countrygrl26 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Long story short.. Met a guy on a dating site.. talked for a week then went on our first date. We spent our birthdays together, he was my date to a good friend of mines wedding, hes met all my friends, ive only met one of his..we spend about 1-3 times a week together, we have been intimate. When i asked him about a month ago what we are he told me he doesn't know what we are but he just got out of a 6 year relationship just wants to go slow and not ready to commit yet. The problem is that hes still active on the site we met on, i catch him texting other girls when he is with me, i have also caught him in lies as to what hes doing and who hes with (we live in a small town). Since the second week of us seeing eachother, i have always been the one to ask to go out or do something.. I 95% of the time always text him or call him first. Its been 2 and a half months now.. Any advice on the situation or what i should do. I want to talk to him again about us but im scared to...
countryrider13 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 It is possible that he really doesn't want to or isn't ready to commit after just getting out of a long term relationship. if the two of you are not officially a couple then imo he then has the right to talk to others and possibly go on dates. If you don't trust him already, since you said you caught him in lies then he's probably not the guy for you. I would ease off on all the work on your end... initiating all the calls and texts and see if he starts to initiate. If not maybe he's just not that interested.
Author countrygrl26 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 It is possible that he really doesn't want to or isn't ready to commit after just getting out of a long term relationship. if the two of you are not officially a couple then imo he then has the right to talk to others and possibly go on dates. If you don't trust him already, since you said you caught him in lies then he's probably not the guy for you. I would ease off on all the work on your end... initiating all the calls and texts and see if he starts to initiate. If not maybe he's just not that interested. I have pulled away before and he does initiate when that happens. I feel sometimes I make myself very available to him, but I do show him that I have a life of my own. I just care for him a lot, and I would like it to be exclusive, even if its not "official" per say. being that I asked him just a month ago about this im nervous to bring it up again. You're right with him being able to talk to or date whoever he wishes because we aren't anything but dating right now.. but I don't want that anymore. I have not seen anyone since me and him have been dating/seeing eachother.
Addison312 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 If you want more than casual dating, you should probably look elsewhere. Doesn't sound like he's that into it if he is texting other girls while with you. 2
Author countrygrl26 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 If you want more than casual dating, you should probably look elsewhere. Doesn't sound like he's that into it if he is texting other girls while with you. should I say something to him about that?
MidwestUSA Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 should I say something to him about that? If you want to. But, that's so incredibly rude, I would next him. Even if you knew for a fact he was multidating, it doesn't give him a pass to disrespect you this way.
Gottabestrong Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 My advice is to sit him down next time you see him and say something along the lines of: 'I really enjoyed getting to know you and had fun. But I am looking for a serious relationship and it does not look like you are looking for the same thing. No hard feelings, but if you don't want to be exclusive with me, than I am going to continue my search. Good luck to you.' And then you walk away and don't initiate contact any more. If he wants to be with you he will make that clear, if he lets you walk away, he does not and you should not waste any more time on him. Good luck! 1
Author countrygrl26 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 My advice is to sit him down next time you see him and say something along the lines of: 'I really enjoyed getting to know you and had fun. But I am looking for a serious relationship and it does not look like you are looking for the same thing. No hard feelings, but if you don't want to be exclusive with me, than I am going to continue my search. Good luck to you.' And then you walk away and don't initiate contact any more. If he wants to be with you he will make that clear, if he lets you walk away, he does not and you should not waste any more time on him. Good luck! thank you for the advice, Im thinking this is exactly what needs to be done. After thinking hard about it.. 2 months I feel is long enough to figure out what you want to be with someone. I do want something serious and I told him this from the beginning, now I just feel as if im definitely getting strung along. Esp with his actions when we are together. Even though I do really like him and its going to suck to watch him let me walk away.. I guess its what I have to do. Im just so nervous to even talk about it.
heartshaped Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 He's already told you he isn't ready for a serious relationship. I don't know what more you want him to say. If you are looking for something serious you need to next him. 1
mammasita Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 His actions are telling you all you need to know. He doesn't want to be tied down. If you want to be a friend with benefits - roll with the punches and have fun. If you want more - run for the hills, because he won't give it to you! 1
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