Crush on Co-worker, What she would think of me?

[Walker69]

She works at other office location. We met a few times in one-to-one meeting at coffee shop and work places. She flirted me a lot, I responded back. We had eye contacts for long - long enough to maintain without a blink - 10 or more seconds many times, her body language was also made me think that she was interested in me. I had a crush on her.

 

We talked over phone and exchanged emails about work with personal touch - it was often over communication. After 5-6 weeks, I sent her an email and informed her that I fell for her and also complemented her honestly. I wrote that I wanted to keep contact with her as co-worker because I was committed to someone. My intention was to clarify my situation although I led initially.

 

She replied 5 days later in an impolite email that she did not want me to contact her in the future. We have No contact since then - 3 weeks already passed. I respect her decision and I haven't contacted her, avoided to see her since then - we haven't seen each other since then. I did not want to hurt her - I like her too much.

 

1. What would she think of me?

2. Would she contact me in the future?

 

I have decided not to contact her back unless she apologize - I deserve an apology for her rude email.

[MidwestUSA]

She obviously thought your communications were over the top, or even stalkerish.

 

Maintain no contact, it doesn't matter what she may think of you. She could take the matter to HR. Don't expect an apology; best to just chalk this one up to experience.

[Walker69]

Thanks MidwestUSA. Your reply gives me comfort - doesn't matter what she think of me. True, and it's a new experience. Hope that she will return to normal and maintain professional contact, would it happen?

[MidwestUSA]

Well, you never know. You may have to interact with her at some point due to your jobs. If so, stay away from the topic of your feelings for her. Women who have had someone crush hard on them, with the whole confession of feelings thing, tend to go on the defensive.

 

It's best to move your attention elsewhere. Keep busy with your other friends, family and hobbies. Bigger and better things lie ahead!

[Walker69]

Excellent advice, I appreciate. I guess she had felt me the same way until she knew my situation. So I am not only to be blamed.

[CC12]

1. What would she think of me?

 

She told you to stop contacting her. I think that should tell you what she thinks of you.

 

2. Would she contact me in the future?

 

I don't see why she would.

 

I have decided not to contact her back unless she apologize - I deserve an apology for her rude email.

 

I'm not sure you do deserve an apology. Sometimes the consequence to bad behavior is that people get mad at you and don't want to be around you anymore. They don't owe you an apology for reacting negatively to something wrong you did. You went on dates with her, flirted with her, you had personal conversations with her, and you hid the fact that you already had a girlfriend (right? You were pretty vague about that in your OP, I'm just assuming that's what you meant.) You carried on with her for weeks. Then one day you're all, "By the way, you're great and everything but I have a girlfriend so let's just be work colleagues, ok?" How did you expect her to react to that? If she called you names or belittled you, she shouldn't have done that. But you're not really in a position to expect an apology from her.

 

You've done the right thing by respecting her decision. Just keep doing that.

[Walker69]

@CC12

I never had such situation, it took weeks to struggle and figure out what to do as I was lost and out of control. It's my problem, not her - right?

We learn from mistake.

Edited November 13, 2013 by Walker69

[CC12]

@CC12

You are have assumed correct. I never had such situation, it took weeks to struggle and figure out what to do as I was lost and out of control. It's my problem, not her right?

 

The words of the email she sent wasn't rude, just impolite as she didn't start with Hi or Hello and she didn't write her name at the end. That's it.

 

We learn from mistake.

 

Thanks for clarifying.

 

 

Yeah, it should be a learning experience for sure. When you have a girlfriend, it's a bad idea to start a flirty relationship with someone else. Learning new things everyday.

[Walker69]

Now guilty feelings have doubled up - for gf and her. It's miserable. I may confess to gf if it helps recovering soars. What do you think?