ConfusedInOC Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by KissMyTiara SOOOOOOOO true. This is an ASSISTANCE SITE, yet OWL attempts to use it as his own moral woah-is-me soapbox. Self-righteous to the extreme indeed! Puey! If you came here expecting everyone to coddle you, to agree with you and to tell you you're right - uhh, I've got some bad news for you. Some of us use common sense and it's becoming readily apparent that you are using little, if any, common sense in your approach to dating if this is indeed your second relationship with a MM. Also, you do NOT believe in God if you believe there is nothing wrong with dating a MM. GOD STRICTLY FORBIDS IT. The kids example is right on!! The last thing you do with a child you is scared or has been bad is chastise them. Do you have kids? If not, you have no clue what you're talking about. While I do support others, offer advise, and question people's motives for posting their comments to others (specially, to Owl), I DARE you to find a post where I tell someone else that they have done something WRONG. Who am I to judge?! For all you God-fearing-quoting-toting folks out there spouting off about this crap, y'all should know that YOU are not the judge of me, as I am not of you. God will be the judge of you, KMT. Not I, not anyone else. And the hell you are going through now is proof positive if you play with fire, you WILL get burned.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 Confused - you sound like a member of some satanic cult or something. Like I said, your comments fall on deaf ears.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Didn't I tell you that you could stop spouting off about God, OVER and OVER? Or are YOU expecting different results?
izzybelle Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 quote: Originally posted by ConfusedInOC The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Didn't I tell you that you could stop spouting off about God, OVER and OVER? Or are YOU expecting different results?
meanon Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Confused, you are judging KMT. So far you've suggested she is using no common sense, questioned her sanity, her religious beliefs and told her she is deluded. Those are judgements. We had a thread recently which asked us to consider whether we were posting to preach or to engage: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t45340/ You stand a much better chance of helping someone if you get off your soap box long enough to reach them. We should not expect agreement, but I think it is reasonable to expect the basics of respect: to be listened to and not derided.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 Izzybelle - do I sense a giggle outta you?
ConfusedInOC Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by meanon Confused, you are judging KMT. So far you've suggested she is using no common sense, questioned her sanity, her religious beliefs and told her she is deluded. Those are judgements. We had a thread recently which asked us to consider whether we were posting to preach or to engage: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t45340/ You stand a much better chance of helping someone if you get off your soap box long enough to reach them. We should not expect agreement, but I think it is reasonable to expect the basics of respect: to be listened to and not derided. No, I think what you want is everything sugar coated. I got advice here the hard way and I am not complaining. Why are you? I realize people come here for support but if you're making the same mistake twice you obviously aren't taking any advice. You've just come here for solace. I said I wouldn't be the judge of her, that's for God to decide. But hey, if she wants to beat her head up against the wall fooling around with married men and she doesn't mind paying the price then quit whining about it and move along. It's ridiculous to complain about not getting enough time with an MM/MW. You're not supposed to have ANY time with someone else's spouse...
ConfusedInOC Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by KissMyTiara Confused - you sound like a member of some satanic cult or something. Like I said, your comments fall on deaf ears. Oh, you mean much like the common sense advice you are given.... it's falling on YOUR DEAF EARS. You just continue to beat your little head against the wall and make the same silly mistakes over and over. Don't cry/whine/complain about it because you really don't want advice, you just want sympathy. Grow up, dust yourself off and go find a decent man of your own. Stop messing around with married men and your problems will go away. Moderator's Note: There's a fine line between offering well-meant if hard-nosed advice, and being condescending and unsympathetic. I've struggled to pinpoint where the line was crossed in this thread, and I think I've found it here: repeating over and over to someone that they're just getting what they deserve helps... who?
ConfusedInOC Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by KissMyTiara Didn't I tell you that you could stop spouting off about God, OVER and OVER? Or are YOU expecting different results? It's no wonder you are having issues. Nobody is "spouting" off about God. Far from it. Several people have tried many different avenues to get you to understand that you have a problem that you have failed to address. You aren't taking any responsibility for your actions and instead of solving the problem (ending relationships with married men) you come here for moral support. You're not thinking logically....
izzybelle Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 KMT - that was more than just a giggle! thanks, i needed that today! izzy
immoralist Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 Do any of you have as hard of a time going into and experiencing the weekends as I do? Weekend involve little to no contact (and I get a lecture if I do call on the weekend), and the lack of connection for 2 days every week just kills me. That was the Thread starter. A simple question, really. kmt loves a guy who's married and misses him terribly on weekends when she does not have an opportunity to be with him. There are two basic ways to go: empathize with kmt's loneliness or offer no sympathy because kmt is canoodling another woman's husband. Both are acceptable. What's not acceptable are ultra-religious or fixated anti-adultery fanatics who, through repeated, nasty, attack posts seek to assault kmt and hijack this Thread for their own personal, religious and moralistic reasons. If these shouters want to rail against adultery let them start their own Threads where they can sneer and berate all those lost souls who dare show a dollop of compassion for a woman who misses her lover on the weekends. Start your own Threads, boys, you'll get the posters you deserve.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 Thank you, Immoralist. I'm always amazed at how those who are hurting and start a thread ultimately find their thread hijacked and face personal attacks.
SoleMate Posted December 22, 2004 Posted December 22, 2004 kmt, did you notice that I actually answered your questions and offered specific advice on how to get through the weekends, as you requested? Crazy, I know...
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 22, 2004 Author Posted December 22, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate kmt, did you notice that I actually answered your questions and offered specific advice on how to get through the weekends, as you requested? Crazy, I know... Yes, I did, and thank you. You were one of 3, I believe.
Bubbles Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 I think immoralist got rid of the hijackers........thank goodnes!!!! bubbles
immoralist Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 To the contrary, Bubbles, it was you who fired the first, and best, salvo. I merely tagged along.
hotgurl Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 oh oh "raises hand" I offered advice too. I still think it would help to do something like a class on the weekends. or what cheers me up is a shopping bindge. i love shoes. Do you have children or family nearby?
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 23, 2004 Author Posted December 23, 2004 Originally posted by hotgurl oh oh "raises hand" I offered advice too. I still think it would help to do something like a class on the weekends. or what cheers me up is a shopping bindge. i love shoes. Do you have children or family nearby? Yep, you did. Shopping binges have been easy lately, what with the holidays and allathat. Shoes? Ha! I bought two pairs for myself yesterday while "shopping for my mom." But then again, it really doesn't take heartache to encourage me to shop... Nope, I don't have kids. I'm 27, young, and single in the OC. Closest family is in Northern California, but I do have some very good, close friends nearby, and work, exercise, and social time does fill my time. But even so, no matter what I do, whether it's going for a jog, playing tennis, watching a movie, cocktailing with friends, or buying a new pair of Prada pumps, he is always on my mind...and I never have ANY idea what he's doing, because he always just says "I have so much S--- to do this weekend," without embellishing. Argh.
ConfusedInOC Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 Tell me why she deserves "compassion." January 9, 2005 Moderator's Note: She deserves compassion because she has started a thread trying to discuss her problems. Many views are welcome, provided they are respectfully couched and are responding to what she is saying in this thread. The original poster has repeated, several times, that the perspective you are offering is irrelevant in her mind. As others have observed, sometimes you need to let go ... even if you're convinced that you're right. If a poster cannot hear what you have to say, you must recognize the futility in persisting, and also the hostility you're generating by doing so. Having expressed yourself multiple times, what more can you do? We all must recognize that some people will not be able to hear what we have to say. However unfortunate that might be, it does no good to hound them. At some point the line is crossed from adamantly holding a position because you think it has merit, and insisting that others continue to correspond with you until they convert to your way of thinking. The latter is inappropriate. The rest of the original comments in this post are being deleted. The only reason the post in its entirety isn't being deleted is so the issue of relentless badgering with "advice" can be addressed.
Leaf Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 lol! I just bought myself 2 new pairs of Ugh Boots... lol!
izzybelle Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 shoes? boots? when i feel down, i end up at victoria's secret! needless to say, i'm there a lot of weekends! but shopping does help until i get the dreaded bills. ugh!
hotgurl Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 kmt, I know what you mean in the beganing of the relationship when my bf & I were apart it was like a physical pain and I couldn't distract myself. I was a lovesick puppy. Happiness is a closet full of shoe or victoria secrets.
hotgurl Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 one day when I have a phat pay check I will have a pair of manlo blancs (sp?)
rtobiejr Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 All moral issues aside... if you're in a "relationship" with somebody who's married, you're going to have lonely weekends. Goes with the territory. Plus, keep in mind that they will be celebrating Christmas, Valentine's Day, Fourth of July/Canada Day, Father's Day/Mother's Day, Easter, etc. with their spouse. What's that leave for you? Flag Day. Arbor Day, whatever that is. May Day. Congolese Independence Day. Yee-hah. Honestly, now... is it REALLY worth it? Why not find somebody who can be yours all the time? Just my $0.02. lol i agree...who wants arbor day?
rtobiejr Posted December 23, 2004 Posted December 23, 2004 Originally posted by hotgurl one day when I have a phat pay check I will have a pair of manlo blancs (sp?) manolo blahniks, dear.
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