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Trying to find peace

Heartbroken143

By Heartbroken143
in Infidelity

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Heartbroken143 New Member

Heartbroken143

Posted
Posted (edited)

I have never opened up in this way before,but after reading some of the stories posted, I am hoping to get someinsight. I am just over 30 and gotmarried Dec 2012. All I have ever wantedwas to be a wife and mother. I thoughtall of my dreams came true. He was sogood to me, and my family, I did not think I it could get any better. We had been dating for 4 years before we gotmarried, and it was always so easy. InJune I saw a change in him. He started blamingme for financial issues, and blaming me about how close I was with my familyand criticizing my culture. It all cameout of nowhere and I did not know what to do. During this time his 18 year old brother had come to stay with us forthe summer. I got him a job at the placeI worked, lent him my car, cooked and cleaned for both of them. Then my husband stopped coming home, saying Imade it uncomfortable for him, leaving me with his brother to take careof. I did not understand what washappening, I was so happy, could this just be a phase? Well he told me that he needed some space,and would rent a place. I found out hebought a house behind my back and 4 days later found out he was having anaffair with a women with 2 kids, and she and the kids have now moved him withhim. I am so confused and heartbroken. We were just talking about having kids inApril, and now he gets to live my dream life with another women. When I foundeverything out, I filled for divorce, and now he is trying to go after myhouse, that I bought. I don’t understandhow people can do this. I did everythingfor him, and loved him with all of my heart. I am just feeling like I may never find anyone else, or trust anyone.

Edited by Heartbroken143
harrybrown Established Member

harrybrown

Posted
Posted

I am sorry that you are going thru this horrible experience.

 

Go NC on him. Get the divorce and do not text or phone him.

 

The 180 helps you to detach, but it takes a long time.

 

You will find someone better someday.

  • Like 3
ChooseTruth Established Member

ChooseTruth

Posted
Posted
I have never opened up in this way before,but after reading some of the stories posted, I am hoping to get someinsight. I am just over 30 and gotmarried Dec 2012. All I have ever wantedwas to be a wife and mother. I thoughtall of my dreams came true. He was sogood to me, and my family, I did not think I it could get any better. We had been dating for 4 years before we gotmarried, and it was always so easy. InJune I saw a change in him. He started blamingme for financial issues, and blaming me about how close I was with my familyand criticizing my culture. It all cameout of nowhere and I did not know what to do. During this time his 18 year old brother had come to stay with us forthe summer. I got him a job at the placeI worked, lent him my car, cooked and cleaned for both of them. Then my husband stopped coming home, saying Imade it uncomfortable for him, leaving me with his brother to take careof. I did not understand what washappening, I was so happy, could this just be a phase? Well he told me that he needed some space,and would rent a place. I found out hebought a house behind my back and 4 days later found out he was having anaffair with a women with 2 kids, and she and the kids have now moved him withhim. I am so confused and heartbroken. We were just talking about having kids inApril, and now he gets to live my dream life with another women. When I foundeverything out, I filled for divorce, and now he is trying to go after myhouse, that I bought. I don’t understandhow people can do this. I did everythingfor him, and loved him with all of my heart. I am just feeling like I may never find anyone else, or trust anyone.

It is hard to comprehend... They get into the affair fog or whatever. Pure selfishness if you ask me. Keep posting and reading here. It'll piss you off a lot, but at the same time you'll see accounts of people that will inspire you to trust again. The biggest thing is you'll start to learn the difference between those kinds of people.

 

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It's an awful awful thing.

  • Like 2
Raena Established Member

Raena

Posted
Posted

I'm also sorry for what you are going through.

 

I wish I could tell you that it does get better, but I'm still working on that myself. Kind of going through similar feelings right now too.

 

Be thankful you didn't have children with him and that he showed his true colors now rather than later. I see where you said you wanted children, but it's probably your very good luck that you didn't with him.

 

Do what the others said, go no contact, avoid him completely.

 

Is the deed to your house in your name or his?

  • Like 1
Raena Established Member

Raena

Posted
Posted

Also... if he bought a house while still married to you then it will be considered a marital asset I believe.

 

Did you consult a lawyer or just file on your own?

Spark1111 Established Member

Spark1111

Posted
Posted

I am so sorry you find yourself n this painful mess.

 

You must inform your family, his family and friends. You need a support system now.

 

His brother should find his own place too!

 

if his name is NOT on the deed, he cannot claim your house.

 

I have no doubt you feel confused...but you need to get to angry..Angry will galvanize you to act in your best behalf.

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