dreamingoftigers Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 How do you reconcile your beliefs that cheating wives should be divorced immediately with the fact you forgave your own cheating husband? Funny how you see that I said "cheating wives should be divorced immediately." I didn't say that. I gave a bunch of reasons and personal advice for doing the 180 right away so that OP would not be pandering to save his marriage if he chose to still try to save it. Where did I gather that from? From trying the "pandering/we can with this out/hugs and kisses/why did this happen/we'll get through this" attempts for about two years. Then I got tired of bring kicked in the face and laughed at for my efforts. So I basically said and acted "okay, fine dear, you know how I feel about the marriage but I'm not bashing my head against a brick wall anymore" and I started to move on using the 180. The results were almost instant. My husband and I weren't even in the same city anymore and the change was that quick. I backed off. He worked up to the line and seemed much happier to do so. I do think that OP should let this one go though. Their marriage is very young and there are no children involved. My daughter was the biggest reason for my trying to reignite the marriage. I don't regret it and she's very happy to have her father around full-time. I also acknowledge that there are historical and mental health issues that both my husband and I need to work through. We have tremendous incentive to do so. Whereas OP need not go through the hardship of trying to reconcile with a spouse whom he doesn't have children with who isn't remotely repentant and is still playing the "confused" card.
Spectre Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 (edited) Start asking her out on dates and courting her again. Tell her you will never again bring up the affair as long as she will give you another chance. Never stop paying her attention. Treat her like the other man did. Make sure she knows how much you love her and how grateful you are to her for giving you a second chance. I am afraid I am a bit confused. Ignoring everything else, in what world is it a good idea for him to tell her how grateful he is she gave him another chance? You seriously just said he should tell her how grateful he is she gave him another chance after SHE cheated on him? That is a joke, right? Since that isn't just you playing devils advocate or anything, that just flat out makes no damn sense unless it is a joke. Edited November 18, 2013 by Spectre 1
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