to influence her decisions. She is EXTREMELY close with her family, cousins, uncles etc (italian family) and would constantly complain when we were living together that she misses them even though it was only a 2 hour drive away. She also said she is back where she belongs and will never leave as she never wanted to leave in the first place (back home).

 

I apologize for my rambling and am sorry my questions are not exactly clear lol, I guess I simply wonder if she still thinks about me, does she care about me, will she ever come back, I know I would never take her back and have already come to the conclusion that I will not respond to any messages she sends to me unless it is a full blown heartfelt apology. I'm afraid she will contact me around Thanksgiving and christmas, I have already decided that I will ignore her as the person she was when she left is someone I do not want in my life anymore as she has caused me so much pain and heartache. So far I am over 1 month NC and 2 1/2 months post BU.

 

Look forward to what you guys think!, thanks for letting me vent!

[drallafi]

This may be pathetic making a thread about this but I constantly keep myself up at night pondering over these things. If you click on my screen name and read my other threads it will break down what happened with me and my ex. LTR, 4 1/2 years, living together, she left out of nowhere, is now back with her family 2 hours away. There were two times I tried to reconcile, once in person 1 week after the BU, the other 1 week after the in person meeting through an email. Both times I basically blamed myself and promised to change and I love her so much blah blah blah. All she could do was tell me she was relieved, could sleep better, does not feel bad when she goes out and drinks all the time and does not feel insecure anymore. Here are the questions I keep asking myself.

 

1. She has said multiple times even after we have a nasty argument that she still wants to be friends one day and that she hopes we can "co-exist", I don't know what she means by this since she moved to another city and is no longer even affiliated with my friends.

2. After me asking her several times to change her mailing address and telling her to change some email PWs because I know them (I don't check them btw but did at one point to see if she changed it and she didn't), I am still getting her mail and if I wanted to could snoop on her, last time we talked was because she had to have her lost credit card mailed to my house because she never changed her address btw.

 

3. I received a text after 2 1/2 weeks of NC giving condolences to me and my family for my grandfather dieing, I only responded with a thank you and that was it. The only way she would have found out about that is if one of her family members saw my FB post with my gpas obituary, btw none of her family members commented or liked my status so I don't even know if they saw it.

 

4. Things seemed pretty good between us and then all of a sudden she broke up with me after she said she got drunk and made out with some guy and then she knew she didn't love me anymore, she broke up with me 1 week after she did that and 2 days before she broke up with me her mom came down and they went and had dinner together and talked.

 

I keep thinking of these 4 things and trying to make sense of them, it seems like I could still be on her mind and that she has GIGS and I wonder all the time if she will ever realize what she lost and will reach out to me to apologize. I was planning on asking her to marry me, I pretty much had my life planned out and she was the main focus of it. It feels like I got dumped so she could go off and get crazy without anyone saying anything to her or trying to influence her decisions. She is EXTREMELY close with her family, cousins, uncles etc (italian family) and would constantly complain when we were living together that she misses them even though it was only a 2 hour drive away. She also said she is back where she belongs and will never leave as she never wanted to leave in the first place (back home).

 

I apologize for my rambling and am sorry my questions are not exactly clear lol, I guess I simply wonder if she still thinks about me, does she care about me, will she ever come back, I know I would never take her back and have already come to the conclusion that I will not respond to any messages she sends to me unless it is a full blown heartfelt apology. I'm afraid she will contact me around Thanksgiving and christmas, I have already decided that I will ignore her as the person she was when she left is someone I do not want in my life anymore as she has caused me so much pain and heartache. So far I am over 1 month NC and 2 1/2 months post BU.

 

Look forward to what you guys think!, thanks for letting me vent!

 

I've got good news, bad news, and then better news.

 

The good news is that, based on what you've typed here, it is my opinion that yes, you will hear from her again.

 

The bad news is that it probably won't be to get back together.

 

The better news, though, is that there will come a time, not too far into the future, that you will no longer care if she contacts you because you'll be over her. It starts with NC (which you've already been doing so good for you), and ends whenever you're ready for it to end.

 

Hang in there man, I know how hard it is. You will be ok.

Edited November 12, 2013 by drallafi

[me85]

" I apologize for my rambling and am sorry my questions are not exactly clear lol, I guess I simply wonder if she still thinks about me, does she care about me, will she ever come back, I know I would never take her back and have already come to the conclusion that I will not respond to any messages she sends to me unless it is a full blown heartfelt apology. I'm afraid she will contact me around Thanksgiving and christmas, I have already decided that I will ignore her as the person she was when she left is someone I do not want in my life anymore as she has caused me so much pain and heartache. So far I am over 1 month NC and 2 1/2 months post BU. "

 

First of all, HUGS TO YOU!

Secondly, your last paragraph hit home with me. I'm with you on going NC & never going back unless they basically crawl their way through fire.

 

Mine won't because he's never wrong about anything and thinks he's Mr. freaking perfect. So vain, so shallow, so easily distracted by "shiny" things. Whoever he settles down with must have to be perfect. Bitch.jklol

 

I'm so sorry your ex hurt you so much.

 

This is what you do: ANY AND EVERY THING YOU CAN. EVERY OUTING, EVERY HANG OUT, EVERY MOVIE, CONCERT, TRIP...STAY BUSY BUSY. Force yourself to. Only allow yourself so much time during the day to let sad thoughts about your ex consume you. As hard as it is to accept, they don't want you for whatever reason so F them! Their loss.

 

Your ex is not the last person you're ever going to love.

[barky2]

Will you hear from her again?

 

When you don't care and completely moved on.

 

 

 

 

 

Barky

[bobby326]

I appreciate the responses, they def help. I just feel like I was the only one willing to commit fully, we had a few bad months, every relationship has it's ups and downs, when she left all she did was focus on all my negative attributes and I focused on all her positive. Is this normal for the dumper/dumpee? She completely avoided the fact that she cheated on me playing it down saying it was just "kissing" and "I've never done tha before". I don't deserve this **** after everything I did for her like waiting 3 years for her to get a steady job while I graduated from college right after we started dating and have had a successful career, anyway, thanks again guys.