ixlives Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 i just want to know if i was right with the way i handled this. i was with my g/f for just over 2 yrs. our first 3 months were the best then it started sliping. i started to catch her in small lies, and started finding an ex's number and address laying around, she would get mad if i said anything and would throw it out, but eventually it would show up again. i always felt she was still talking to him to keep some sort of contact with him just in case she wanted to go back to him, it was a very short relationship, but i knew she still had an interest in him. she just recently told me that what i felt was partly true. i couldnt believe all the fights caused by this, i was right to begin with. for the past year she has lied and deceived me about a "male friend" of hers, she said they are and have always been just friends but for months it was lie after lie. agin if i ever said anything, it was a fight. i was always excepting of this guy and couldnt figure out why the lies started to begin with. for the last few months she has constantly told me how she has been truthful about things with him, well i found out differently. nothing major as far as i know, but because i caught her again lying, she said i'm not trusting. i ended it because i told her i cant trust her and i dont know what is true anymore. i do love her, but i hate feeling insecure. should i have let these things go or was i right after being lied to so easily to end it?
Pocky Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Personally, I feel lying to someone you're in a relationship with is unacceptable. However, I also feel prying into another person's business even though you're in a relationship with them is also unacceptable. It's hard to determine who was right or wrong in your circumstance because it's difficult to distinguish if she was actually doing something she shouldn't be or was your insecurity turning a friendship into something else. I believe each person has a right to personal privacy regardless of the relationship (marriage, boyfriend/girlfriend). That includes checking phone numbers, reading email, reading regular mail, checking bags, spying, cell phone tracking or any other activity that violates the privacy of someone else. One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is excuse this type of behavior by claiming it's an attempt to protect ourselves. It's a weak excuse.
Author ixlives Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 i understand everyone is entitled to ther'ye privacy. it just seemed whenever i gave her my trust, she would do it again, i wasnt controlling or anything like that, i wanted what she told me, an open honest relationship. it felt like that was only a one way street. i did start getting very nosy, and i know im not like that. it hust seemed like if she was given an inch she would go a foot is she could get away with it.
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