Crila16 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 My boyfriend broke up with me via txt after 4 months (for a dumb reason), in the middle of the night, says he cares for me a lot, that it’s best if we break up (because of something so stupid and easily resolved), wishes me well and hopes we can stay in touch (I of course said No way). Now that I’ve been dumped, he has agreed going to meet up with me a couple of days later (because I asked to talk and I’m confused). Is he going to do this just to listen to what I have to say, and only to break up with me all over again...or is this something he might wants to work out? When he first said he’d get in touch with me in a day or 2 to chat, I just assumed he was going to blow me off. Last night he sent me his work schedule, so we can figure out a good time when we can “catch up? I was surprised. the reason I'm asking is I just thought when a guy usually breaks up with a girl(especially in a cowardly way), they disappear and they don’t want to talk.
Zahara Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 My boyfriend broke up with me via txt after 4 months (for a dumb reason), in the middle of the night, says he cares for me a lot, that it’s best if we break up (because of something so stupid and easily resolved), wishes me well and hopes we can stay in touch (I of course said No way). Now that I’ve been dumped, he has agreed going to meet up with me a couple of days later (because I asked to talk and I’m confused). Is he going to do this just to listen to what I have to say, and only to break up with me all over again...or is this something he might wants to work out? When he first said he’d get in touch with me in a day or 2 to chat, I just assumed he was going to blow me off. Last night he sent me his work schedule, so we can figure out a good time when we can “catch up? I was surprised. the reason I'm asking is I just thought when a guy usually breaks up with a girl(especially in a cowardly way), they disappear and they don’t want to talk. He agreed to talk to you because you asked to talk, that you are confused and you need an explanation. Not because he wants to get back together. Most times dumpers want to keep the dumpee on the sidelines, just in case there is a need for them to use you as an ego boost, a fallback, etc. So they keep the door a little open to have some sort of tie with you. They still have that comfortable (not emotional) attachment to you and they will want to still have it and use it. He may have texted you to break up with you and that was him being cowardly, but now that the cat is out of the bag, he can face you, especially since he knows you have softened and aren't upset with him. A part of me thinks, he will keep you there as a fallback.
Author Crila16 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Thanks Zahara. If that's the case, he can go to H E double hockey sticks. I’m no one’s fall back, and he knows that. I also don’t think he would ever do that to me. At this point, should I just tell him forget it...that I don’t need an explanation anymore, that I will be ok and will move on? He did already explain his reasoning for the breakup, and I already explained that he should have explained...so I’m kinda good. I don’t need to hear from him anything more I’ve done wrong for him to want to break up. If it’s over, there’s no use wasting my breath trying to fight for him and looking like a fool.
Zahara Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Thanks Zahara. If that's the case, he can go to H E double hockey sticks. I’m no one’s fall back, and he knows that. I also don’t think he would ever do that to me. At this point, should I just tell him forget it...that I don’t need an explanation anymore, that I will be ok and will move on? He did already explain his reasoning for the breakup, and I already explained that he should have explained...so I’m kinda good. I don’t need to hear from him anything more I’ve done wrong for him to want to break up. If it’s over, there’s no use wasting my breath trying to fight for him and looking like a fool. I would caution you to have the "he would never do that to me" way of thinking. He's already exhibited uncaring behavior by going silent on you for days, dumping you via text and gaslighting you to cover his behind. The fact that he was so casual about being in touch is telling you that he will jump in and out whenever he wants. Whether it's for attention, ego boost, whatever. Anything is possible. Why do you need an explanation? Even if he gave you one, could you believe it? I mean, the guy dumped you over text for something that could be fixed. Why would an explanation now justify his callous behavior? Unless he's contacting you and telling you he wants to start over and will work on his communication with you, there is no need to go back for another round of "it was all your fault."
Author Crila16 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 You're so right. I'm not going to go back for another round of it's all your fault. There's no need. I know it's not me, I know it's him...I'm shocked that a man at his age is behaving this way, after being so wonderful to me for the first 4 months...he became callous over one argument that ended up escalating it due to his lack of being able to communicate...and the breaking up on a Monday at 3am, so it was the first text I would see in the morning on my way to my miserable job. Selfish. I would like to tell him off about that one. When he calls (I don't even know if he wants a call or an in person), I'm going to tell him it's not necessary, that I got it the first time, and I will respect his decision to end things. Now I'm getting angry.
Zahara Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 You're so right. I'm not going to go back for another round of it's all your fault. There's no need. I know it's not me, I know it's him...I'm shocked that a man at his age is behaving this way, after being so wonderful to me for the first 4 months...he became callous over one argument that ended up escalating it due to his lack of being able to communicate...and the breaking up on a Monday at 3am, so it was the first text I would see in the morning on my way to my miserable job. Selfish. I would like to tell him off about that one. When he calls (I don't even know if he wants a call or an in person), I'm going to tell him it's not necessary, that I got it the first time, and I will respect his decision to end things. Now I'm getting angry. Men of all ages can act selfishly and immaturely. When you claim to love someone, you don't text them at 3AM to dump them. The least he could have done was to call you and do it over the phone, if he had no balls to do it face to face. There was no consideration for how you would feel. No need to tell him off, because if he did it, it means he thinks it's perfectly alright treat someone that way. If I were you, I would just send him a text and say that you do not require a meeting and take care. Show him you are taking charge. Personally, I would just disappear.
Author Crila16 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 That's actually brilliant. I should send it...but if I'm going to send it, I have to 100% mean it. I'm angry, but I still have feelings. It is a text he definitely deserves.
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