Melrapuo Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 To try to give an idea to my current situation... I'm 26 and I've been single since March of this year. My last break up involved an ex that I have dated twice (this past relationship was the second go-around.) We dated for about two years, broke up and dated others for about 4 years, then got back together in 2012. In Sept. 2012 we decided to move in together, and unfortunately we broke up because of jealousy issues on my part (she had previously left me for someone else and I wasn't comfortable with her being friends with a guy who was obviously flirting and passive-aggressively sabotaging our relationship.) and her interpreting my actions as being me not trusting her at all. Long story short, I moved out of the apartment we got, helped her a bit with the apartment, and have since moved into a new place with a couple of friends. My ex and I haven't spoken in a couple months, and I don't have a problem with that. She's now with someone else, and I took some time away from dating just to work on myself. Anyway, I've been single for about 8 months or so, and I've been celibate for over a year. Six months were not by choice because I was still with my ex at the time and we were fighting lol. In terms of meeting anyone, I've tried online dating and was stood up once, and the remainder of the time I've gotten nowhere (nobody responds to me, and I'm not that surprised. There's just way to many guys chasing a limited amount of girls.) In terms of real life, I've tried to meet girls through my friends. One girl I liked in particular was also showing an interest in me, and for a little bit things seemed to be slowly working out...until I told her I liked her. Well, three days after that she was back with her ex. Great. Fantastic. Since then I've really just attempted to work on myself. I find out tomorrow if I get a promotion, I've been working out a lot more. I do find girls that are attracted to me, but I'm not necessarily attracted to them. I'm not quite sure if its because I've become rather bitter towards the idea of love or relationships, and I'm not the kind of guy who likes one night stands or random hook-ups. I tend to want to only pursue those who reciprocate any feelings I have towards them. Maybe its a safety mechanism, not really sure... Either way, I'm starting to get at my wit's end. I understand I'm young, and that I have my whole life ahead of me, blah blah blah. I've just had many disappointments over the past year or so, and I'm sick and tired of it. I used to be a pushover when I was a lot younger, and now I don't have a problem in telling people to **** off because I had to learn the wrong way to not be the wimpy nice guy. But it still doesn't stop me from being so damn frustrated with everything. I'm out of ideas, so if anyone has any, please feel free to let me know. I'm currently on hiatus from looking for love. I'm hoping not actively looking will make me more aware of better opportunities in meeting someone. However, I'm not really sure what the right course of action (if any) there is anymore. Blegh.
me85 Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 I really enjoyed reading your thread. You seem like a very down to Earth guy who is making all of the right decisions in life. I'm 28, female and am honestly in the same spot as you. I can't seem to find a guy who is mature enough to stay when times get tough and work through the hard times. I'm always the one who loves more, tries more, cares more...Why? As much of a cliche it is, you'll find lasting love when you least expect it. You and your ex of 2 years reconnected after 4 years? And after dating other people? Wow. That's not an every day story. My ex seems to have that same theory. "Maybe if we move on & date other people to know what we really have..." Ugh but I doubt I'll ever be able to try again down the line. He's hurt me far too much and did me so so wrong. So that's awesome you are focusing on yourself! My ex is out there already "moving on" but I'm staying away from dating for now (and probably until someone chases me around enough lol) because I'm just too scared of being hurt again and honestly just feel like I have nothing more to give at this point. Hang in there Mel.
Kansas87 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I'm 28, female and am honestly in the same spot as you. I can't seem to find a guy who is mature enough to stay when times get tough and work through the hard times. I'm always the one who loves more, tries more, cares more...Why? Amen, sister. I'm 26 and I feel the same way. I know that in reality it wasn't a one-way street, but still, it's hard not to feel that way. Mel, I feel for you. I have only ever met guys through online dating, except for my most recent ex, who was introduced by a mutual friend. So I really have no idea how to meet people without going on Match or POF or whatever. I'm just not the type of girl that guys EVER talk to or approach in that way in public. But I'm off track. Just remember that your ex is rebounding and it probably won't work out. By taking time for yourself you're probably setting yourself up for better success in the future
Author Melrapuo Posted November 30, 2013 Author Posted November 30, 2013 Thanks for the response My main fear is getting so used to being single that I become afraid to date again. So instead of complaining, I'm gonna try some OLD. I'm keeping options open, but I'm not gonna sit around and hope someone walks into my life. I think that's just being unrealistic. Here goes nothin' lol
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