Why would someone you briefly dated like your facebook statuses/updates?

[Nikki Sahagin]

I dated a guy for a short while. Things were very hot and heavy between us until he said it wasn't good timing for him. We never officially ended what we 'had' but neither of us mind any other arrangements to meet.

 

Since then it's been silence from both of us for a month.

 

Then recently he has begun liking my updates almost every day.

 

What are your thoughts on why a guy/girl you had briefly dated would do this?

 

1) Passive way of communicating

2) Just a friendly like

3) No reason whatsoever - a like is a like

 

I FEEL there is something more to it BUT I THINK that I am overanalysing as the human brain tends to do.

 

Wondered what the consensus was.

[Emilia]

He could be feeling his way around to see whether he could warm you up for sex or maybe he doesn't want to be a stranger. I keep in touch with guys I briefly dated when we have some shared means of communication like facebook. It's weird to be stranger with someone I was involved with. Occasionally it leads to further hook ups but usually it doesn't.

[beach]

It means nothing if he's not willing to call you and ask you out on a date.

[TheGuard13]

Because...they like your status update?

[Nikki Sahagin]

It means nothing if he's not willing to call you and ask you out on a date.

 

The thing is by this point I'm pretty sure what we had has fizzled out. I'd be happy for us to be friends as we were before, but just couldn't gather whether I should assume it was friendly or not.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Because...they like your status update?

 

Haha - the third option.

 

I just found it odd as he only liked my updates before when we were seeing each other. When we stopped talking, I never had any notifications from him (which makes sense). Now they've started up again with frequency and I found it odd. I never purposely like an ex (or anyone in that categories) status or photos as I simply don't look.

[beach]

You're making a big deal out of no effort from him.

 

IF he intended to date you - he would call.

[beach]

Maybe he thinks if he shows very little effort - you would still have sex with him...?

[Nikki Sahagin]

You're making a big deal out of no effort from him.

 

IF he intended to date you - he would call.

 

I'm not talking about dating beach.

(Refer to above post) I would be quite happy to be friends.

I just wondered what the general consensus was amongst the forum.

People use FB differently.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Maybe he thinks if he shows very little effort - you would still have sex with him...?

 

It is a possibility. I believe the forum calls it breadcrumbs.

[beach]

I'm not talking about dating beach.

(Refer to above post) I would be quite happy to be friends.

I just wondered what the general consensus was amongst the forum.

People use FB differently.

 

My friends call me - some call every day!

 

Is he calling each day?

[beach]

It is a possibility. I believe the forum calls it breadcrumbs.

 

It's not even bread crumbs! He has made NO effort except to press a little button...

[Nikki Sahagin]

My friends call me - some call every day!

 

Is he calling each day?

 

I don't speak with my friends all day, every day, but then I am quite introverted.

 

And no he hasn't. You seem quite antagonistic beach. I only asked a simply question. I am well aware a 'like' isn't exactly shouting through a megaphone asking 'hey, wanna talk?'

 

I simply asked what (if any) motivations people think about when an ex partner/flame etc begins liking everything they do. You answered your point that it's nothing, and that is that.

[MissBee]

I dated a guy for a short while. Things were very hot and heavy between us until he said it wasn't good timing for him. We never officially ended what we 'had' but neither of us mind any other arrangements to meet.

 

Since then it's been silence from both of us for a month.

 

Then recently he has begun liking my updates almost every day.

 

What are your thoughts on why a guy/girl you had briefly dated would do this?

 

1) Passive way of communicating

2) Just a friendly like

3) No reason whatsoever - a like is a like

 

I FEEL there is something more to it BUT I THINK that I am overanalysing as the human brain tends to do.

 

Wondered what the consensus was.

 

With such little info it doesn't make sense to over analyze is my rule. If someone is reaching out and it is so obscure that I can't tell, I leave it alone . If you want to speak to me, speak to me directly. I don't have time to decode cryptic behaviors like you liking my status. Who knows why he is doing it...it could be for one of those reasons listed, but you cannot be sure, so I'd not worry about it.

[Nikki Sahagin]

With such little info it doesn't make sense to over analyze is my rule. If someone is reaching out and it is so obscure that I can't tell, I leave it alone . If you want to speak to me, speak to me directly. I don't have time to decode cryptic behaviors like you liking my status. Who knows why he is doing it...it could be for one of those reasons listed, but you cannot be sure, so I'd not worry about it.

 

Thanks Bee.

Yes, I never respond to things like 'likes' or 'pokes' because it is to me, such passive and nonsensical communication. Well...it's not communication at all. But social media definitely adds a nuance to friendships that is quite bizzare! My rule is, if someone doesn't make an effort in my real life, then it doesn't mean anything. Facebook is as real as the sims or world of warcraft lol

[crederer]

Any likes or comments I make on facebook are purely because I like what was said. The ironic thing is, the ex's I've had I purposely avoid commenting or liking their status because I don't want to give them that satisfaction/avoid embarassing myself by having them think too much into it lol!!

[Nikki Sahagin]

Any likes or comments I make on facebook are purely because I like what was said. The ironic thing is, the ex's I've had I purposely avoid commenting or liking their status because I don't want to give them that satisfaction/avoid embarassing myself by having them think too much into it lol!!

 

Thanks crederer Yes, I also avoid doing the same for the exact same reasons.

[beach]

What if a like is just that? ...someone liking a post - all it takes is pushing a button- not much effort.

 

I only give merit to folks in my life that make effort by communicating - which means calling, writing out words (email these days or text) or even better seeing me.

 

The push of a button means absolutely nothing to me.

[Lemonitaz]

I'd say he probably just either wants to be friends, or is trying to reopen the lines of communication for potential FWB. Maybe after the month long hiatus in communication, he feels it is less awkward now to try to start up a friendship. Since you said there was no closure to your situation, I'd say maybe he didn't really know what to say/do after it fizzled out.

 

But I agree with the others who say that if his only means of attempting contact with you is through FB then probably not worth thinking about, overanalyzing. If he CALLS you to hang out again, then it's time to overanalyze.

[emva07]

idk how it works between romantic relationships but I know that I have friends that I haven't talked to in years who post something along the lines of "I just got my Masters!" or "I'm in Paris!" or "I won the lottery!" so I will like that status because I genuinely like that status, that doesn't mean, "call me later tonight"

 

I'd say it's the same for someone I dated....if things ended amicably, I will like the fact that they just won the lottery, lol. Obviously I won't go "like" happy but for big things, I will like.