David-H Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I met a girl 4 months ago now and started a long-distance relationship. We met up a few weeks later for a week, it was amazing we both were besotted BUT she did admit she could be cold/unemotional at times, which kind of threw me as at times she would act, well cold, but then like a kid in love. We said bye then kept constant contact everyday texting etc until I saw her again 3 weeks later. This time for 12 days. It was now even more hot and cold, I was now pulling more than her but she promised she was coming to see me soon after, and promised she would be honest and not mess me around. Those weeks after turned into a month and a half, she avoided questions about her coming to see me and eventually it became clear she wanted out. One day she said I text too much and not wanting to look a fool I said that's ok. And from her Facebook page she is now flirting a lot with her ex of 5 years. I have not contacted her since, this was nearly 3 weeks ago. I was so hurt as she never actually said it was over, not obviously having the guts to be honest with me but just struggling to understand how I could be hurt after such a short time. I feel she was one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever seen and I am now thinking I will never have that again and it makes me regret, wish I did things different and wonder if I will ever be with anyone who I liked so much! Yes it is obvious I am insecure, probably have low self esteem and I am putting this girl on a massive pedestal because of it! But what is the best way to move forward? I still have her on Facebook and yesterday she started 'liking' something on my timeline. All I am doing now is wanting to move on but if I completely delete her will it not be stupid after such a short time, or will it help me to forget and move on? I have blocked all her stories so I don't now see anything she does, but still when I am on there it's like a constant contact carrying on, I know she may see me online etc. She was in all honesty never very nice to me, never honest, never thoughtful or caring. I am a good looking guy but with obvious problems with my own self as I think I am/was desiring this girl based on her looks and the fact she was making herself so unavailable! I just want to move on, stop constantly thinking of her, it's not a nice place to be, thinking I will never find someone like her again (which sounds crazy after what I have said). I think she represented my dream girl, I had the possibility hanging there and feel it's gone. I think I was more infatuated/obsessed rather than in love but this doesn't help the feelings go away. My stomach has been pretty much churning for the past month or so as I think I knew what was coming and I have a very anxious personality which does not help. I just so much want her out of my head and to move on. What can I do to help move forward...
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 The point of NC is self preservation. You get away from the other person & things that remind you of them to give yourself time to heal. If you still see her on FB, you aren't getting her off your mind, are you? Think of it like a scab. Everytime you pick a scab, it bleeds & then takes longer to heal. Every time you see a past romantic partner, you miss them & don't heal emotionally. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 go no contact. she is no good for you.
Author David-H Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 I think I am doing well so far, gone no contact for 3 weeks but she is now liking stuff on my Facebook page so she is either taking the p***, getting a kick out of it or trying to get me to contact, but that's not happening. I've made myself look like a fool too much chasing her when I've now found she has no intention of going forward. Just hate how she strung me along saying how much she misses me, pretending to arrange meeting up etc then just cuts me off. Think as said above I need to get rid of anything that keeps her in mind, so taking her off fb is probably the best thing to do. Even though I still hold out hope she wants it to continue, but think that's long gone now.
Confusedguy81 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I'd remove her from your facebook. It will be less stressful and one less thing to hang on to that relates to her.
Recommended Posts