greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 My new bf told me earlier today that I helped him finally get over his ex… I'm confused. So he started dating me and he wasn't over her at the time? To give you the specific details on timing, they broke up during the holidays last year and we've been dating for a couple of months now. I felt glad to hear that I had some positive effect in him moving on but does that mean I'm just a rebound or what?
Author greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Well if you want to look at it that way you can. Would be a lousy way to look at it though, you'll always be a rebound for someone in that case. Rather, I'd see that as a fairly large compliment. You helped him put aside and get over any emotional (or physical) hangups he had about his ex. You've helped him solve a problem he couldn't fix himself. He's basically affirmed that you mean so much to him that he now feels healed from his previous relationship. And I feel corny as balls writing that too. You're welcome. Hahah, thank you so much.
Uwaae Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 That is a really good thing. 1. He's confident enough to tell you such a personal thing, which means you must be cool 2. Some people never get over someone that the once loved, for their whole lives. Too much emphasis is placed on being "The Rebound". The rebound is just the next person a person gets with after the break up, and they can love you just like you were the first love 3
Author greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 That is a really good thing. 1. He's confident enough to tell you such a personal thing, which means you must be cool 2. Some people never get over someone that the once loved, for their whole lives. Too much emphasis is placed on being "The Rebound". The rebound is just the next person a person gets with after the break up, and they can love you just like you were the first love Never thought of it like that. Thanks for your input!
todreaminblue Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 i am slow to recover from heart break.....and i bounced from one relationship to another early in my dating life....my last rebound lasted fifteen years......and i loved him.....my commitment to relationships is what counts not if i am heart broken or not.....i commit.....so i think it depends on the individual and the circumstances involving the heart break.......deb 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 A rebound is someone who serves as a distraction from their last serious relationship which helps them emotionally overcome a roadblock/hurdle... so basically you're the rebound relationship, you're that next semi-big emotional thing..the next girl will be more likely the person he will commit to...think of yourself as the "ice-breaker", transition girl, the hammer that unbinds the emotional shackles. I speculate how someone could see anything positive out of that kind of a message....I suppose it's just one of those things people need to tell themselves to feel better about it. So yes, he was still into her when he dated you and likely he still is to a degree... and surprise, surprise...it's the holidays...big mystery there!
Emilia Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 It must be exhausting to see the negative in everything Ninja. OP, I don't think it's something I would tell someone but it happened to me when I went out with a guy and I realised he was someone I could love as much as my ex. It felt like he helped me to move on while in reality I was more ready to commit and I met the right person. 2 months is too soon to draw any conclusions. I am with Skuds when it comes to labels. Sometimes people don't realise how they feel until they start seeing someone new and realise they are ready. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 To me a rebound relationship is a place holder. The person ends a relationship but can't stand to be alone so they fill that hole in their life with the 1st convenient warm body without any regard to that new person as an individual. If your BF cares for you as a person, if he listens, if he's interested in what you are doing, you probably aren't a rebound.
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