Bandito Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 i really don't want to talk about what happened. but to some it up, she called, we argued, she hung up, i wrote her this email and sent it in the heat of the moment. need your input please. "i'm done. Alright it's time to be honest with myself, and you need to know this. If I don't say it, no one will tell you. I'm tired of this ****. I've tried talking to you in the most civil and peaceful way, but the only way to talk to you is if we argue. i've been holding on and grasping onto straws, thinking you would change your mind about us. You know you're doing me wrong. Why do you feel the need to punish me? after all the favors I did for you you're being unfair. You wanted to cut me off for a long time, just like you cut off the many guys in your life before, but you know you couldn't because I didn't do anything wrong. you're now using every phony excuse now to keep me out of your life. blame shifting so you don't feel bad everything you did to me. I hope you realize you're the one who pushed me, pushed me til the point where I don't want to do anything. You and I both know I never lied about anything, I was straight up and honest about everything. And it's sucks every time I run into your friends, they treat me like I did something wrong to you. Our relationship has become sour because you made it this way, i wanted to make everything work out, i was trying to do everything by myself and you even said you couldn't give me 100%. I treated you good, and you even admit, you need to learn how to love the ppl who love you. you said things didn't work out because of your part, now it's my fault we can't have anything. I know you too well that you avoid answering anything that I have a valid point with. we could have had a great relationship, or a great friendship but you're throwing everything away, for what? I only want peace with you, but you keep denying anything I ask for. I'm disappointed because I keep telling myself you're a person with heart, but i realizing who you are now. this whole time i've been hard on myself, feeling like it was all my fault, having nothing but pain and heartache for months. i've been putting you up on a pedestal, thinking you deserve better, and your'e this amazing girl. you bailed on me, the time i needed someone the most, you kicked me when i was already down. you need to know how much that hurt me. i have been doing nothing but care for you and I've gotten nothing in return but a broken heart. as crazy as this sounds i still love you, and i don't know why. maybe because i know how to forgive. i just hope you realize what you're doing and the path you're taking with us. So I'm done trying to be apart of your life. it doesn't have to be this way between us. it's all up to you now, we could be cool or we could be enemies. If you don't respond, then don't expect to hear from me again. i'll know who you really are. reflect on it. bye (Ex Girlfriends Name).
Confusedguy81 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 you are playing the victim. I don't think it's a good idea to portray yourself as the victim and her the instigator. I would take a more apathetic approach and not say anything. Silence is the best language for times like these. 6
BC1980 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 (edited) You should not make decisions to write these kinds of emails when you are emotional. I know it might feel good for a few days, but it really will set you back. There is nothing to be accomplished by being in further contact with this person. By writing this email, you only hurt yourself in the end because you allowed her to bring out negative emotion in you. You need to make a decision to go NC on her, and don't respond when she contacts you again. The other option is sending her a short text/email asking her not to contact you through any means. Edited November 11, 2013 by BC1980 1
todreaminblue Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Takes two to fight not one, you have to take responsibility for that ....i would hold off on sending this in fact dont send it, talk to her in person a relationship any relationship even a short term one is worth a face to face resolution....either way ...do it face to face and finalise it.....good luck.....deb 1
Author Bandito Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 you are playing the victim. I don't think it's a good idea to portray yourself as the victim and her the instigator. I would take a more apathetic approach and not say anything. Silence is the best language for times like these. if you read what i've been saying you would understand. ever since the breakup i was the one apologizing, like it was all my fault. being on this forum made me open my eyes about her. so what i said to her was from all the advice i gotten from you ppl. 1
Author Bandito Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 No one advised you to speak to her. We all advised you to stay the f*** away from her. You know what I would think of an ex of mine spewed this at me? "Man. He is still in love with me. Ego boost!" :bunny: Now will you take our advice properly and ignore, delete, block, etc? yes. i don't know why i picked up when she called. i just wanted to tell her off one more time i guess, had all this building up for weeks. she needed to know how terrible she is.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 yes. i don't know why i picked up when she called. i just wanted to tell her off one more time i guess, had all this building up for weeks. she needed to know how terrible she is. just strokes the ego and it gives her what she really wants. There are no ego boosts if there is no contact. 1
Minneloa Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 if you read what i've been saying you would understand. ever since the breakup i was the one apologizing, like it was all my fault. being on this forum made me open my eyes about her. so what i said to her was from all the advice i gotten from you ppl. As I recall, forum members recommended that you *stop* speaking with her, because she was so terrible. What's the point of continued contact? No good can come from it. 1
xUnknown Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Hey man, it is what it is. I'm not gonna say you should or shouldn't have done this or that...you are you. You acted the way you wanted and you let it all out. There is nothing left for you to do, you've done it all. Time to cut all ties and contact and leave her at the side of the road while you drive off into the sunset. 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Dude we TOLD you to stop talking to her. Not that any of us have ever gone against those teachings (me) I'm just saying you did say "What I said was the advice I got from you ppl" Never once did we say "Dude let her know how you feel." We talked till we were blue in the face. Answering the call was bad, writing an e-mail was worse. She could care less what you think or really how you feel. That's what we've been trying to say. You are staying stagnate and stabbing yourself with the knife over and over and over again. How long are you going to keep doing it? Input: STOP TALKING TO HER!! Nothing is going to come about. You are going to continue to be in self pity if you dont stop.
BC1980 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 yes. i don't know why i picked up when she called. i just wanted to tell her off one more time i guess, had all this building up for weeks. she needed to know how terrible she is. She isn't hearing what you are saying. You can tell her all about how awful she is, and it might be true. However, I guarantee that she doesn't see it that way. There's a lot of stuff I would love to tell my ex, but what is the point? I understand that it's tempting, and I can't say that I haven't imagined telling him off. We all want to tell our exes how awful they are, but it only hurts us if we allow them to bring us down so low. It doesn't make you feel any better about yourself. One reason for NC is to protect yourself from this type of temptation. At this point, you are not far enough along to trust what you will say or do if you are in contact with your ex. 1
barky2 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Bangs head off wall. Op pickup your beanbag, and keep it movin. Now you know better for next time don't you? *throws keyboard at you* From what I've seen you've been very much advised not to talk to her. She got a huge ego boost, ****, she prob feels like she could go tryout for playboy and your sitting there writing long emails looking like a weirdo. Just don't do it again,ever. Deal? Barky 1
fancy feast Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Alright, you got all that out of your system. You said "i'm done," so let that email be it. Start moving on now.
forgetmenot75 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Bandito: again with this?? Barky: I find you extremely attractive (sorry to disrupt the thread, I had to tell Barky how handsome I think he is 1
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Oh sure...Barky gets all the accolades! I'll have you know, that actor? Ryan Gosling? ....I...look nothing like the dude. 4
barky2 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Oh sure...Barky gets all the accolades! I'll have you know, that actor? Ryan Gosling? ....I...look nothing like the dude. Lmfao chi town, I just spit coffee everywhere Barky 1
Fufu Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Barky: Don't change your avatar! Ok Bandito, this is why I love NC because both of you at this stage are just too overly emotional to even have a proper conversation. Fights over, e-mail sent, really doesn't matter anymore. Focus on your healing journey You will be fine. 1
Author Bandito Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 you want to know why i'm so heated. she said i'm just a lesson in her life. i never brought her happiness. just because i'm attractive and nice, doesn't mean s**t. said i'm "too white." thats racist. (i'm biracial, she's not white.) she said "i've been with so many guys, and have so much experience with breakups. and a lot of guys are waiting for me to be single." now she's admitting to being a sl*t. she said i suck at being a boyfriend, and know a few other guys who can do my job better. sounds like she had someone lined up, and just wanted to find a way to get rid of me, even though i didn't do anything wrong. she used every other phony excuse to cut me off.
bubbaganoosh Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 you want to know why i'm so heated. she said i'm just a lesson in her life. i never brought her happiness. just because i'm attractive and nice, doesn't mean s**t. said i'm "too white." thats racist. (i'm biracial, she's not white.) she said "i've been with so many guys, and have so much experience with breakups. and a lot of guys are waiting for me to be single." now she's admitting to being a sl*t. she said i suck at being a boyfriend, and know a few other guys who can do my job better. sounds like she had someone lined up, and just wanted to find a way to get rid of me, even though i didn't do anything wrong. she used every other phony excuse to cut me off. And you want her back? Man she sound like a real winner to me. I'll bet every guy in your state is just waiting for the chance to be with someone like that. Your first mistake was hitching your wagon to someone so shallow. Second mistake was wasting all that time e mailing her. She's a loser and sooner or later you'll come to realize that. Move on and be happy that she's going to make some other guys life miserable.
barky2 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 She's trying to HURT YOU Don't ever have contact with this floozy again. SIMPLE AS THAT!!!!!!!! Barky 1
Author Bandito Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 and another thing, i tracked the email using gmail... and she read it 24 times yesterday. lol. wtf?
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 and another thing, i tracked the email using gmail... and she read it 24 times yesterday. lol. wtf? You're not just gonna let things go, are ya? When are you going to FINALLY say to yourself, "You know what? This bitch isn't worth it" and move on as if she never existed? And by the way, SHE didn't read the thing 24 times. She read it once and has been showing it to everyone and anyone to garner sympathy for her. Proof that she had to put up with a person "psycho" enough to send that to her. I'm not saying you're psycho, that's how she's probably presenting it to other people. 1
Eddie007 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 She was probably showing it to all her friends and having a good laugh about it. Best to move on now and put all this behind you.
reddragon588 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 Just drop contact with her. You know that it's only going to cause drama or hurt, so unless you crave that just ignore her. None of your interactions with her post breakup have been positive, it's not going to change anytime soon.
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