greenfairie Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 It's been over a year since we broke up but six months since we talked. I really miss him. I have a new boyfriend now and I feel like it's not fair to have these thoughts of missing my ex and longing for him at times..
Fufu Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 2 options: Leave your new bf and give yourself more time to heal. or Start focusing on your new relationship with your new bf. Past is past, you are living in the present now. 3
Author greenfairie Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 When I'm with my ex bf, he is all I focus on not my ex…. but right now, he's out of the country right now and I think that might have triggered me to think about my ex boyfriend so much more lately now… No idea why though. 1
OpheliaSong Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 When I'm with my ex bf, he is all I focus on not my ex…. but right now, he's out of the country right now and I think that might have triggered me to think about my ex boyfriend so much more lately now… No idea why though. Maybe now that your bf is out of the country, you aren't as busy or emotionally engaged so your mind and heart is wandering back to when you had your ex in your life. This is tough stuff. I hope you find some peace with this.
Author greenfairie Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Maybe now that your bf is out of the country, you aren't as busy or emotionally engaged so your mind and heart is wandering back to when you had your ex in your life. This is tough stuff. I hope you find some peace with this. You're probably right. I won't be seeing my bf for another month and half…. I felt okay in general before I started dating him, I kept busy but I did start dating him WHEN i started school and now my focus is more on my studies and looking for a job isn't easy for me right now…. But now, I just feel really sad a lot of the times and SO jealous every time I look at a couple. I also find myself craving to go make out with a random cute guy because I can't stand to be alone. I feel horrible because my ex's out of the country too
love1336x Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Maybe your new boyfriend is lacking something that you want... I know when I had a new relationship, i thought about my ex A LOT, but that's because I was unhappy with my new relationship. In a way I sorta "down graded" from the ex... plus I kept comparing, and comparing. It was AWFUL! I dunno if you should break up with the new guy... I say keep giving him a try... and if you feel it's too much then break it off until you are completely healed. 2
lovelylilly Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 plus I kept comparing, and comparing. It was AWFUL! I kept comparing my new boyfriend to my ex too, it was weird because the new guy was so much better. After the new guy and I broke up though, I have slowly come to realize it's the ex that I want . Don't compare, stop yourself when you do it. It's not fair to the other person. How would you like it if someone did that to you? I know it would make me feel awful. If you can see your relationship going somewhere, I would stay with the new guy, but if you truly think you aren't over your ex and find yourself wanting to get back together with your ex, then it's only fair to let the new guy go. And if you do, explain this to him. It's also not fair to just leave without any explanation.
Author greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 I kept comparing my new boyfriend to my ex too, it was weird because the new guy was so much better. After the new guy and I broke up though, I have slowly come to realize it's the ex that I want . Don't compare, stop yourself when you do it. It's not fair to the other person. How would you like it if someone did that to you? I know it would make me feel awful. If you can see your relationship going somewhere, I would stay with the new guy, but if you truly think you aren't over your ex and find yourself wanting to get back together with your ex, then it's only fair to let the new guy go. And if you do, explain this to him. It's also not fair to just leave without any explanation. Yeah, comparison just is the death of everything. I see there's something in my new bf that keeps me wanting to stay. I don't know if he's someone I'm capable of loving but for now, he's great company and he's a really awesome friend too. I did share with him about how I think about my ex at times and am not really sure if I'm fully healed from that since I just started to learn how to be happy on my own… Once I learned, that's when I first met my new bf… Maybe this is just assign for me to tell me to let go of my ex… I know I can never get back with my ex even though HE is the one I want and would be willing to try out things again but he has a new girlfriend and a whole new life. He's already moved on from me so I can't just break up with my new bf and sit around, waiting for another guy. It sounds weird but that's the best way I can put it
Author greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 My new bf told me he respected how I felt and that I actually helped him get over his ex… I mean I don't know if that's a good thing? Does that mean I'm a rebound?
lovelylilly Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 ...but he has a new girlfriend and a whole new life. He's already moved on from me so I can't just break up with my new bf and sit around, waiting for another guy. It sounds weird but that's the best way I can put it I think this is what you need to be focusing on when you think about your ex. Stop worrying so much, I know it's hard and I do it myself, but let the little things go and focus on being happy. Don't get stuck in a rut, I did that to myself and now I'm struggling to get out of it. Is there anything you and your new guy can do together, possibly go on a weekend trip or visit a zoo, amusement park, etc...? Get away so you two can focus on being together and have fun. Trust me, it will take your mind off things.
Author greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 I think this is what you need to be focusing on when you think about your ex. Stop worrying so much, I know it's hard and I do it myself, but let the little things go and focus on being happy. Don't get stuck in a rut, I did that to myself and now I'm struggling to get out of it. Is there anything you and your new guy can do together, possibly go on a weekend trip or visit a zoo, amusement park, etc...? Get away so you two can focus on being together and have fun. Trust me, it will take your mind off things. My new guy lives in another country…. He's currently waiting on his VISA and we're meeting in New York in a few months…. I definitely do feel like I'm stuck in a rut.. I wasn't in a rut until he left to go back home, ahhhh. You're right, something needs to change.
Author greenfairie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 Any more input would be totally appreciated.
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