what_a_blonde Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I know, probably a dumb question.. everyone here has been through so much and I feel my "issue" is tiny compared to others... so I'm sure emotions have been very heavy. The past couple days I've been experiencing occasional episodes where I feel somewhat short of breath and kind of panicky. Also accompanied by an extremely overwhelmed feeling. I'm not sure why. Through the help of everyone on this site, its been decided no contact is the route for me to take with this guy. (which I've followed through with now for 8 days) He text breadcrumbs Friday night, I didn't respond. Then last night I coincidentally ran across his match.com account (while I was helping a friend set up hers). Just thinking about him makes me feel so anxious but sad at the same time. Not sure what to do about this. Thankfully its not a constant feeling, but I don't know how to make myself feel better when it comes about. I haven't deleted him off of FB yet so I occasionally see his name pop up and his face... so I wonder if thats contributing. :-/ I'm normally a fairly cheerful and positive person and I've never had these types of feelings all in one that I can recall, so any insight or tips would be nice to help with coping.
Vinsanity1307 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I know the pain. I get hot flashes, and the heaviness in the chest for my symptoms and never had that before in my life. I am 4 months post break up and have the heaviness in the chest as I type this. My only advice for some relief is exercise. I go to the gym 4 times a week and that is the only thing that somewhat helps. Delete him on facebook as well You dont want to cause yourself more pain if you see something you dont like. Which causes more anxiety.... 3
AZtragedy Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Yes - I have experienced terrible anxiety and 'panic attacks' over the last 6 weeks since my wife suddenly left me. Never before in my entire life have I experienced anxiety or panicky feelings - nothing even close. -shortness of breath, sometimes for hours -lots of heavy sighing -heaviness in the chest -elevated heart rate, sometimes for hours -throbbing head pain -shakiness and trembling I had to stop drinking coffee, and am avoiding caffeine as much as possible, because it make me feel almost suicidal. Exercise does help - walks, running, lifting weights or whatever gets you moving..... The worst is when you wake up from sleep and your heart is racing and the thoughts enter your mind so quickly....
Author what_a_blonde Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Yes - I have experienced terrible anxiety and 'panic attacks' over the last 6 weeks since my wife suddenly left me. Never before in my entire life have I experienced anxiety or panicky feelings - nothing even close. -shortness of breath, sometimes for hours -lots of heavy sighing -heaviness in the chest -elevated heart rate, sometimes for hours -throbbing head pain -shakiness and trembling I had to stop drinking coffee, and am avoiding caffeine as much as possible, because it make me feel almost suicidal. Exercise does help - walks, running, lifting weights or whatever gets you moving..... The worst is when you wake up from sleep and your heart is racing and the thoughts enter your mind so quickly.... I'm so sorry to hear about this. My heart goes out to you. Great idea on the exercise though. I probably need to get back to my normal routine. Used to run 3.5 miles at least 3-4 miles a week but since the cold started settling it, I've backed off to only 1 long run on the weekend and the occasional floor exercises. 1
lovelylilly Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Exercise, exercise, exercise!!! I put too much focus on keeping myself busy so I can't think about anything. I'm starting to think that's not a good idea, but who knows. I don't like sitting at home, so I'm constantly trying to find things to do after work and on the weekends. I'm currently spending way to much money visiting out of state friends, but I go crazy if I'm at home alone. You just need to find something you like that takes your mind off things and helps pass the time quickly and then the anxiety wont hurt so bad. I know exactly how you feel though, a couple of nights I got chest pains so bad I almost got my mom to take me to the hospital. I thought I was having a heart attack .
2fargone Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Contrary to the 'you have to do things and get your mind off of her' I just stayed at home for 2 weeks. Allowed myself to feel what I feel, let it all out. I felt safer at home, although everything here reminded me of her. I still have the 'I want to go home' feeling in the afternoon while working. It has become very manageable though. 1
greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I stayed in my bed for a while. Let it all out, cried at every commercial, wrote a lot, listened to sad songs a lot, let it ALL out….It's part of the healing process. I started getting panic attacks too..I'd get hot flashes, I'd get the heaviness on my chest, my heart would be beating so damn fast. I had to turn off my phone for days, stop contact with people, go on walks, excerising REALLY saved me too.
radiodarcy Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I too have found exercise helps. I go to group fitness classes at my gym - - which have really helped - - because not only am I getting my work out in; i'm feeling less isolated as well. If a gym membership isn't an option, maybe you can find a workout buddy? Although I know some people prefer exercise to be a more solitary activity. I do a combination of staying at home and going out to see friends. In the beginning neither seemed to help. But the first few days of NC are always the hardest no matter what I do. Not sure if this is a possibility for you, but I also try to "hide" my cell phone from myself. Of course I can't really hide it, but I put it on vibrate and stash it in an unused bag or a heavy winter coat in my closet. Otherwise I'm checking it every 5 minutes to see if I got a text from him; only to find that I haven't and the anxiety kicks up all over again. So I try to limit myself to checking messages at least twice a day. Friends and family I can always communicate with via email.
Mario79 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I dont know if works for everyone, I hit the gym a lot and what works there is the focus you give to something else and a feeling of accomplishment. But still at times even while working out you may see or hear something that will trigger an instant response or your wondering mind will bring you back to that person. Then it can snowball very quickly and lead you into anxiety then an attack. When you go through them you have to really stop whatever you are doing and concentrate on your breathing and just give yourself time. Talk to someone that you trust since not that many people can understand what you are going through. Its good that you know when you get them, sometimes you are going through one without knowing and you just feeling like running away.
me85 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 The gym. I have a membership but haven't started working out yet. But I'm getting to that point of, "Get up & do something for yourself girl!"
BC1980 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 Exercise and setting fitness goals has helped me tremendously. I used to get the heaviness in the chest, my hands would shake, insomnia, couldn't concentrate at work. Just a sick feeling in my stomach. I existed on Mountain Dew for a few weeks, which made it worse. It scared me to death, and I decided that was enough. I wasn't going to let someone else reduce me to a shell of myself. 1
NYCheartbreak Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I experienced this a month into the BU. Never had them before and I had to turn to meds. Not for everyone I know, but desperate times called for desperate measures. 1
Author what_a_blonde Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 Glad to hear so many are for exercising on here! We must have some fit hotties on this website posting behind the scenes! Really though, thanks for the input. This has been really hard. I went for a run tonight and for just that time I could think of me, and my goals (get to 3 miles without collapsing lol), and it helped with the anxiety.
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