Isadora Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of nearly 3 years sat me down and told me he wanted to break up. We first met each other when we were 17/18 and liked each other instantly. After about half a year together he moved away to university, we talked about the distance at this point and decided that we loved each other enough to make it work. A year later I was offered a place at a dance school even further away, but again we decided to work long distance. The distance hasn't really been much of a problem for me because I'm usually so busy with my dancing. I always knew it was harder for him but he said he loved me too much to let it go. He even used to admit he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Then out of the blue 2 weeks ago, he broke up with me. It was hard for both of us, and there were a lot of tears from both sides. He said it was because he couldn't do another 2 years long distance and didn't want to be making life decisions based on me. He's always wanted to move to America and I've always said I don't know where I'll be because a dancer isn't a very secure job. I understand why we broke up, but I'm not coping with it very well. He's my first proper boyfriend and the first boy I have really loved, I've never had to go through this kind of heartbreak before and I'm not entirely sure what to do. We had a phone call yesterday and I explained that I really wanted to try and make it work with him, but if there was no chance we could be together I would have to block him on Facebook etc. just for now whilst I try and get over him. He told me that he really couldn't do long term anymore and that this break-up was the most selfish thing he's done. That gave me a little bit of closure, but I still feel very sad and I can't think of much else. I just want to be with him, and I can't ever imagine being with someone else at the moment. My sleep has become restless and I feel like I'm shrinking back into my shell (I used to be really, really shy until I met him). I feel like it's distracting from my work as I'm wondering what he's doing and how he is all the time. I don't know how to move on, will this feeling ever go?
FriedRice Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Hey Isadora, I know that its hard to sink in, since it is your first relationship. I am going through my first break up too and it has been 3 months since then, so i know how hard it is for you to cope with the situation. The best advise that i can give you is to completely get rid of them from your life. Remove everything that reminds you of him and completely erase his existence for now. You must initiate NO CONTACT right now. Its easier said then done, but you must do it for YOU! In time, you will feel better and it will get easier. The pain wont last forever, but the sooner you initiate no contact, the faster you will heal. I have made every mistakes in the book during my breakup, from begging, to stalking her fb, to pleading, negotiating, texting, you name it, i did it! In the end, all it did was prolonging my healing process and made myself look like a foul. Recently, i found out that my ex is seeing someone else and they are having a blast together and let me tell you, it torn me apart. I truly wish that you don't have to go through the same stuff that i went through. For your sake, please initiate no contact as soon as you can. Its the best action that you can take to save yourself further pain. i wish you the best and always remember that everyone on here is going through something that is similar to yours, so you are not alone! 1
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Yes, it will pass. Everyone experiences young love and heartbreak. No contact will heal you. Hang in there. You're not alone.
Honour14 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 You are not alone!!! Keep your thumbs up when u get up from sleep without anxiety / his thought the whole night ! Keep yourself busy ! don't try to negotiate anything with your ex & Sure it will crack you apart. Leave it as such & make yourself busy. Its time to move on further ! With your life !
Author Isadora Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Thank you all for your responses. I really hope I can heal from this soon. The pain and hollowness are not fun!
LDRdumped Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Hi Isadora, I promise you it will get better. I'm 2 months post BU and I am feeling better. The first few days and weeks will be hard but you have to process and go through all the feelings of sadness and despair. It's important to process those feeling so you can get them out of your system. Get busy, I recently started going to the gym and went back to biking and it really helped a lot. It's not easy but things do and will get better. Hang in there....and yeah GO NC...it helps a lot.
LDRdumped Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 if you haven't read this yet....this is a nice read...helped me a lot. Topics of Breakup Recovery Guide
Author Isadora Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 if you haven't read this yet....this is a nice read...helped me a lot. Topics of Breakup Recovery Guide Thank you so much, what an amazing website!!
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