Emotional abuse or done?

[amtz]

Peteromom BIG THANKS! For your advice you seem a person that has gone through hell and back and that REALLY LEARNED it's leason! I have put into practice many time to ignore her bad attituted in other words when she goes crazy hang the phone or walk alway only to recieve a txt message or call such as... "You sure did have a blast last night while you were gone!" or "you must have a huge hang over from last night while I'm home crying for you!" and last but not least! "since you don't give a damn about our relationship I will let you go! Have fun get laid with as many women as you want ITS OVER."

 

Never gave or never thought she was manipulating me, but now that I read this threat and google "manipulation" I finally come to realize she has that type or personality!

 

Beeing an ex airmen PJ Rescue member it's time to stand up for myself and MAN UP!

 

"This things I do, SO THAT "I" CAN LIVE"

[pteromom]

"You sure did have a blast last night while you were gone!"

 

"Yes, I did, but I look forward to seeing you tomorrow!"

 

"you must have a huge hang over from last night while I'm home crying for you!"

 

"I feel OK... a little hungover." (don't even respond to the "crying for you" part)

 

"since you don't give a damn about our relationship I will let you go! Have fun get laid with as many women as you want ITS OVER."

 

If you change your mind, I'll talk to you later when you've calmed down."

 

Never gave or never thought she was manipulating me, but now that I read this threat and google "manipulation" I finally come to realize she has that type or personality!

 

Of course it's manipulation. "While I was home crying for you." LOL - that is solely to try to make you feel guilty. If that kind of BS doesn't get a reaction, there will be no reward for her in doing it.

 

Beeing an ex airmen PJ Rescue member it's time to stand up for myself and MAN UP!

 

"This things I do, SO THAT "I" CAN LIVE"

 

Yup yup yup!

[pteromom]

I have put into practice many time to ignore her bad attituted in other words when she goes crazy hang the phone or walk alway only to recieve a txt message or call

 

You have to put it into practice CONSISTENTLY. Only putting into practice until you get a call that infuriates you and causes you to engage in an argument does no good.

 

But don't forget to expect the extinction burst! (Google it!)

[Downtown]

Michellinda, I am responding to your request (in Bailey2's thread) that I participate this thread. I assume you are suspecting, after reading the Bailey2's discussion, that your BF is exhibiting strong traits of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

 

If so, I agree that the behaviors you describe -- verbal abuse, temper tantrums, self loathing, irrational anger, irrational jealousy, strong need for drama, very controlling, inability to trust, emotional immaturity, and lack of impulse control -- are classic traits of BPD.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride. He has a very short fuse.

If your BF is a BPDer (i.e., has strong traits), a "roller coaster ride" is exactly what the relationship will feel like due to his emotional instability -- which is the hallmark of those having strong BPD traits. This instability primarily shows itself in the way he can flip back and forth between Jekyll (adoring you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you).

 

Moreover, these transitions can occur in less than a minute, often in only ten seconds. This behavior is called "black-white thinking," which occurs when a person categorizes everyone as "all good" or "all bad." I describe B-W thinking in more detail at the link I provide below.

Things can be going great and then something will set him off.

With a BPDer, you don't have to do a thing to CREATE the anger. A BPDer has been carrying enormous anger and shame inside himself since early childhood. Consequently, you only have to say or do some trivial thing that TRIGGERS the anger that is already there. This is why it can erupt in a few seconds.

I feel awful but the strange thing is I love him.

There is nothing "strange" about loving a BPDer. On the contrary, BPDers generally are very easy to fall in love with due to their purity of expressions, warmth, and the adoration heaped upon you early in the relationship. Indeed, two of the world's most beloved women -- Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana -- both had full-blown BPD if their biographers are correct.

I feel like I'm walking on egg shells with him.

If you've been dating a BPDer for 8 months, that's exactly how you should be feeling. That's why the best-selling BPD book (targeted to abused partners) is called Stop Walking on Eggshells.

I feel like I lost myself.

When "walking on eggshells," you made yourself more acceptable to him by not behaving like yourself. After 8 months of behaving like another person, it can be difficult to remember what your "old self" was really like. I believe you will be greatly surprised, however, how quickly the "old you" returns after you've been away from him for several weeks.

In the beginning it was a whirlwind romance, he wanted to get married, we got the certificate but I told him let's get to know each other better.

Because BPDers are emotionally immature and lack impulse control, they quickly idealize their partners during the infatuation period. The result is that their relationships typically start off with much fireworks, intense romance, and a declaration of love within just a few weeks.

I did see signs with him trying to control my friendships.

Because a BPDer has a great fear of abandonment and is unable to trust, he usually will try to control all important aspects of your personal life -- and will try to enhance that control by isolating you away from all friends and family members.

I am in my early 30s he is in his late 20's. This is not how he should be acting.

If he actually does have strong BPD traits, this 28 year old man has the emotional development of a four year old. This would explain why he is fully reliant on the ego defenses available to young children. These defenses include projection, denial, black-white thinking, splitting (i.e., dissociation), magical thinking, and temper tantrums.

What do you all recommend I should do?

I join the other respondents in recommending that you stay away from this young man. If you find yourself being sucked back into that toxic relationship, I suggest you see a clinical psychologist -- for a visit or two on your own -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you've been dealing with. And, while you're waiting for an appointment, I suggest you read about BPD warning signs to see if most of those red flags sound very familiar.

 

Learning to spot the red flags is important because you are at risk of leaving this needy man only to run right into the arms of another one just like him. Of course, you cannot determine whether your BF's BPD traits are so severe that they meet 100% of the diagnostic guidelines for having full-blown BPD. Only professionals can make a diagnosis. You nonetheless are capable of spotting the red flags for BPD. There is nothing subtle about strong occurrences of traits such as always being "The Victim," verbal abuse, and temper tantrums.

 

I caution that every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all of the BPD traits, albeit at a low level if the person is healthy. This is why BPD is said to be a "spectrum disorder," which means everyone has the traits to some degree. At issue, then, is not whether your BF exhibits BPD traits. Of course he does. We all do.

 

Rather, at issue is whether he has most BPD traits at a strong and persistent level. Not having met him, I cannot know the answer to that question. I nonetheless believe you are capable of spotting any red flags that exist if you take time to learn the warning signs. An easy place to start reading is my description of those red flags in my several posts at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/275289-crazy-i-think-but-i-love-her-anyway#post3398735. If that description rings some bells, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Take care, Michellinda.

[Michellinda]

Wow. I am just floored after reading this thread. First and foremost.. thank you thank you thank you Downtown for your reply. Yes I did read many of your posts and you are so knowledgable about BDPers. After reading what you wrote I couldn't help thinking that my ex has this disorder. THe way he puts me on a pedestal and then throws me off at a drop of the hat, the way he manipulates and criticizes me, the silent treatments, the withdrawing of sex and affection, the temper etc. His mother even took me aside once and said to me, "You are so good for him. You are so patient. We know what a difficult person he is." "Don't tell him I said this." I thought that was the weirdest thing a mother could say about her son.

 

As I was coming home from the gym tonight, I started crying because he hasnt contacted me but the minute I read this thread I feel strong again and know I am lucky that I havent heard from him. What he needs is a therapist, not a girlfriend.

 

Amtz, your ex sounds like my ex. THank you for your offer and I will PM you as I need all the support I can get to stay away from this toxic person. Pteromom, you are another extremely knowledgable person on here. I honestly feel lucky and grateful for all of you!!!

[Downtown]

I was about to open a new thread seeking advice ... I'm in the same boat as you Michellinda! ...The mental abuse is off the roof! I try to explain things to her in a calm matter and all of a sudden she goes crazy.

Hello, para-rescue jumper, I suggest you follow the link I provide above and read about BPD red flags to see if most sound very familiar. If so, I would be glad to join you in a new thread or in your February thread at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/373414-big-time-vent#post4605248, which seems to be about your current partner.

[Michellinda]

I woke up not so well. I am feeling broken again and angry with myself for feeling that way. I can't get over how he hasnt contacted me. I just can't wrap my brain around it. Doesnt he miss me? Doesnt he feel bad for all of this? And then that feeling of why do I even care?!?!?!

 

Last night around two in the morning someone called my landline with a blocked number. I was having difficulty sleeping so i picked up and the person in a cryptic tone said my last name, then my roommate picked up and the person didnt say anything. They didnt call again but it did cross my mind that maybe it was him? I dont know if he would do something crazy like that but with everything he has done, I really dont know. Ugh when is this awful feeling of wanting him back going to go away?!?!

[Downtown]

Michellinda, if he has strong BPD traits as you suspect, your healing can take several months. Moreover, it won't proceed in a linear fashion. Instead of feeling a tiny bit better each day, you likely will experience ups and downs. Hence, in a couple of weeks, you may generally feel much better and then, one day, you'll wake up and feel like you're right back at the very beginning. Don't believe that feeling. You are making progress every day -- it just won't be evident every day in how you feel. That, at least, was my experience.

[pteromom]

I woke up not so well. I am feeling broken again and angry with myself for feeling that way. I can't get over how he hasnt contacted me. I just can't wrap my brain around it. Doesnt he miss me? Doesnt he feel bad for all of this? And then that feeling of why do I even care?!?!?!

Ugh when is this awful feeling of wanting him back going to go away?!?!

 

This is soooo normal. You still love him. You still wish he was the man he was when he was loving - without the bad parts. You still want to be ENOUGH for him, for your love to heal him. You still want to convince him that you aren't "bad", but that you love him.

 

You are left hanging with no closure and no real reason to be alone, other than his own selfishness and immaturity.

 

But remember this - that you deserve more than this. This is one of those times you have to keep telling your stupid heart to shut up, and listen to logic.

 

Do some writing. Write down everything mean he has said or done to you. Every times he's hurt or disappointed you. Every time he made you feel guilty or lonely. And put that list right next to your phone. Read it and remember the PAIN that comes with his love.

 

It's not worth it. But it will take time to get past it. Our hearts just want to be accepted and loved, and that desire to make him LOVE you isn't going to just go away immediately.

 

When you feel weak, do something that makes you feel strong. Go for a run. Get on LS and help someone else (this was very healing for me!) Think of the things you love about yourself (and how those are the very things he criticized you for - they always do that because they don't want you strong; they want you submissive.)

 

You can get past this. At first, it will be one second at a time and there will be moments you won't be able to breathe, due to the ache for him. Then it will be one minute at a time. And soon, hours will go by where you don't think about him. Then days. Then you will be OK, through to the other side.

 

Don't give up. Don't give in.

 

And remember when he calls, it is because he is lonely/horny and he knows it will be easy to pull you back in.

[amtz]

First and for most YOU WELCOME Michel! Take my word that I truly am here to help you and many others in such a rough time specially during this time of the year that the holidays are right next to the corner. Just keep in mind that what ever pain you are feeling is way better than what ever pain you felt while you were with that piece of trash! Makes no difference or at least I tell my self this. I rather be in hell for 3 or 4 months or maybe I will never overcome this pain and surely I like you will heal, rather than be with someone that is always creating a new cut to my confidence, my self esteem and my feelings...

 

 

Stay strong you live in one of the worlds most amazing fast pace cities in the world!

 

 

Will pray for you

[amtz]

Hello, para-rescue jumper, I suggest you follow the link I provide above and read about BPD red flags to see if most sound very familiar. If so, I would be glad to join you in a new thread or in your February thread at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/373414-big-time-vent#post4605248, which seems to be about your current partner.

 

Lots of thanks for your analytical review Downtown! After I read your responses it made a lot of sense to me.. I knew something was wrong something with some science behind her behavior... Knowing that she most likely has a clinical issue made me be more analytical myself and be more in control of my emotions rather then loose control of my mind and go berserk like if I was diagnosed with some terminal disease! Not even when I left the military I felt so emotional distressed like I feel now so I will pay a visit to a therapist and express my emotional issues and try to resolve myself.. After I will make arrangements to make her go and take some therapy not forcing her to go, but pretty much I have made my mind that if she's not willing to go it is over for good.

 

 

Big thanks LS you sure make my day go easy

[Michellinda]

Thank you Downtown, Pteromom and Amtz. Today was an especially difficult day for me. YOu hit the nail with how I am feeling. I cant breathe and cant stop crying but I forged ahead and at lunch took a spinning class and set an appointment with a counselor so I can talk. I see I have to work on myself, I have to fall in love with myself. All of you give me hope. I know it will take time but ugh it is a such an empty sad feeling. I feel like I lost my best friend. I keep re-reading all of your responses for strength. Tonight I am accompanying my Dad and sis to an event. I hope it will be enjoyable.

[Downtown]

Knowing that she most likely has a clinical issue made me be more analytical myself and be more in control of my emotions rather then loose control of my mind and go berserk like if I was diagnosed with some terminal disease! Not even when I left the military I felt so emotional distressed like I feel now.

Amtz, if you've been living with a BPDer for 7 months, feeling like your are losing control of your mind is exactly how many abused partners feel in that situation. Of the 157 mental disorder listed in the APA's diagnostic manual, BPD is the one most notorious for making the abused partners feel like they may be going crazy.

I will pay a visit to a therapist and express my emotional issues.

If you can, see a clinical psychologist or, if you think you might need medication, a psychiatrist. If you are simply seeking a diagnosis, you will find the psychologists to be half the price of psychiatrists because you don't have to pay for the medical degree -- but, rather, only the PhD degree in psychology.

I will make arrangements to make her go and take some therapy not forcing her to go, but pretty much I have made my mind that if she's not willing to go it is over for good.

I suggest that you not rely on HER psychologist for a diagnosis because, if she is a high functioning BPDer, it is unlikely her therapist will tell her the name of her disorder, much less tell you. It therefore is prudent to see your own psychologist -- for a visit or two all by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what it is you've been dealing with. It is important to see a professional who is ethically bound to protect YOUR best interests, not hers.

[geegee81]

Honestly, I have been emotionally abused and controlled a few years ago. It was the saddest lowest time of my life. It does not feel good to have to walk on egg shells around the man you are suppose to love. The guy that tried to abuse me came on strong at the beginning. He was charming, chivalrous, and called me 20 times a day...He told me what i wanted to hear....Im in my 30's now so i want a commitment. He quickly wanted a relationship and talked about marriage early on before the control began. After i fell for him, he began to belittle me and make me feel worthless. He had to know my whereabouts 24 hours a day. He accused me of cheating all the time. His eyes begun to look evil to me. He basically told me that i had nothing to bring to the table so i should stay with him cause i cant to do better. I stuck around for about 4 months before i ran from him. He tried calling a few times, before i blocked his number. He called me from a new number 1 year later.... Um No! Blocked again lol

 

So my advice to you is to stay away from him. You dodged a bullet. You would have been miserable around him. He sounds crazy.

[Michellinda]

Thank you Geegee81. I know you are right. Just the sadness about it all really kills me. I need to treat myself with love and realize that if I continued with him it would get worse. How long did it take you to get over him?

[geegee81]

Thank you Geegee81. I know you are right. Just the sadness about it all really kills me. I need to treat myself with love and realize that if I continued with him it would get worse. How long did it take you to get over him?

 

This was a short term relationship. I was only with this creep for 4 months, but it took me about 4 or 5 months to get over him. He caused a lot of damage. My self esteem is normally really high, but he broke it. My self esteem sunk really low and i felt depressed and full of anxiety after dealing with him. I lost a lot of friends because they became tired of me calling and crying....so i found out who my real friends were. At that time i stayed focused in school finishing my second masters degree. The breakup happened in march, but i began dating again in September. He tried to come back multiple times. But he's toxic, so i knew to stay away. This happened about 3 years ago.

 

When i turned 30,i felt the need to settle down, so i became stupid, and began to settle on men despite their red flags. I am now working on this problem. Stop ignoring the negative and red flags.

[Michellinda]

Last night I made a big mistake. We started texting and since I was downtown and work downtown I suggested we meet and take the train up. When I said its been hard for me, he said it has been hard for him too. So in the beginning he seemed happy to see me as we take the train up. When his dog sees me the dog jumps on me and is so happy. He notices that and comments on it So we both say lets take him to the park as we are there he is being nice and being close to me . He tells me he hasn't told anyone that we are broken up. We see our mutual friend who keeps talking and talking. At one point I say its getting cold he's like let stay for a bit then later he wants to leave. THe woman tells us to wait and keeps talking while the three of us leave. To make a long story short when the woman finally leaves, he is furious with me saying I'm tired I wanted to leave. Basically blaming me. Back at his house he is acting nasty (I notice though he must have been drinking the past nights and there is pot on the table, also all my stuff is in the bathroom still). He then says why are you here? He's like I don't want you anymore. I quickly get my coat on and he's saying the meanest things. I become so hurt and I'm like why are you hurting me I love you and want this with you. Almost begging. He's like I felt this way months ago I wanted to get married, I never wanted you to leave, I kept telling you do bring our stuff here. I dont have those feelings anymore please I need space. I cant believe I groveled I feel horrible. I feel like such an idiot. I don't know what got into me. I just cant get how just last week he was saying he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. Why do I want someone that is making me crazy? I just want to forget him.

Edited November 15, 2013 by Michellinda

[Downtown]

Why do I want someone that is making me crazy?

For the same reason that cocaine addicts want cocaine, binge spenders want shopping sprees, and gamblers want gambling. The highs are so incredibly high that, when a BPDer starts splitting you white again, you know you are only a few minutes away that ecstasy. It's very hard to resist and walk away from. This is why these toxic relationships, which are filled with so much pain and suffering, are so addictive. When a BPDer is behaving well, he is very VERY good.

[Michellinda]

Downtown, tell me what should I do now and what do you expect will happen? I still have many of my things there but after the episode of last night.. I dont want to initiate any more contact with him. Please advise me on what the next logical step is.

[Michellinda]

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach.

[2fargone]

Just a word of caution here :

 

 

Downtown preaching BPD to everyone that wants to hear about it is IMO not such a good thing. If you start looking into that direction you're bound to find traits in everyone, and before you know it you actually 'make it fit'.

 

 

I've lived with one. Certified even, for 3 years. Yes I saw traits in my current ex, doesn't mean she has it. Close, but not if you know 'the real deal'. And I'm sure Downtown would agree with me that living with one is hard to explain, it goes beyond what you can put on paper.

 

 

Perhaps it's better to just acknowledge that things are off, not put a label on it, and move on.... Instead of digging into someone elses psyche...

[Michellinda]

I agree with you 2fargone but I had been reading about BPD and it all the signs sound like my ex. I am not diagnosing him as only a doctor can do that but everything I have read is eerily like what I have been going through.

 

He was abandoned by his parents at a young age and still has rage about it. His dad used to leave for business frequently and his mother would lock herself in the bedroom and tell him to leave her alone.

 

He has a bad relationship with his parents. His recent comments is he wants nothing to do with them, they dont care about him, he's done with me and them.

 

His mother stated to me how difficult he is. THey also never confront him of his bad behavior.. ignoring them and being really angry towards them. His mom said to me many dont make him angry.

 

In the beginning he came on strong, proposing, was at a tattoo shop wanting to get my name on his ring finger (I told him not to), wanting to be with me all the time, texting, calling, coming by, getting upset when I couldnt see him. He made our parents meet and told everyone I was his queen and he wanted to marry me.

 

He started showing strange signs... getting angry at the drop of hat, hating my friends, threatening to break up with me if I didnt cut them out of my life, would get angry at my family if they called him out on treating me badly, telling me my family and friends hate him, silence treatments, insults, fury, withholding sex and affection, when confronted he would say I didnt deserve it because I made him angry, controlling who would call me, stalking my facebook and commenting on things my friends wrote to me.

 

He wanted to then buy a house and have me and him move away together. He kept pushing for that. My friend commented that it seemed he just wanted to take me away from everyone and I thought it too when he would comment, "I just want you to get away from all the bad people.

 

Anytime he was angry he would threaten to break up then come back but then go back to wanting to break up.

 

He has been smoking pot a lot recently, told me it helps him to stop thinking.

 

Cut out a lot of his friends (fighting with them) while we were together. When they confronted him he never gave them an explanation.

 

Had told me as of recent that he feels like ending his life and wants to give everything to me because he hates his life and his parents. He is done with everything but then proceeds to say I am not a quitter so I wont do that.

 

He is impulsive. Also made a comment that in the past his ex gf called the police on him when I asked him what happened he said she accused me of assault but I had just thrown a table. He once grabbed a book of mine and slammed it down on the floor so I believed this story but I'm thinking there is more to this story.

 

Wow just writing this makes me thing what the EFF am I doing wanting this mentally ill person?!?!?!?!

[Michellinda]

He just texted me. Hey it was good to see you. Hope you have a nice day. I am so confused and don't know whether to reply or just not answer.

[pteromom]

He just texted me. Hey it was good to see you. Hope you have a nice day. I am so confused and don't know whether to reply or just not answer.

 

Don't answer.

 

I hear what 2fargone is saying about BPD traits, but it IS really helpful to know you aren't alone when you are dealing with this, and that YOU aren't the crazy one.

 

In the end, it doesn't really matter if someone is BPD or not. What matters is whether those traits make him someone you want to live with or not.

[Downtown]

Just a word of caution here ...you're bound to find [bPD] traits in everyone....

2Far, we both agree on that. Indeed, my first post in this thread (#29 above) says:

I caution that every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all of the BPD traits, albeit at a low level if the person is healthy. This is why BPD is said to be a "spectrum disorder," which means everyone has the traits to some degree.

Yes I saw traits in my current ex, doesn't mean she has it. Close, but not if you know 'the real deal'.

I agree with this statement too. This is why I told Michillinda (#29 above) that,

At issue, then, is not whether your

BF

exhibits BPD traits. Of course he does. We all do. Rather, at issue is whether he has most BPD traits at a strong and persistent level.

I'm sure Downtown would agree with me that living with one is hard to explain, it goes beyond what you can put on paper.

Again, we agree, 2Far.

Perhaps it's better to just acknowledge that things are off, not put a label on it, and move on....

Perhaps so, 2Far. When some people find themselves in an abusive R/S, they simply walk away and don't feel a need to ask any questions or learn from the experience. They simply want it behind them. That apparently is not the case with Michellinda, however. After reading my discussion about BPD traits in Bailey2's thread, she invited me to comment on her situation. As the OP of this thread, she has the right to set the agenda.

Downtown preaching BPD to everyone that wants to hear about it is IMO not such a good thing.

So far, 2Far, this is the only statement we disagree on. Granted, I am willing to provide BPD information "to everyone that wants to hear about it," as you say. In doing so, however, I am in very good company. The Mayo Clinic, for example, posts information about BPD traits for the lay public to read at Borderline personality disorder: Symptoms - MayoClinic.com. Similarly, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) provides this BPD information at NIMH · Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

Indeed, hundreds of the leading hospitals and mental health centers are now providing this information on their Internet sites in an effort to educate the general public. They don't do so to encourage folks to diagnose their loved ones. Rather, they do it for the very same reason they provide information about the symptoms for heart disease and breast cancer. They know that, when people know the symptoms for a disease or disorder, they are far more likely to seek professional help -- and more likely to do so quickly.

 

In fact, the U.S. House of Representatives unanimously passed a resolution in April 2008 declaring May to be Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month "...as a means of educating our nation about this disorder, the needs of those suffering from it, and its consequences" (p. 2 of H.R. 1005).

Perhaps it's better to just acknowledge that things are off, not put a label on it, and move on.... Instead of digging into someone elses psyche.

Perhaps. But if Michellinda is unable to spot BPD red flags, she is at risk of running right into the arms of another guy just like the one she left -- as you did when leaving a full-blown BPDer only to start dating your "current ex" whom you describe as being "close" to a BPDer but "not the real deal."

 

At issue, then, is whether Michellinda is sufficiently intelligent to spot strong traits of BPD (i.e., the red flags) in a man she's been dating for seven months. I believe she doesn't need a PhD to spot the warning signs. The reason is that there is a WORLD OF DIFFERENCE between diagnosing BPD and spotting the red flags.

 

Before Michellinda graduated high school, she already could identify the selfish and very grandiose classmates -- without knowing how to diagnose Narcissistic PD. She could identify all of the class drama queens -- without being able to diagnose Histrionic PD. She could spot the guys having no respect for laws or other peoples' property or feelings -- without diagnosing Antisocial PD. And she could recognize the very shy and over-sensitive classmates -- without diagnosing Avoidant PD.

 

Likewise, she should be capable of spotting strong BPD traits whenever they occur. There is nothing subtle about warning signs such as temper tantrums, irrational jealousy, and verbal abuse.