Bohdi10 Posted December 19, 2004 Posted December 19, 2004 I've been talking with this girl that i like and she said to call her on friday after we hung out on thursday, even though she had plans both friday and saturday. I called her and left a message. Then on saturday I text her to see when she was going out. No response. It is really weird because we get along really well. I am wondering if I should call today or what? I don't want to call so she is not like dude, too persisant. But at the same time I want to call because I want to know why.
lovesimplexity Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 What did you say on your first phone /voice message? If you're confident that you guys were getting along really well like you said, then by all means, try calling her again. Just casually, or even jokingly, tell her you were wondering where she disappeared to. There's nothing wrong about being curious what she up to. Also, will you see her tomorrow? (Like school/work?) Cos then, perhaps if you're not sure, then the safest bet would be to wait a day, and ask her in person tomorrow in person, or only call her tomorrow.
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 i am pretty confident everything went really well. I don't know what she thinks of me and all, but we got along really well and we feed off of each others conversations. I won't see her because I don't work with her, I am a teacher and she works at a hospital. I just don't want to call and be a pain in the ass. when I first called her "I said hey your either probably out already or you can't get this message because your phone doesn't work at your house, just call me when you get the chance. I'll text you in case your at your house." and then i texted her and said hey , what are you up to? and I got no response. THen on the next day I just texted her and didn't call her. I just said hey did you figure out when your going out ? because we were going to maybe hang out that day if she wasn't going out with her brother at night. and there still hasn't been a response. I just don't get why she would say to call her and for her to not get back to me at all. That's weird to me.
alphamale Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Bohdi10 I just don't get why she would say to call her and for her to not get back to me at all. That's weird to me. Bohdi10: Females play these games all the time, get used to it. Don't contact her in any form and wait for her to get a hold of you, even if that takes 2 months.
lovesimplexity Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 I can see that you would be worry to call her again or not. But we like to enjoy a relationship, I think it's best if we don't take in those generalizations like "women like to play games." All of us who have a mind, play mind games to a certain extent, consciously or unconsciously, like being undecided in tricky situations, guessing what others are thinking, and sneaky ways or not, have to pick what to do etc. to fit that situation. Anyways, if you really want, just try calling her again. If she doesn't pick up, since there is such thing as caller ID, leave a message. Ask what happened to her weekend, but do NOT mention making further plans seeing each other this time. Cos if she is not the type that "play games" with a bad intent, (she can be undecided etc.) she would not judge your calling again as a negative thing. You just wanna know what happened right? Cos I'm imagining many other possibilities, like she could be busy with those plans she had these last two nights, or she could be feeling bad to call you back right away and turn you down, or, she could have misplaced her phone /ran into some emergency. And, since you guys had great conversations together, the worst thing can just be that she is not sure whether she is interested, but still, it wouldn't hurt if you just call her up again and ask what happened over the weekend, if you really are that curious. And if she still doesnt reply this time, then yes, we can now conclude that she is not that into you.
alphamale Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by lovesimplexity Anyways, if you really want, just try calling her again. And if she still doesnt reply this time, then yes, we can now conclude that she is not that into you. The above is BAD BAD advice. you've already given her 2 chances. You will look like a desperate and insecure idiot if you contact her a 3rd time and she does not call back. Put it in reverse. Say some woman called you then text you and you don't respond to her. What will you think 3rd time she contact you? You will think she is desperate.
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 Last weekend though I was told to call her on friday, and she didn't answer, and I called her on saturday and she didn't answer, and then I called her on sunday and she text me later that night. So she has had days where she hasn't answered her phone before. So me calling three days in a row worked that time, This weekend I called her once. The other was a text message. So I'm wondering if it is at the desperate point to call again, or if it wouldn't be a big deal. It seems that I have a mixed answer from what I have heard so far. Some people say go for it and call, others say don't do it, you'll look desperate.
chica Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Don't call again! I'm with Alphamale and Max on this. It's not so much a matter of looking "desperate", more wanting to know that your desire to hook up is reciprocated. If you wait a couple of days and then she calls and wants to make plans, you will feel great that she's into you too, rather than feelin like you are chasing her, or worrying if you are hassling her. As a female I've always been against buying into the whole "who has the upperhand"-thing, I think it's bs. But the truth is that it often exists and that if one person believes in it than the other person has to follow suite and play a little hard to get, or else they come across too strong and "lose the upper-hand". If I were you I'd back off a little for now, but be real with her when you next talk or hang out. good luck Bohdi
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 That makes sense, I'm just very down and sad now. I was all excited after Thursday but now I'm like this hurts. It just stinks it can't be easier then this where it makes you sad to wait.
Merin Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Bohdi.. IMO it seems like this could potentially turn into an exhuasting, frustrating "relationship" on your end... Seems like she has a good time when the 2 of you get out together.. but it also sounds like she isn't considering you as a potential "exclusive dating partner" just maybe someone she talks to and hangs out with on occassion. Personally.. I couldn't be about being the only person making any effort to spend time together. At this point I really wouldn't continue to call her ect.. she knows you have an interest in her, she knows you would like to spend time with her.. and it seems she knows that even if she feels like being a rudeass in not returning your calls, that you will still call her anyway.. so again, she really isn't having to give anything here. Look at it from a different perspective.. instead of wondering if calling her so much when she hasn't called you back makes you look desperate.. wonder IF this is really the kind of person you want to persue.. because IMO looking like an assclownette (in not returning calls or even answering your phone) is right up there with looking desperate.. not a good or attractive thing in a potential date..
chica Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 That makes sense, I'm just very down and sad now. I was all excited after Thursday but now I'm like this hurts. It just stinks it can't be easier then this where it makes you sad to wait. Don't let it bog you down - time keeps moving and something will happen soon. Put on your favourite music, have something tasty to eat, catch up with a mate... don't give up on her until you have clear signs. You have had your whole life without her, a couple of days more wont kill you. You never know what might be going on for her, she could have come out of a tricky relationship, or maybe she's seeing someone, or perhaps she's giot work or family stuff going on? It's a hectic time leading up to Xmas. You just don't know. True, maybe she's not into you... but if you think it's worth finding out just be a little patient.
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 I know she came out of a relationship where the guy went crazy. She told me he used to break things and then hit his head against her car. she said he went nuts. This was the last story she was telling me when we hung out. And when I said she seemed like she has alot of stuff going on..she said you have no idea like there was alot going on there.
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 For once i would like it to work out.. and just be appreciated...or for her to call me back or even text me back and be like sorry, I don't think I'm interested. I think it is worst because it is no contact at all. I am a nice guy who doesn't deserve this. But since no opportunity is going on I always settle for this treatment.
lovesimplexity Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Hey Bohdi, So, this happened before that she didn't call you back? I can totally understand how you may feel then, now I must agree that you should not make further effort to try contacting her... At least it's not worth being the only one making the effort to spend time together. True she can well may be going through tough times or other hectic stuff during this holiday season... But perhaps it's best that you be patient now and see what she plans do. Yes, it's always hard if you don't get a clear anser... I've always rather the person just telling me that they are not that interested rather than leading me on... But I guess it's always hard to outright reject a person. So I'm learning now just to take things easy, I mean, if feelings are not reciprocal, it really is not worth it... it's hard to do, but I try my best to just do something else, hang out with friends, do my hobbies etc., there's always something to do rather than just being obsessed and worried over something I have no control in. Good luck with your case! Go have fun this x'mas and try not to worry too much about her for now!
Author Bohdi10 Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 I'm very bitter right now. I am so bothered that I run into this kind of crap. I basically go out and am very nice to people and joke around alot. I usually am the entertainment of the crowd. But I seemed to get burned alot with no explanation. I wouldn't be so mad if it wasn't for the fact of not getting the respect of I just want to be friends. Or I'm not looking for anything right now? Or even I'm seeing someone else, it isn't going to work right now. I get nothing...no phone call....just silence. That's bull....I want to so bad just be like. "I don't get it..what is your deal? I didn't do anything wrong for you to ignore me. I'm going to run into you obviously at the bar. Why just ignore? Do I deserve that?" Obviously people tell you to go watch a movie...have fun...do whatever..but how can that happen when you keep thinking about how you have been burnt?
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