flight E Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Force urself not to derive any pleasure from the fact that she tried to find out about you. Try to only feel revulsion and move on with you life. Never contact her again. In truth, you guys didn't have a R to cry over. Forget about her
Author kfey Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Thoughts on what this action means? Is it curiosity? Remorse?
flight E Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 It will take time but U'd be better of not tinkin of what her actns mean. All that will do is run you crazy. Of course she may feel some guilt but it doesn't mean she wants to be with you anyways
marlina345 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 i know what you are going through my bf of 5 years left me for one of his co workers he told me that he really like her the minute i moved out he was already bringing her around to his house and after three months she pretty much living there already it hurts a lot we have a 2 year old together and there pretty much playing house with my kid it hurts but it does get better i've been where you have and although im still not over the break up im in a much better place then where i was three months ago. so believe me when i say it does get better and soon you will begin to realize little by little how much she really hurt you. right now your too blind to see it because your letting your emotions take over. good luck
Chi townD Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Thoughts on what this action means? Is it curiosity? Remorse? It means that you did something stupid and threaten suicide. She hasn't heard from you in a few days and is concerned that you actually when through with it and she doesn't want that hanging over her head. So, she contacted your friend to contact you to see if you were still alive and kicking or if he would go over there and discover your body. Don't overthink this dude. She isn't worth the time or the effort. Time to heal and move on. Forget she ever existed. Start to make positive changes in your life. 1
Author kfey Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 It means that you did something stupid and threaten suicide. She hasn't heard from you in a few days and is concerned that you actually when through with it and she doesn't want that hanging over her head. So, she contacted your friend to contact you to see if you were still alive and kicking or if he would go over there and discover your body. Yes that was stupid. And it happened ten days ago. Since then there's been no contact. She's up to something and I don't like it. I told another mutual friend of ours, someone she met through me and hung out with occasionally apart from me. This friend has yet to respond back to me after telling her what happened. She even contacted my ex first before she talked to me. For this reason, part of me feels like she's trying to turn my friends against me.
Chi townD Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Yes that was stupid. And it happened ten days ago. Since then there's been no contact. She's up to something and I don't like it. I told another mutual friend of ours, someone she met through me and hung out with occasionally apart from me. This friend has yet to respond back to me after telling her what happened. She even contacted my ex first before she talked to me. For this reason, part of me feels like she's trying to turn my friends against me. A lot of times, mutual friends get put into an awkward position and they would rather stay out of it. That's probably what happened there.
MoooOinkBaaa Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Ugh this thread makes my heart heavy. Only a year? Wow. Oh well at least you didn't waste anymore time on her.
Author kfey Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 A lot of times, mutual friends get put into an awkward position and they would rather stay out of it. That's probably what happened there. Of course, and she doesn't want to be involved. But it seems like my ex is putting people in the middle.
headinthecloud Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I read a book at my therapist's behest called Is it Love or Addiction? Perhaps someone reading this thread has read it. Included were stories of infidelity by a partner that resulted in problems, which were corrected. I know, I'm in denial a bit. At least humor me. Your definitely in denial at the moment. Try this, walk over to a full length mirror and look at yourself. Now ask yourself, "would I date me right now?" - if the answer is no, then you need to heal yourself because you're not ready to be in a relationship ...she can't save you from your depression (and neither will the drugs)...only you can save yourself. If you want to get over your depression and get back to who you truly are, then you have to let go of the hope of what could have been. Go NC and start healing. 4 months from now, if you can look at yourself in the mirror with confidence that you are someone you would like to date or hangout then reassess whether or not she is someone you want in your life. Right now, I think you're overwhelmed by emotions and you have to take time to rebuild a strong emotional foundation. Don't trust your decision making at the moment, listen to the constructive feedback that the LS community members are sharing with you. They've been through or are going through the same thing. This will pass, believe in what will be. Believe in yourself. 1
headinthecloud Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Of course, and she doesn't want to be involved. But it seems like my ex is putting people in the middle. This is why you have to go NC. And you'll have to ask your friends to help you and never mention her or anything related to her for at least 4 months. If they're good friends, they'll protect you. Read Barky's post on the broken hearted...I'll bump it for you. You should also go to the "coping" section and read the NO CONTACT rules thats pinned at the top. 1
Author kfey Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Read Barky's post on the broken hearted...I'll bump it for you. You should also go to the "coping" section and read the NO CONTACT rules thats pinned at the top. Thanks, I appreciated that. I am totally no contact with her. On social media, even. The only way I'm hearing about the kind of **** she's pulling is through friends. And it does seem like she's trying to get people involved purposefully, or worse make people pick sides.
Harradin Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I'm sorry this happened to you, I had a similar thing happen to me last year (September 12,) but it was a friend she cheated/left me for. I know how much it hurts and how much it changes personalities too! Its awful to think that someone you love deeply and trusted so much was prepared to hurt you to that extent. Its natural to still love her so soon after the BU, I still loved my ex for a good 6 months after the BU, its hard to get rid of such strong feelings. Its hard because the dumpee hasn't done anything wrong, its all on the dumper and yet the dumpee is the one who's hurt, it makes no sense sometimes! It helped me to think with my brain rather then my heart (basically taking the emotions out of the equation) to help me get over her personally, don't know whether it'd help for you. Having been there, NC is the only way to go. TaraMaiden has an amazing NC guide somewhere on here, you basically proclaim her dead in your mind (quite frankly she should be dead to you anyway.) You cut all contact so there's no way she could ever contact you, my NC is so tight that the only way she could contact me is if she came to my house or bumped into me in the street. Funnily enough she's not even tried to contact me, nor have any of the mutual friends told me she's asked about me since I started NC. I don't even know what day/date I started NC now (it was in some point in October last year,) as time passes you slowly begin to forget about them and not care for them. The only thing I miss about my ex is the memories and possibly the chemistry, I don't miss her or have any intention of getting into contact with her again. Its funny though, when it happened my friend (was a mutual of hers) told me that I was better off without her, and told me I'd realise how much better off I was without her and funnily enough now, I see how much I was better off without her. She cheated on and left the guy she cheated on me and left me for too about 5-6 months later, so it does bite back! Listen, this is going to hurt for a long time. You may never lose the pain this person caused you, it ill be very dull in time, but you will always have a sense memory of it. This is interesting, as even now I have a sense memory of it, its still painful to think back about it.
Author kfey Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 The thing is, I don't want to shut her out. I am steadfast in maintaining no contact with her, but if she does have something to say, she has ways of transmitting that to me. I just won't reply unless it's something I can accept. And I couldn't accept much right now, given what she's done and continuing to do.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 You can't stop them. Plain and simple. It's painful and it's a big slap in the face, but there is nothing you can do about it. What exactly did you have in mind, anyway? For your sake, cut ties with these people. Walk away knowing you handled yourself in the best way you could.
crederer Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 The responses are going to be the same as on your other thread. 1
Confusedguy81 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 go to a Haitian witch doctor and ask them to create a voodoo doll of each of them for you. Poke the dolls in the ankles. Will hurt like crazy. 1
Author kfey Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 go to a Haitian witch doctor and ask them to create a voodoo doll of each of them for you. Poke the dolls in the ankles. Will hurt like crazy. Oh yes, I have thought about voodoo dolls... I miss her a lot this morning. The mornings are the worst. By the end of the day I usually build up malaise toward her and go to bed almost angry at her. That's gone in the mornings, and all I want is her.
flight E Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 You will feel better wit time. That's 4 sure but don't ever contact her
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