Le0 Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 hi all i have known this girl for over a year, and been seeing her now for just over 6 months now, everything has beeen perfect between us, we are even thinking of moving into a new house together, everything seems so perfect that i think irealy do love her, and this is part of the problem........ She is 22, has a 5yr old son, lives alone in her own house around 3 miles from me, i see her every day, usualy at a mutual friends house, or at my home, but i have never been in her house in all the time i have known her, she says she is ashamed of her home and dosent want me to see it, at 1st i argued this point with her saying i wasnt there to see her home but to see her, and it dosent matter to me what its like, but, still got nowhere on that so iv let that drop and not mentioned it to her since, even tho it does bother me. the second point is her family have more or less nothing to do with her, to the point of being abusive and nasty when they do see her, which brings up a resentment of them from myself, and which also upsets her a lot, as her son lives with her mum (he is partialy deaf) and her mum is married to a man who wont even let my gf in the house, and even though she is her mums daughter, her mum goes along with what her husband says and so they have no contact apart from on neutral ground, like her grandmothers house. and now the main point is that while all of the above is going on, she is feeling (understandably) depressed at the moment, and with xmas so close, and it also being a time that her dad passed away, she has realy withdrawn from me, to the point of telling me she needs some time to "sort her head out", i asked how long this will take. and she says maybe a few weeks, maybe longer, i tried convincing her that pushing away someone who realy does care about her in favour of being alone for a while makes no sense, as this is the time we should be together the most, but she was impossible to convince, and also that she is afraid because she is feeling the same way for me as i do for her and it scares her because any relationship she has had in the past she has been the one hurt. i realy dont know what to do i want to be with her but she wants this time to sort her head out, she says we havent broke up or anything like that, but to me it sort of feels that way, as not being around her now is driving me crazy, especialy with xmas a week away.......... Do i leave her to it while she works out whatever she has to or do i keep trying to convince her otherwise ? any advice in this would be appreciated
Merin Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 Leo.. there are SEVERAL Red Flags here that would make me run the other way.. 1) You've known her for a year, been dating for 6 months BUT she won't allow you to come to her home.. see something is up with that.. 2) She has a 5 year old son who lives with her Mom and she isn't allowed to be in the home where her child is.. again.. wtf is up with that?! 3) Her own family wants little or nothing to do with her.. uhh.. why is that? 4) Why is "Mom" raising her kiddo? Now she is telling you she just needs some time to sort things out.. why do I get the feeling her Mom got this same "talk" when she agreed to raise your GF's son for "awhile"? Your GF sounds like a very immature, (if not somewhat selfish) young lady.. who takes zero responsibility for her own life and actions... What you choose to do is all you.. however if this was me.. I would run like hell. My 2 cent's
alphamale Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 my suggestion to you is to find another women, this one sounds wacko
fundamental Posted December 18, 2004 Posted December 18, 2004 Originally posted by Le0 hi all i have known this girl for over a year, and been seeing her now for just over 6 months now, everything has beeen perfect between us, we are even thinking of moving into a new house together, everything seems so perfect that i think irealy do love her, and this is part of the problem........ Are you sure it has been perfect between you two or just perfect in your eyes only? She will not let you into her home...etc. read Merin's red flags because something is up with this girl. She is giving you excuses.
Author Le0 Posted December 19, 2004 Author Posted December 19, 2004 thanks for the advice everyone, i had it all out with her and her response was what i expected Im sorry, I havent used u. I just cant handle things at d moment. I dont kno wat I want but I kno its not fair 2expect u2 sit around waitin 4me 2make my mind up. I am sorry but think it wud b beta if we, stay as friends. Dont hate me. over with now, time to start looking for someone else worth caring about thanks again
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