xpaperxcutx Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 To be honest, I should have known better. It's been exactly 1 month and a half since I last saw or talked to him, and I swear, during this arduous time, I cried and wrestled my mind over the relationship. This breakup made me mental- I almost decided to gave up on school and even quit my job- all because I almost couldn't function from the heartbreak. I was alone, very much alone. I had given up my friends for him, even my identity for him. I was healing too. Sometimes the sadness got so overwhelming, I had nightmares and I would cry in school. I had help. I talked with people and it was in those conversations, I began to let go of the hurt and started getting better. Yet, for some reason, fate liked to tempt me, and last night, my ex contacted me out of the blue to ask me how I was. I could've stuck to NC, I was really beginning to heal but he had to contact me. And i'm so stupid for responding. He's giving me breadcrumbs and I feel so stupid for even thinking he wanted a second chance with me. So my heart is breaking all over again and i'm just fighting through this pain knowing that I have to start NC all over again.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 don't eat the breadcrumbs. I would just block his number. Breadcrumbs are worthless if there are no ducks in the pond if you catch my drift.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Well surprisingly, for what I assume were breadcrumbs was really something else. I found out a lot of things tonight- I wasn't the only person who was hurting. Apparently he had tried to contact me before, on my birthday, but I never got the email he send out. We talked on the phone tonight and the both of us were emotional, me especially. We both apologized and felt it was too soon to see each other face-to-face. At the end of the call, I was just tearing up but I feel like something important that was lost from me, is now found.
barky2 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Now what? Did it do you any good? He's hurting,you're hurting. The best way to heal,the both of you, is alone. Or else you'll just be digging that wound deeper. Please, let him know that you care for him and his well being, and if he cares for yours, he'd leave you be until you are 100% back and healed. If not, then he's doing this for him, not you. Barky 1
Author xpaperxcutx Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Now what? Did it do you any good? He's hurting,you're hurting. The best way to heal,the both of you, is alone. Or else you'll just be digging that wound deeper. Please, let him know that you care for him and his well being, and if he cares for yours, he'd leave you be until you are 100% back and healed. If not, then he's doing this for him, not you. Barky Back to NC day 1 for me. You are right Barky, he's doing this for himself, not me. Somehow, he thinks asking me how I am would ease his conscious about hurting me, but honestly that's not enough. He wants his freedom and but he still wants to be my friend? Not just a friend, but he wants to stick to emails with me. I don't deserve to be treated like this. I have never been treated like this in my life by anyone. He wants me to stop loving him. I will. I will just focus on the bad and how much he has hurt me and I will stop loving him. Unless he actually makes up his mind that I'm someone to be respected and love i will never ever again entertain the idea of being with him.
barky2 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Good for you, standing up for your own happiness, only you can do that. Definitely let him go for awhile, focus on you. What will be, will be. You shoulda wrote here before responding , I woulda told you to tell him you're having the time of your life and never been happier. Yea I like to throw stones once in awhile Barky
Author xpaperxcutx Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Good for you, standing up for your own happiness, only you can do that. Definitely let him go for awhile, focus on you. What will be, will be. You shoulda wrote here before responding , I woulda told you to tell him you're having the time of your life and never been happier. Yea I like to throw stones once in awhile Barky Yeah honestly I didn't tell him much about me. Just that I'm doing well. And I am happy. I am happy with my progress.
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