destroyed4sho Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I have been on LS for a while, mostly on the breakup forum rather than any other section. However, good news is I have come to the point, finally, where I am looking around for a new partner!! Kind of happy i am progressing. Well anyway, I am very attracted to this one guy who I see sometimes when around other friends. He is very attractive and I am just crazy about him. He doesnt seem to respond to me, even though I believe he knows I like him - I have complimented and told him that I find him attractive. I am attractive also, and I feel he also thinks I am attractive. I dont know what it is? Maybe he has a gf? Although, he has not mentioned it nor has his friends. One of his friends that I have known for a long time likes me (I think), but I am not attracted to him. Could it be like a guy code, he doesnt want to mess with me bc of his friend? But his friend has not asked me out either.... Then I see this other attractive girl talking to him all the time and he does not respond to her either.... He is not gay, I know that for sure....i dont understand why the guys I like dont like me!! Help? What should I do? I really want this guy, I want to know what he thinks of the possibility of us dating. How do I play this? I mean should I be straight forward? I dont want to look desperate though. Should I act like I just want to be friends with him? How do I maneuver this so it could progress?
Uwaae Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 He may not want to get with you because he knows that his friend likes you. Which would make a very tricky situation for you, because you first have to let his friend not pursue you anymore, THEN, seem cool enough for the man you want, to get with you. If you really want to turn it on, you should invite him some place. A big thing that I fall for is, if a woman cooks for me. You might want to make it a more personally encounter between you too, so that he gets the idea that youre not just being friendly. Good luck and update 1
todreaminblue Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I think its people code for if a friend likes someone you dont make a move...male or female.....even if you do make a move chances are he will stick by his friend......he will if he is loyal......deb 1
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 He may not want to get with you because he knows that his friend likes you. Which would make a very tricky situation for you, because you first have to let his friend not pursue you anymore, THEN, seem cool enough for the man you want, to get with you. If you really want to turn it on, you should invite him some place. A big thing that I fall for is, if a woman cooks for me. You might want to make it a more personally encounter between you too, so that he gets the idea that youre not just being friendly. Good luck and update His friend has liked.me for years! He probably wont just stop liking me anytime soon. The reason I.wont ask him out is.bc I believe he will turn me down and I dint want to look desperate. I have a theory that if.it.takes a woman to ask a man out, the answer is usually going to be no bc he would of asked her out already. My social circle is.small.and I dont want to feel.uncomfortable every time.I see him if he turns me down. I have a feeling.he has a gf although he is.never with her and I have never seen.her. When a guy does not respond to an attractive woman there is a very good reason for it. I wish I knew.a.way I.can lure him away and make him my own. Any.suggestions out there? Any woman that have done this before or.men that have been through this?! I would appreciate any male.perspective. Should I just forget.about him and act.like im.not interested.anymore?
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 I think its people code for if a friend likes someone you dont make a move...male or female.....even if you do make a move chances are he will stick by his friend......he will if he is loyal......deb So there is no hope here? What if I.told.the guy.that likes.me that I.like his friend?!
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 So, I sent the guy I.like some pics of us that we had taken and he had a pretty much had a neutral response." Thanks have a good day! "Lol... Anyway soat.this point...im just going to move on. There is.no point really...im getting.no.signals. but I.dont.know.why. all my friends are telling me to ask him out...but I believe he is going to turn.me down. Any input from men out there??
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 15, 2013 Author Posted November 15, 2013 Does anyone have any advice.on this? I dont know what to do....
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I am happy for you Destroyed. You can never know if someone is taken, without asking or snooping or being told. It would be best to take the risk and ask. This is a great step past that evil person you where with. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 I have been on LS for a while, mostly on the breakup forum rather than any other section. However, good news is I have come to the point, finally, where I am looking around for a new partner!! Kind of happy i am progressing. Well anyway, I am very attracted to this one guy who I see sometimes when around other friends. He is very attractive and I am just crazy about him. He doesnt seem to respond to me, even though I believe he knows I like him - I have complimented and told him that I find him attractive. I am attractive also, and I feel he also thinks I am attractive. I dont know what it is? Maybe he has a gf? Although, he has not mentioned it nor has his friends. One of his friends that I have known for a long time likes me (I think), but I am not attracted to him. Could it be like a guy code, he doesnt want to mess with me bc of his friend? But his friend has not asked me out either.... Then I see this other attractive girl talking to him all the time and he does not respond to her either.... He is not gay, I know that for sure....i dont understand why the guys I like dont like me!! Help? What should I do? I really want this guy, I want to know what he thinks of the possibility of us dating. How do I play this? I mean should I be straight forward? I dont want to look desperate though. Should I act like I just want to be friends with him? How do I maneuver this so it could progress? This is a quite simple equation. You are unavailable yourself (probably because of attachment deficits in your childhood I guess, all the relationships have something to do with this, unfortunately, or probably because you're not still ready to date again) so you look for unavailable guys as well. This way, you won't put yourself there for a real relationship. There is this other guy who is interested on you, but you chose the unavailable guy. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted November 15, 2013 Posted November 15, 2013 His friend has liked.me for years! He probably wont just stop liking me anytime soon. The reason I.wont ask him out is.bc I believe he will turn me down and I dint want to look desperate. I have a theory that if.it.takes a woman to ask a man out, the answer is usually going to be no bc he would of asked her out already. My social circle is.small.and I dont want to feel.uncomfortable every time.I see him if he turns me down. I have a feeling.he has a gf although he is.never with her and I have never seen.her. When a guy does not respond to an attractive woman there is a very good reason for it. I wish I knew.a.way I.can lure him away and make him my own. Any.suggestions out there? Any woman that have done this before or.men that have been through this?! I would appreciate any male.perspective. Should I just forget.about him and act.like im.not interested.anymore? YEs, for sure. He already knows your intentions, you already told him how attractive you think he is, yet he hasn't corresponded your feelings. Best way to proceed here is to focus on someone else who is available indeed for you. Not this other friend, if you don't feel attraction, but other guy who would like to date you. 3
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 I am happy for you Destroyed. You can never know if someone is taken, without asking or snooping or being told. It would be best to take the risk and ask. This is a great step past that evil person you where with. Todddd, I miss your posts and advice. Yes im going to just flat out ask him next time I see him. Regardless, im not going.to expect anything. He would of made the move. And yes im soooo happythat whole situation with my ex is over. I hardly think about that inconsiderate mean lowly person.
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 This is a quite simple equation. You are unavailable yourself (probably because of attachment deficits in your childhood I guess, all the relationships have something to do with this, unfortunately, or probably because you're not still ready to date again) so you look for unavailable guys as well. This way, you won't put yourself there for a real relationship. There is this other guy who is interested on you, but you chose the unavailable guy. I dont like the other guy, just dont find him attractive. There is some truth here about liking unavailable guys. The more someone doesnt like me the mor I start.falling for them. Im just going to lay off after the next time I see him and ask him aboit his status. After that im done. I am seeing a pattern with me. I fall for people hard and then when they dump me I crash really hard. I dont know how to maintain a balance. Anyone out there the same as me?
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 YEs, for sure. He already knows your intentions, you already told him how attractive you think he is, yet he hasn't corresponded your feelings. Best way to proceed here is to focus on someone else who is available indeed for you. Not this other friend, if you don't feel attraction, but other guy who would like to date you. It seems everyone who wants to date me is either too young, unattractive or has some major dealbreaker problem!
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Todddd, I miss your posts and advice. Yes im going to just flat out ask him next time I see him. Regardless, im not going.to expect anything. He would of made the move. And yes im soooo happythat whole situation with my ex is over. I hardly think about that inconsiderate mean lowly person. Yeah, well. I believe the guy should asl the girl. But, sometimes they are too shy. That aside, I must say, do not expext much indeed. This guy has not been too keen on your advances.
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 Yeah, well. I believe the guy should asl the girl. But, sometimes they are too shy. That aside, I must say, do not expext much indeed. This guy has not been too keen on your advances. Okay, just an update. So I know his friend likes me for sure. He is always texting me during the weekends asking where I am at late. I am definitely losing hope in this situation but I will make one more go at it. Most guys are aggressors and when they are interested in a girl, they will either subtly or directly ask her out. He has not done either. It is okay, I guess I have to start looking elsewhere. I just feel like it has been a long time since my breakup and I really want to move on. I do feel ready, but it is true, I step back whenever someone expresses interest. I am not sure why I do this....I feel overwhelmed and I don't want them to expect anything from me. I don't want to jump into something I cant get myself out of. I also I feel I lose myself in every relationship. The person I am with and the relationship takes over my life. I don't want to be that way anymore because eventually every relationship comes to an end and when it does, where will that leave me?
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 Fear is prevelant in starting something new. It is natural. This fear cannot be overcome till you try, see, and with time doing something new. There will always be that fear that it will not work; but, if you want a future, you try anyway. I agree wholeheartedly. A guy usually is the one to ask a girl out. Subtle, or direct. This is not always true, but with him I believe it is. You have been flirty, and done all but directly ask him out. He has not responded. I'd forget him. He probably knows this friend of his likes you. Does not want to stand in his way, as well. You are not attracted to this man though, as you are him. I doubt going with him would help you any. I disagree. Not all relationships come to an end. Some people get married and live together as husband and wife, till they die. It only seems compoundedly like this, cause of your own experiences have negatively affected you. You have only seen the end, but not all things end. Many dates may end in disaster, however, you do come across one who will not be so. You live in selfish times, unfortunately. ...Dating is harder. You will go through those users and abusers, leave pieces behind. You keep at it, change what you look for each time, more maturely. You will end up finding a person you like and who likes you. This person may want to settle down. You don't have to give anymore. It will be equal, and strong. You will be alright. You may need more time to deal with your inner self more. You may think you are ready, but your mind secretly knows better. You cannot run, only wall, and get there. 1
Author destroyed4sho Posted November 19, 2013 Author Posted November 19, 2013 All true. And im losing.interest really quick now. I mean think about it...wht do I like this guy? Its just bc he is attractive..I know.nothing else about him..also I feel like I was obssessing over him. Not a good start in a relationship. I am not ready yet mentally. I just want.to get oit of this dry spell quick and this hell of a lofe.ive been.living for the past year. I need to find.someone.that gives to.me.equally aa I do him. It feels like I have to search the whole world to find.someone and.move mountains. Yep he doesnt seem keen on me. But there are some girls that keep at a guy.that doesnt seem interested and they.eventually.get him. I wonder how they do this!!!? Maybe I need to do this for the.next.guy I meet??
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 I dunno about these girls who keep trying. Pretty sure that there is some merit towards it. Eitherway, this dude is a bust, his loss. Go on with no pressure, Destroyed. If it works, it does. If not, oh well. Take the mountain weight off you, and go on without pressure, just an oh well or a let's see. You may struggle(we all do), but find such a person you like, who likes you. Still, do not rush yourself. That only causes trouble. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 19, 2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Destroyed, I cannot answer your PM due to your inbox being full. Clear some of the old messages. Friendly lil' tell.
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