Wife cheated, Trying to make it work

[oldshirt]

I'm aware of this. It's still sensationalist, conjectural and biologically impossible, given the timeframe of the A given by the OP.

 

Perhaps.

 

Perhaps it's unnecessarily graphic and over the top to be of therapeutic quality... but this ain't therapy. This is just some regular Joes offering thoughts and opinions on the information given.

 

In this case the OP's wife had a sustained affair he is basically asking how he can help his wife deal with HER feelings. He is also basically saying he is trying to sweep everything under the rug and put his head in the sand and wait for everything to pass over and for this to all go away and for life to magically return to yesteryear.

 

It may be harsh and painful to point out that his wife was probably walking around his house and making small talk with him while some other man's sperm was dripping out of her but it is a crucial point of any BS to realize what it is that is taking place and determine if they truly even want to put in the time and energy and effort to try make an honest and sincere forgiveness and to continue the marriage and try to make it work.

 

Mr Big is not showing signs of trying to make any honest and sincere forgiveness here. He is just trying to sweep it under the rug and wish for things to be the way they were.

 

It's the therapist's job to work on the actual steps of recovery and follow the established textbooks on reconciliation following an affair.

 

as internet forum posters we don't do therapy, we offer just a few things. One is an empathetic shoulder to cry on and to victim puke to. the other is to offer some advice (which people can either choose to take or to ignore) based on our own experiences and perspectives. and the third is to offer a 3rd party reality check for those that are simply not seeing the forest because of the trees.

 

It may be harsh and painful to hear at times but some times your real friends are the ones that come right out and tell you there is a bugger hanging from your nose.

[jnj express]

Hey oldshirt---very nicely said----bottom line---if you read thru most threads on most sites----you will see that all those who tried to "NICE" THIER WAY INTO a R, and ENDING OF THE A---most of them got nowhere----you MUST be hard about this, unfortunately harsh works, a lot more than nice---if you have to be graphic then you be graphic----YOU USE WHATEVER TOOLS YOU NEED TO USE---if graphic language is part of it---then it gets used----there is nothing sensationalist about this---it is nothing more than trying wake up a fogged up betrayed spouse, who is getting his/her head handed to him/her

 

If there are those who don't like hearing/reading it---c'est la vie----ignore the post---

[Sub]

I don't have a problem with being harsh, doing the tough love thing. I agree with it. When you start just making up scenarios, though, for the sake of making a BS confront the issue----SHE HAS HIS SEED INSIDE HER!!!!---I don't see how that's healthy. With everything else that goes into dealing with a WS - the betrayal, the insecurity, etc. - why make him deal with things that may not even be remotely accurate? Seriously, the guy made one post with relatively little info.

[jnj express]

Hey sub---if they had sex and and he finished inside of her---she has his seed inside of her---what's the difference how you say it---IT IS WHAT IT IS

[drifter777]

OP was a hit-and-run so why are we keeping this dead thread alive? Start a new thread if you have something to discuss.

[road]

I'm aware of this. It's still sensationalist, conjectural and biologically impossible, given the timeframe of the A given by the OP.

 

 

 

It more sensational and conjectural that you think when the OM orgasmed that nothing came out into his WW.