hugznkisses21 Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Can someone help me out here…. As some of u may know…I have been seeing my bf for 1.5 years, we live one hour apart and see eachother 1-2 times a week with our busy schedaules…..and this past im going to say 3-4 weeks he has been different (not as much sexual contact….) He still gives me hugs, kisses, says I love you, and touches me occasionally…in his sweet way. I have asked him whats going on over and over and over again (which I think is frustrating him. But I cant help but feel like something isn’t right cause he used to be all over me everytime I saw him….His answer was along the line of….i still love my love have never changed, I still am attracted to you, u are beautiful, I am attracted to you sexually and think u are sexy I just do not know…..i have sooo much going on (work, school, parent on his back about getting his electrical lic., finising electrical jobs he promised to do before xmas, xmas shopping, money, and not having a running car ((which he just got yesterday)) plus he said he thought because we have been together for so long he said he is comfortable with me and didn’t think he would have to “prove “ his love to me all the time cause I already knew. I said I still need to feel loved. Anyways most of this is me being insecure I know….but…does this sound right would all these stresses effect that and how can I get past feeling like this…..i am asking him if he needs a break he says no that’s not what I want I love you, When I am with him I love it and I love him I just feel like cause he is stressed and not always as affectionate and attentive as he usually is I feel like we aren’t happy……..weird thing is I love him and I am happy, and he said he is happy he is just go so much on his mind and he can get rid of it until it is all gone. He said don’t worry it will get better after everything is undercontrol.
unreal Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by hugznkisses21 Can someone help me out here…. As some of u may know…I have been seeing my bf for 1.5 years, we live one hour apart and see eachother 1-2 times a week with our busy schedaules…..and this past im going to say 3-4 weeks he has been different (not as much sexual contact….) He still gives me hugs, kisses, says I love you, and touches me occasionally…in his sweet way. I have asked him whats going on over and over and over again (which I think is frustrating him. But I cant help but feel like something isn’t right cause he used to be all over me everytime I saw him….His answer was along the line of….i still love my love have never changed, I still am attracted to you, u are beautiful, I am attracted to you sexually and think u are sexy I just do not know…..i have sooo much going on (work, school, parent on his back about getting his electrical lic., finising electrical jobs he promised to do before xmas, xmas shopping, money, and not having a running car ((which he just got yesterday)) plus he said he thought because we have been together for so long he said he is comfortable with me and didn’t think he would have to “prove “ his love to me all the time cause I already knew. I said I still need to feel loved. Anyways most of this is me being insecure I know….but…does this sound right would all these stresses effect that and how can I get past feeling like this…..i am asking him if he needs a break he says no that’s not what I want I love you, When I am with him I love it and I love him I just feel like cause he is stressed and not always as affectionate and attentive as he usually is I feel like we aren’t happy……..weird thing is I love him and I am happy, and he said he is happy he is just go so much on his mind and he can get rid of it until it is all gone. He said don’t worry it will get better after everything is undercontrol. WOW!! This was my story up until this past May. I had never heard anyone relate to the same thing until I just read your post. I dated the "love of my life" as I called her for about a year. We had dated for about 2.5 years when we were much younger and had gotten back together again. But anyways, we both lived about 30+ miles apart, worked about an hour away from each other and only seen one another on weekends. And everything you described in your post above, is exactly what we went through. She constantly doubted my love for her. We didn't have sex as much as we probably should have, and I felt "comfortable" in the relationship. She worked a very highly stressful job and I lived at home with parents. I felt pressured to get my life in order and go back to college. I had a decent job, but no benefits or long-term stability as it was only a contracted temporary job. She wanted to move away with me and we had made plans to do so. Before I knew it, she cheated on me, told me she wasn't happy anymore, didn't love me anymore and she left me. I don't want to say this is what is happening with you and your man, and I hope that isn't the case at all. But I will say, from experience, this is a tough situation to live in even when you love one another or think you do now. Distance, stress, etc., seems to changes things all too quickly...at least in my story. Especially since my now EX, told me she loved me and wanted to marry me up until our final two weeks when I caught her cheating. I wish you the best of luck!
Author hugznkisses21 Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 I have no intentions of cheating on him and i know he wouldnt on me. I was just womdering if anyone else expeiernces stress and how does it affect you relationship and what is the best way of coping and getting around it TOGETHER without feeling left out or abbandoned (sexually or emotionally)....how do married people cope with the stresses of everyday life and how they effect your relationship....im still fairly new at the SERIOUS realtionship thing so anything that throws the NORM off course i freak out
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