ConfusedInOC Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by izzybelle ok....so following the line of thought that you presented.... if she's getting what she deserves for her relationship with an MM why do people get hurt in relationships that don't involve affairs? I don't confess to know all of what God does. I can only say that adultery is a sin that God said would carry repercussions. and why do people get cancer? and why do other bad things happen? never had much use for that sense of logic. and you know....that's one of those guilt things that ticks me off. my ex inlaws push it with my kids and to what end? my daughter was convinced this summer that her pets had died because she swore and god was punishing her. I can't tell you. God doesn't adress that in the bible. He does with adultery. sorry, if i believe in god....he's a whole lot nicer than the one you believe in! and since it's KMT's thread....if the comments on god punishing her aren't going to change things....there's not much point in you trying to push that side! LOL! I don't think God is mean by any means. He forgives us all when we confess our sins and ask for forgiveness. God is compassionate and loving. I don't think God is punishing her. I don't think I said that. I said God warned that if you commit the sin of adultery bad things can only come of it. I don't think God makes bad things happen. He merely says "if you do this, here's what's going to happen" in the loving way of a Father. She's getting what happens when you mess around with a married man. I don't see the reason for whining about it. You reap what you sow.
Leaf Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 God isnt punishing her.. you are. And God DOES address that in the Bible as well...
ConfusedInOC Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by Leaf Sympathy has nothing to do with this. You can have your opinions, all I said was to chill a bit. Dont instigate and push people. People in here are hurting on all sides, thats why they came here. And I gave her my advice. Drop this guy like a hot potato and go get a SINGLE man that will love and care for her the way she deserves. Or did you miss that?
ConfusedInOC Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by Leaf God isnt punishing her.. you are. And God DOES address that in the Bible as well... I am not nor am I the one who she is held accountable to.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC ...lest you wish to live the rest of your life of fallacy where you're nothing more than a MM's play toy. So are the W and H of the wayward spouse nothing more than a maid and nanny? Give me a break. Originally posted by izzybelle ok....so following the line of thought that you presented.... if she's getting what she deserves for her relationship with an MM why do people get hurt in relationships that don't involve affairs? and why do people get cancer? and why do other bad things happen? never had much use for that sense of logic. and you know....that's one of those guilt things that ticks me off. my ex inlaws push it with my kids and to what end? my daughter was convinced this summer that her pets had died because she swore and god was punishing her. sorry, if i believe in god....he's a whole lot nicer than the one you believe in! and since it's KMT's thread....if the comments on god punishing her aren't going to change things....there's not much point in you trying to push that side! Funny, I DO believe in God - the kind, ever compassionate, guiding one who lets his children make mistakes and learn from them. MY GOD does not punish.
Leaf Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Whatever.. talk in circles all you want. I just think you should just chill a bit. Realize that she is a real person with real feelings.
izzybelle Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Funny, I DO believe in God - the kind, ever compassionate, guiding one who lets his children make mistakes and learn from them. MY GOD does not punish. same here!
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC I am not nor am I the one who she is held accountable to. I am accountable to NO ONE other than myself. NO ONE, not even "God."
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 Officially, I am SO over everything that ConfusedinOC says. Dissertations on the consequences of an affair as stated in the bible are lost on me, and always will be. That said, I welcome secular comments from everyone else...even (gasp!) Owl.
Owl Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by KissMyTiara Officially, I am SO over everything that ConfusedinOC says. Dissertations on the consequences of an affair as stated in the bible are lost on me, and always will be. That said, I welcome secular comments from everyone else...even (gasp!) Owl. Won't.....do...it. Must....hold back. Biting....tongue........AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
ConfusedInOC Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by KissMyTiara So are the W and H of the wayward spouse nothing more than a maid and nanny? Give me a break. Nope. I think his actions are abhorrible at best. Funny, I DO believe in God - the kind, ever compassionate, guiding one who lets his children make mistakes and learn from them. MY GOD does not punish. God is very compassionate and forgiving. God doesn't punish you, sin does. God warns you what happens when you commit these kinds of sins. He doesn't make the punishment, the sin in and of itself does. The simple fact you're complaining about it is proof enough. Look, I don't know you and I am sure you're not a bad person. But you must know that a relationship with a MM is not meant to be. He's playing you for a fool and you're taking it. Why can't you drop this guy and find someone who can dedicate themselves to you full time? It's obvious this guy has no intention of making a choice. He wants to have his cake and eat it too and you're only feeding it to him. Good luck. Really, I don't wish anything bad on you. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have said a word. I just hate when I see people complaining about bad relationships with an OM or OW. What exactly did they expect to happen???
Owl Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 OK KMT- I held out for as long as I could...LOL Two observations- You believe in a God that lets his children learn from their own mistakes--- Have you TRULY learned from your own mistakes? If I'm not mistaken, this is the second MM you've been involved with, yes?? (I freely admit I could be wrong here...that's taken from anothe post I'd seen earlier) Have you learned to seek out healthy, positive relationships? The fact that you are currently with a MM suggests that you have not... You hold that you are responsible to no one but yourself, not even God--- I will skip the theology portion of this. So, you have no responsibility to your MM?? (case in point, if YOU brought the STD to the relationship?) What about to any possible children you may have in your future? No responsibilities at all to anyone but yourself says that you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself... So you feel that you have no responsibility for the damage you've done to his marriage (disregarding HIS responsibility for the moment...we all KNOW he's got a responsibility to his marriage)?? Would you feel that a drunk driver has no responsibility for the person that they injure or kill due to their actions? They made a self-centered decision to drive while intoxicated...you made a self-centered decision to enter into a relationship with a MM. See any parallels here? You can argue that one is nothing like the other....but show me how they're NOT the same. I KNOW you're going to blast away at this...but hopefully at the same time you'll stop and THINK about what you've said. We're ALL responsible to others around us...regardless if we 'care' about them or not. You're not excluded from that. Hehehe, remember you said you'd welcome secular comments even from me...be careful what you ask for...you may get it!! LET THE FLAMES BEGIN!!!!!!!!
Bubbles Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 O.K......I can't take this ANY-MORE! If you do not agree/symathise/empathise with what Kissmytiara is saying? - then for goodness sakes stay out of this section of LoveShack. What do you guys do?......hover around waiting for someone to post in the Other Man/Woman category just so you can pounce on them? Stop it.....just stop it! If you guys have been cheated on then I am sorry......but YOUR actions HERE are not going to change what happened to you! I have been in both situations and let me tell you ALL something! At least when I was with the MM at least I KNEW WHO he was sleeping with!!! In this day and age - I for one - do NOT beleive that anyone will stay "true" to anyone other than themselves. So what the hell is the difference? My relationship with my MM was better than ANY relatioship I had with a single man!!! Please stop this bashing......please Frustrated bubbles
immoralist Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Bubbles, you don't often post, but when you do it counts. Like you, I've seen both sides. And for the life of me, I cannot understand why some people just cannot let it go. If some folks wish to rant and rave against adultery, let them start their own threads instead of always hijacking OW threads. Give it a fu#king rest.
Bubbles Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Thank you immoralist. I am not here to tell people to cheat on their spouces I'm not here to tell people to stop mucking around with a married person I'm simply here to read and empathise/sympathise with the poster and every now and again I make an opinion. I do not like people being pounced on - it's just NOT FAIR. We are all human and we do things to make ourselves happy what-ever way we know best......if you don't agree with someone and they are NOT ASKING you to agree? KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF bubbles
Owl Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by Bubbles O.K......I can't take this ANY-MORE! If you do not agree/symathise/empathise with what Kissmytiara is saying? - then for goodness sakes stay out of this section of LoveShack. What do you guys do?......hover around waiting for someone to post in the Other Man/Woman category just so you can pounce on them? Stop it.....just stop it! If you guys have been cheated on then I am sorry......but YOUR actions HERE are not going to change what happened to you! I have been in both situations and let me tell you ALL something! At least when I was with the MM at least I KNEW WHO he was sleeping with!!! In this day and age - I for one - do NOT beleive that anyone will stay "true" to anyone other than themselves. So what the hell is the difference? My relationship with my MM was better than ANY relatioship I had with a single man!!! Please stop this bashing......please Frustrated bubbles Ohhh....I'm sorry. I must have misunderstood the rules here. I didn't realize that the only people that are supposed to post here on LS are the ones that AGREE with the original poster. I should have paid more attention to that...my bad!!! And please take note...if I were BASHING...I'd say nasty mean cruel things about someone PERSONALLY. I'd deride them as a person...not try to talk to them about their actions in a manner designed to get their attention. If you feel that MY posts don't belong here...please feel free to add me to your ignore list! You won't offend me at all by that!
Bubbles Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Owl If anyone were bashing someone PERSONALLY the Moderators on LoveShack would remove the post. If you wer'nt so angry with the verbage in your posts......I may even take you seriously. You have a self ritious attitude.....sounds like what you say must be taken as "Law" in your house; well....that does'nt work out here in the real world. Now how do you like them apples? How does MY post to YOU make YOU FEEL? Does it feel like I am agreeing with you? Does it feel like I would like to understand how YOU feel about things? Does it make you feel like going out and changing your ways? No! None of it changes you as a person. So ease up on the rest of us would you? LoveShack is an ASSISTANCE site......not a "hey that guy over there is doing something morally wrong so lets get in there and tell them that they are a bad person and put them down......that otta make them change their evil ways!" Shake your head. Do you have kids? Have you ever had to deal with a naughty child? The last thing you do is yell, hit, scream, or humiliate. Verbally?.....that's all your doing here. Funny thing......You are the only person who thought I directed my comments to YOU personally......... I am curious.......how did you come to LoveShack? bubbles
reservoirdog1 Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 All moral issues aside... if you're in a "relationship" with somebody who's married, you're going to have lonely weekends. Goes with the territory. Plus, keep in mind that they will be celebrating Christmas, Valentine's Day, Fourth of July/Canada Day, Father's Day/Mother's Day, Easter, etc. with their spouse. What's that leave for you? Flag Day. Arbor Day, whatever that is. May Day. Congolese Independence Day. Yee-hah. Honestly, now... is it REALLY worth it? Why not find somebody who can be yours all the time? Just my $0.02.
whichwayisup Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 My thoughts on this one... Anyone who takes anything to heart and personally here should not! We really don't know eachother and it just doesn't matter what others think! If one is upset and reacting than maybe something somebody said struck a nerve...meaning a guilt feeling or got angered by words. Hense, harsh lashouts and personal attacks. Owl put it well. And please take note...if I were BASHING...I'd say nasty mean cruel things about someone PERSONALLY. I'd deride them as a person...not try to talk to them about their actions in a manner designed to get their attention. Yes some do personal attacks on others, that is ego. But a good hearted heated discussion with everyone's thoughts is a good thing, opens eyes maybe? Or even could change somebody's mind and help. Who knows? Just don't take anything personally on here.
Owl Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Three guesses on how I came to LS Bubbles...you already know the answer...no rocket science required there. As to my coming across as "self-righteous"...hmmm. Maybe it's because I feel that we're all able to make our own choices...and to take responsibility for our own choices. If we choose to date a MM...we choose to take the downside of that as well. That may mean not having them available to us at certain times...that may mean that we have to realize what we're doing affects far more than just ourselves. Sadly...I really don't hold anything against anyone on this site, and if you feel that my posts say otherwise, or if anyone does...send me a PM and I'll issue you a PUBLIC apology on the post of your choosing. But I WON'T apologize for offering my opinion, whether you or anyone else agrees with it. And I WON'T apologize for making suggestions that someone quit feeling "sorry" for themselves when they've caused that pain themselves. Case in point here...KMT holds NOTHING back in voicing her opinions on other posts, and does her own share of "bashing" where she wants to point out when she feels someone has done something wrong...so I darn sure don't feel bad about providing her with that same feedback. So if you feel that my posts are intended to truly hurt...you're mistaken. If you feel that I'm posting here from some morally superior attitude...again, you're mistaken. I'm no better than anyone else...quite the contrary. What I've been trying to say is that if some dumb schmo like myself can figure it out...it should be a breeze for others. If you'd like to say anything else on the subject...take it to PM so we don't continue to hijack the thread as you mentioned earlier.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by Owl You hold that you are responsible to no one but yourself, not even God--- I will skip the theology portion of this. So, you have no responsibility to your MM?? (case in point, if YOU brought the STD to the relationship?) What about to any possible children you may have in your future? No responsibilities at all to anyone but yourself says that you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself... So you feel that you have no responsibility for the damage you've done to his marriage (disregarding HIS responsibility for the moment...we all KNOW he's got a responsibility to his marriage)?? Would you feel that a drunk driver has no responsibility for the person that they injure or kill due to their actions? They made a self-centered decision to drive while intoxicated...you made a self-centered decision to enter into a relationship with a MM. See any parallels here? You can argue that one is nothing like the other....but show me how they're NOT the same. How dare you take what I said out of context to make me look like a bad person!!! You know very well what I meant by my comment that I am responsible to no one but myself... We were having a discussion about punishment, getting just deserts, reaping what one sows, etc., as it relates to the OW's pain for choosing to be involved in an affair in the first place. AS FAR AS MY DECISION TO GET INVOLVED WITH MM AND STAY INVOLVED, THAT is where I am responsible to no one other than myself. Quit twisting my words.
Owl Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 I'm not sure how I took that out of context. Regardless...last post of mine. Enjoy your holidays all.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 21, 2004 Author Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by Bubbles Owl If anyone were bashing someone PERSONALLY the Moderators on LoveShack would remove the post. If you wer'nt so angry with the verbage in your posts......I may even take you seriously. You have a self ritious attitude.....sounds like what you say must be taken as "Law" in your house; well....that does'nt work out here in the real world. Now how do you like them apples? How does MY post to YOU make YOU FEEL? Does it feel like I am agreeing with you? Does it feel like I would like to understand how YOU feel about things? Does it make you feel like going out and changing your ways? No! None of it changes you as a person. So ease up on the rest of us would you? LoveShack is an ASSISTANCE site......not a "hey that guy over there is doing something morally wrong so lets get in there and tell them that they are a bad person and put them down......that otta make them change their evil ways!" Shake your head. Do you have kids? Have you ever had to deal with a naughty child? The last thing you do is yell, hit, scream, or humiliate. Verbally?.....that's all your doing here. Funny thing......You are the only person who thought I directed my comments to YOU personally......... I am curious.......how did you come to LoveShack? bubbles SOOOOOOOO true. This is an ASSISTANCE SITE, yet OWL attempts to use it as his own moral woah-is-me soapbox. Self-righteous to the extreme indeed! Puey! The kids example is right on!! The last thing you do with a child you is scared or has been bad is chastise them. Originally posted by Owl Case in point here...KMT holds NOTHING back in voicing her opinions on other posts, and does her own share of "bashing" where she wants to point out when she feels someone has done something wrong...so I darn sure don't feel bad about providing her with that same feedback. While I do support others, offer advise, and question people's motives for posting their comments to others (specially, to Owl), I DARE you to find a post where I tell someone else that they have done something WRONG. Who am I to judge?! For all you God-fearing-quoting-toting folks out there spouting off about this crap, y'all should know that YOU are not the judge of me, as I am not of you.
ConfusedInOC Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by Bubbles O.K......I can't take this ANY-MORE! If you do not agree/symathise/empathise with what Kissmytiara is saying? - then for goodness sakes stay out of this section of LoveShack. Uhh, so what you're saying is we're only allowed to say something if we either AGREE/SYMPATHIZE/EMPHATHIZE with her? Gee, what's the point of a forum if people are only going to tell what you want to hear all the time, not give you the advice you don't want to hear, but probably should. Why not just close up LS then? There wouldn't be any need for it. What do you guys do?......hover around waiting for someone to post in the Other Man/Woman category just so you can pounce on them? Stop it.....just stop it! No, we're just not clouded by dillusions as this isn't our relationship. I get pounced on. We all do. The reason is we NEED it sometimes. Every once in a while we need a little smack across the face to remind us that we're not thinking clearly. In Kissmytiara's case, she's complaining about not getting a MM's time over the weekend. Uhhhh, he's married. What did she expect?! The guy is playing her like a fiddle. He's getting twice the attention and giving her only half of his. This isn't rocket science we're taking about here. If you guys have been cheated on then I am sorry......but YOUR actions HERE are not going to change what happened to you! Never happened to me. I just can just see where this is going and it's not very productive. She needs to pull herself up by the boostraps and move on. She's a play toy for this guy. I have been in both situations and let me tell you ALL something! At least when I was with the MM at least I KNEW WHO he was sleeping with!!! In this day and age - I for one - do NOT beleive that anyone will stay "true" to anyone other than themselves. So what the hell is the difference? My relationship with my MM was better than ANY relatioship I had with a single man!!! That's your justification? That's the best you can come up with?! "At least I know who he's been sleeping with?!" Tell me, what happened with your relationship with your MM?? Please, enlighten us. Because you said WAS....... Please stop this bashing......please Frustrated bubbles Life sucks sometimes. We don't always want to hear the advice we need to hear. Granted, it hasn't been sugar-coated, but making up excuses and acting like you're a victim when you know you're dating a MM is just silly. Get over it. Stop the relationship. Get some SELF RESPECT back. Go find someone who cares about YOU and will dedicate themselves to you. Because otherwise, dating a MM and complaining about it is akin to buying a time share. It's not yours, you don't have it 100% of the time and you CAN NOT COMPLAIN when someone else is using it when you want it. You knew it going in, you have no one to blame but yourself.
ConfusedInOC Posted December 21, 2004 Posted December 21, 2004 Originally posted by Owl OK KMT- I held out for as long as I could...LOL Two observations- You believe in a God that lets his children learn from their own mistakes--- Have you TRULY learned from your own mistakes? If I'm not mistaken, this is the second MM you've been involved with, yes?? (I freely admit I could be wrong here...that's taken from anothe post I'd seen earlier) Have you learned to seek out healthy, positive relationships? The fact that you are currently with a MM suggests that you have not... Second one? Oh geez.... First off, if she believed in God, she would not be involving herself with married men. GOD FORBIDS IT. Secondly, if it's the second MM, it just goes to show you that she's not dealing with a full deck. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. You hold that you are responsible to no one but yourself, not even God--- I will skip the theology portion of this. So, you have no responsibility to your MM?? (case in point, if YOU brought the STD to the relationship?) What about to any possible children you may have in your future? No responsibilities at all to anyone but yourself says that you don't give a damn about anyone but yourself... So you feel that you have no responsibility for the damage you've done to his marriage (disregarding HIS responsibility for the moment...we all KNOW he's got a responsibility to his marriage)?? Would you feel that a drunk driver has no responsibility for the person that they injure or kill due to their actions? They made a self-centered decision to drive while intoxicated...you made a self-centered decision to enter into a relationship with a MM. See any parallels here? You can argue that one is nothing like the other....but show me how they're NOT the same. I KNOW you're going to blast away at this...but hopefully at the same time you'll stop and THINK about what you've said. We're ALL responsible to others around us...regardless if we 'care' about them or not. You're not excluded from that. Hehehe, remember you said you'd welcome secular comments even from me...be careful what you ask for...you may get it!! LET THE FLAMES BEGIN!!!!!!!! Amen.
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