KissMyTiara Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 Do any of you have as hard of a time going into and experiencing the weekends as I do? Weekend involve little to no contact (and I get a lecture if I do call on the weekend), and the lack of connection for 2 days every week just kills me.
indigo_moon Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 Hate to sound non-compassionate but what do you expect when you get involved with someone else's husband? Of course you're going to take second place and be tossed occasional "crumbs" and you'll spend weekends alone........... But why do you (and others in your shoes) settle for this kind of existence? Don't you get tired of it? Doesn't it seem crazy that one these weekends that you're all alone, he's no doubt with his wife (and family if he has one), sharing time and love and surely lots of sex (though he may lie to you and tell you there's "no sex")? The reason affairs cause pain is because they go against what's right and healthy.
whichwayisup Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 Try and keep yourself busy with friends and family. Do some things that make YOU feel good about you and activities that you enjoy.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 18, 2004 Author Posted December 18, 2004 Originally posted by whichwayisup Try and keep yourself busy with friends and family. Do some things that make YOU feel good about you and activities that you enjoy. Thanks WWIU. The hard part is that I am 500 miles away from the closest family, and most of my friends are married...there are only a few of us singletons left!! But I do try to keep myself busy, even if it's just working out, cleaning, and holiday shopping. MM just called at 930 am to say hello. He was running errands. On the weekends, all I get is the sneaky-sneak call...
Barby Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 So the wife never found out huh? Haven't seen you post in awhile...(I know this is from a different post) but I hope your test came out normal and that all is well for you. Now onto this post..... Of course I'm sure you knew getting involved and staying involved in a relationship with a MM would cause you to not have him around on the weekends, holidays, ect. He has to keep up his end of the love with his family as well so how would he do that if he escaped with his "mistress" on the weekends? Just like WWIU suggested, try going out with your single friends? Do something you enjoy, take in a movie, continue to shop, or pamper yourself to make yourself feel a little less bad about being alone??!
kim_mc Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 I'm a MW dating a MM and I find it difficult also on the weekends. I would rather be with him than my own hubby. We do send each other offlines when we can. This weekend was his anniversary, so I was thinking about him constantly. This entire thing has been difficult and it gets harder everyday, because I have strong feelings for this man. It's so frusterating that I can't fully give myself, my love and my heart.
izzybelle Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 i'm not with my MM anymore, but the weekends were always the worst. when he was at work, i could call. he did his best to keep in contact when he could on the weekends but it was more difficult. of course mine was also and LDR so phone and email were all we mostly had anyway. but, at least, i had my kids with me and they kept the weekends hopping so there wasn't as much time to think about him. well, i still did, but they kept me busy. heck, the weekends are still hard sometimes! there were certain times that i knew i could expect a call from him on weekends, and even though it's been months, when the clock hits those times, i still find myself thinking of him.
Nocturnalkitee Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Barby So the wife never found out huh? Haven't seen you post in awhile...(I know this is from a different post) but I hope your test came out normal and that all is well for you. I was curious about that myself. Are you two still together? Just friends, or what?
tiredofbeingtheother Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 i agree weekends suck. so do holidays. i know how you feel. when your with them you believe that they love you and want only you and then weekends come and you wonder how they could possibly love you if they would do this to you. leaving you alone. and i believe ever word that my mm tells me. i love you and i miss you and your the one i want to be with. but then when i dont see him for days i start to think damn i am crazy!! and i start thinking of leaving. and then he comes around just in time to tell me he loves me and i say nothing. i wish i could break away. lonliness sux.
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Nocturnalkitee I was curious about that myself. Are you two still together? Just friends, or what? I fell off the wagon.
Leaf Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 I hated the weekends as well. Nothing more humiliating and depressing than KNOWING that he is off having a groovy time with the fam, and you are sitting there for 2 days stewing.
Squid Jigger Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Easy ladies. You'll have your time with your man when his other priorities are taken care of. And don't think he's having a wonderful time with the wife and kiddies. He is thinking of you all the time. Trust me. He's feeling major anxiety and guilt too. And chances are you are much more attractive and sexier than his wife too so physically it's no picnic there either. Go buy yourself some nasty little panties and a bra that lets your nipples hang out and get ready for some great sex. Soon. No, I don't know when. But when he gets a chance. Baby, you know I mean it.
Barby Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 He's feeling major anxiety and guilt too. And chances are you are much more attractive and sexier than his wife too so physically it's no picnic there either. How in the world do you know this? If he had such "apprehension" and "anxiety" and didn't want to be with his "not as sexy as you" wife then why in the h*ll wouldn't he leave her and be full time with his "OW" Go buy yourself some nasty little panties and a bra that lets your nipples hang out and get ready for some great sex. Soon. No, I don't know when. But when he gets a chance. Baby, you know I mean it. That is the most disgusting bit of advice I've ever heard! Where did this even come from? They were discussing their lack of time with MM on the weekend not "great sex" how lame!
Squid Jigger Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Barby baby. Chill. The OW just need to understand their place in the world. Nasty panties and sweet little bras make everyone happy. It's true. and of course the little wifey is not sexy or attractive . That's why he's got some better tasting p**sy on the side. Gee , I would have thought evryone was clear on the concept.
Pocky Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Weekend involve little to no contact (and I get a lecture if I do call on the weekend), and the lack of connection for 2 days every week just kills me. When you going to stop treating yourself this way, KMT?
Barby Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Squid Jigger Barby baby. Chill. The OW just need to understand their place in the world. Nasty panties and sweet little bras make everyone happy. It's true. and of course the little wifey is not sexy or attractive . That's why he's got some better tasting p**sy on the side. Gee , I would have thought evryone was clear on the concept. Understanding their "place" or not, you're very disgusting and need to watch how you word things, GAWD didn't your mother teach you any manners?
Author KissMyTiara Posted December 20, 2004 Author Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Pocky When you going to stop treating yourself this way, KMT? Perhaps I'll make a New Year's Resolution...?? Either way, I've put an internal deadline on all of these shenanigans that I have let myself get wrapped up in. (Right now we're all wrapped up in gifts and declarations and cuddling by the fire and all of this ridiculous romance...) Ok, see, there will be no ultimatum, but large hints. If he doesn't take the hint and make a change by my unilaterally set internal deadline (that he doesn't know about), then I'm gone. But until then, the weekends are still REALLY going to suck. (Mind you, just as I was writing the original post to this forum, he called, we talked for a while. Then he called again that day, and again, and again yesterday, and we had "breakfast" this morning... So, it didn't suck too bad afterall!)
Squid Jigger Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Barby, what my mother taught me among other things is that how I word things is completely up to me and it is other peo[ple who must watch how they react to how I word things. Cheating is inherently a tawdry business. It entails a lack of respect for the spouse. That said I'm gonna go get me some.
ConfusedInOC Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by indigo_moon Hate to sound non-compassionate but what do you expect when you get involved with someone else's husband? Of course you're going to take second place and be tossed occasional "crumbs" and you'll spend weekends alone........... Couldn't have said it better myself, save maybe use of the word "KARMA." There are plenty of great, single guys out there. If you're whining about how you're being treated by someone else's husband....you're getting what you deserve.
ConfusedInOC Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Squid Jigger Barby, what my mother taught me among other things is that how I word things is completely up to me and it is other peo[ple who must watch how they react to how I word things. Cheating is inherently a tawdry business. It entails a lack of respect for the spouse. That said I'm gonna go get me some. I think you lack respect for yourself as well to continue to be an OW.
Moose Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 KMT, I'm usually pretty hard on cheaters. I'm learning to keep some of my thoughts and opinions to myself, but I have a suggestion for you and maybe other cheaters out there so maybe you can get a better perspective on things. I've noticed that most OW stay faithfull to their MM, and I have to question you as to why? Really, he's cheating on his wife during the week, then you're alone on the weekends. Why not find you someone to occupy your weekends, (preferably someone single), and let the MM know that you are. If he can't deal with you seeing someone on the side, maybe he should re-evaluate seeing you on the side, and hopefully the outcome would be that you dump the sorry cheater, and start a healthy relationship with your weekend boy toy? Just a suggestion.....I'm sure your MM won't mind........RIGHT!
Owl Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 I just don't get it... How is it that OW/OM can deal with knowing that their MM/MW is living this seperate, "fake" life with them at all? How do you handle with knowing that you're whole relationship with this other person is based on the lies that they tell and maintain with their spouses? I can't imagine what it must be like for you all, knowing that you just get a portion of that person's life. LOL...at least us betrayed spouses are left in the dark about it for the most part...we know something is missing, but we are, for that period of time, unaware of the lies and dual nature of our wandering spouses. What must it be like for the OW/OM to KNOW about those lies, and still go on about your life like your relationship with this person is normal when they're with you, and act like that relationship doesn't exist when they're not?
ConfusedInOC Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Moose KMT, I'm usually pretty hard on cheaters. I'm learning to keep some of my thoughts and opinions to myself, but I have a suggestion for you and maybe other cheaters out there so maybe you can get a better perspective on things. I've noticed that most OW stay faithfull to their MM, and I have to question you as to why? Really, he's cheating on his wife during the week, then you're alone on the weekends. Why not find you someone to occupy your weekends, (preferably someone single), and let the MM know that you are. If he can't deal with you seeing someone on the side, maybe he should re-evaluate seeing you on the side, and hopefully the outcome would be that you dump the sorry cheater, and start a healthy relationship with your weekend boy toy? Just a suggestion.....I'm sure your MM won't mind........RIGHT! Moose, you're dead on with your advice. I mean, if she's going to date a MM, why not get a regular BF on the side so that she can make her MM jealous? ROFL! The irony is hilarious. I, like you, have very little sympathy for cheaters. God laid it out for us and the misery we experience for immorality He fully warned us about. I am not here to "preach" or be "high and mighty." I guess you could say I am pointing out the obvious. Call me Dick Tracy or whatever, I just think if you're doing immoral things such as sleeping with a married man, the last thing you should be able to do is whine about it.
Moose Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 Originally posted by Owl I just don't get it... How is it that OW/OM can deal with knowing that their MM/MW is living this seperate, "fake" life with them at all? How do you handle with knowing that you're whole relationship with this other person is based on the lies that they tell and maintain with their spouses? I can't imagine what it must be like for you all, knowing that you just get a portion of that person's life. LOL...at least us betrayed spouses are left in the dark about it for the most part...we know something is missing, but we are, for that period of time, unaware of the lies and dual nature of our wandering spouses. What must it be like for the OW/OM to KNOW about those lies, and still go on about your life like your relationship with this person is normal when they're with you, and act like that relationship doesn't exist when they're not? I think it's because the OM/OW convince themselves that their MM/MW is totally unhappy and lacking in their marriages, even though I would think 9 times out of 10 that it is pure BS. But some people are niave and don't have a clue. They believe that when their MM/MW goes home to their spouses and families, that the MM/MW, are nothing but non feeling zombies walking around with blank stares and non moving faces.......when in reality, they act as though everything in hunky dorey and continue on abusing other men and women.
joodee Posted December 20, 2004 Posted December 20, 2004 You know, my situation is kinda weird, quite the opposite. My MM doesn't live with his wife (hasn't for several years), I get the weekends, most holidays, most nights, in fact, if I said, honey, I want you to spend all your time with me, he would probably do that in a heartbeat. But he still hans't filed for divorce...still insisting it's all financial...now I think he won't let go emotional, or whatever... I say most holidays cause he just left by himself (I dropped him off at the airport) to see his mom back east for Christmas, and I am picking him up on the 26th. He said he would call from there, but so far just e-mails....I suspect he doesn't want to tell his mom about me, and that's why he won't call, cause he will be heard on the phone... I used to call him separated, but that to me is b**l, I feel more and more like the OW. Like KMT, I have broken up with him several times, then I fall off the wagon. If he didn't spend weekends and most nights and holidays with me, I would have been gone. That would be extremely painful, I understand how bad you all must feel. Yet, even though I get alot of the "premium time", I still feel like I am getting crumbs. For what all that was worth....
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