FriedRice Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 (edited) Well, it has been 3 months since my breakup. My Ex and i have been together for 2.5 years. i have been doing good for a month so far until a few days ago when one of my friends told me that my ex was seeing someone and i also found out that she bought a couple's bracelet online a few days ago...this set me back to square one again after all the efforts. Today is one of my down days...yesterday, i had the courage to delete her from Facebook and blocked her. untagged myself in all of her pictures because she still has some pictures of us together on facebook. i also took everything that reminded me of her and put it in a box and put it away from sight. i stopped talking to her a month ago because i realize that it was hopeless efforts trying to win her back. i guess i was trying to get her back because i was a jerk to her during the relationship and somewhat took her for granted at times. i used an ultimatum on her because she wasnt giving me more time to hangout with her during the summer(dumb of me). she was always busy during the summer and we were only able to hangout twice a week for roughly 4 hours per hangout. She broke up with me and told me that she didnt have time for a relationship anymore, she was hurt because i block her on facebook whenever we argue(did it twice out of all the arguments), and how we were incompatible. Her sister told me the reason she broke up with me was because i was a jerk to her, so i guess thats how i found out that i was being a jerk to her. Also, i asked her during the breakup if she still had feelings for me. at first she didnt reply and was silent, but when i asked a couple more times and she told me that she lost feelings for me... This is my first breakup and my first relationship, so i made all the common mistakes. i begged, tried to convince her to give me another chance for the first few days. she was texting me and see how i was doing for a few days after the breakup and went silent after that.i kept in contact with her for about a month or two, but i realize that everytime i chat with her, she always give me false hopes, so about a month ago i decided to go no contact.i saw her a few times since the breakup. One of the time, was when we had dinner and i gave her stuff back. other time was her sister's birthday. Since the breakup, i have been doing a lot of reflecting on myself and how i could change my behavior for the best...i dont think that she will ever come back to me since it has been 3 months and havent made any effort to contact me and the fact that she is seeing someone else. the recent news, placed me back to square one and i guess its time for me to pick up the pieces and move on again...just wanted to go on here and vent and see how people are doing. Edited November 11, 2013 by FriedRice
me85 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I'm so sorry. It will get easier in time. Just put one foot in front of the other. I am recently crushed just over the suspicion that my ex has moved on with a potential girlfriend. He says he has not but is liking other girls' profile pictures on Facebook once he deleted me and has now blocked me because I saw it. It's going to kill me when I find out he is completely over me and dating someone else. Hang in there though. You never know what the future will bring. All you can do is make yourself happy one step at a time.
Author FriedRice Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 i understand your situation...my ex have also been liking pictures of the guy that she has been hanging out with.i know that sooner or later they will start dating, so i had to make the first step and delete her life completely before they start dating. It will break me down to every little pieces once that happens. i guess i am having a hard time moving on because the guilt of me being a jerk to her through the relationship is pulling me back. i mean i wasnt that bad of a boyfriend to be honest. i never cheated on her, wasnt that needy nor was i clingy. Its just that when we argue, i say nasty stuff to her and sometimes say stuff as if i dont appreciate her, even though i do love her a lot. When we argue, its always her that runs back to me even though it was my fault. she probably got tired of it all and ended it. i guess she checked out on the relationship before even calling it over, since she has been happy and doing fine since the breakup. I hope that we can both get through this because i know how much it hurts for both of us once we find out that they are dating someone else after only a few months of the break up...
xpaperxcutx Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 90% of rebound relationships do not work out. However, if u had continued to bother her while she was dating someone else, chances are she would not come back to you. Do NC please. I know its hard but its also a good way to reflect on your self to make things better for yourself. I also advise u to start reading the secret and how to get ur life back on track.
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 My EX slept with someone after a week and we were in a 3 year RS. He had it all planned actually. They aren't together though. Now he is desperately trying to hook up with anyone. He is even going after girls that I know have some of the same characteristics as me - reasons he gave me for the BU. It isn't very nice I know. But in one harsh way it kind of forces you to move and accept it is over.
Author FriedRice Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 @Paper i know its been almost a month since i have contacted her. i figured my efforts were pointless since she haven't made an effort to contact me for the past 3 months, since the breakup. i was willing to improve myself for her, but i guess she didnt love me enough to give it another go at our relationship. i realized that there is nothing i can do and the chances of us being together is almost zero since she is seeing someone else. @Sassy yeah, it always amazes me how someone can just move on and throw everything away after a long term relationship together. After the breakup, i ex seemed happy and fine and now even seeing someone else. it makes me wonder if all the times we have spent together were meaningless to them and it was all just a game to them or something, since they didnt give a single crap about us after the breakup...
xpaperxcutx Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Never improve for anyone but yourself. I learned that the hard way. Time to remove your ex from a pedestal and place yourself on it instead.
Author FriedRice Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Never improve for anyone but yourself. I learned that the hard way. Time to remove your ex from a pedestal and place yourself on it instead. oh i meant to say that the improvement is really for my future relationship. It might be her or it might not be. being a jerk is no way acceptable and i guess thats why i want to improve myself, so i wouldnt have to go through something like this again with my future relationship.
ks0985 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Its funny how social media can really play a negative role in your healing process huh....big reason why i no longer have Instagram,Facebook why would you risk putting yourself in a bad position? You know the sad thing is by deleting her / blocking her and untagging all those photos you really gave her even more power. Sorry bro just being honest.
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 @Paper @Sassy yeah, it always amazes me how someone can just move on and throw everything away after a long term relationship together. After the breakup, i ex seemed happy and fine and now even seeing someone else. it makes me wonder if all the times we have spent together were meaningless to them and it was all just a game to them or something, since they didnt give a single crap about us after the breakup... Yeah me too. This was from someone who often told me how much he loved me. I don't even recognize who he is now. He has all new friends, goes out all the time, drinks more then he did, and the way he is with women - seems like anyone will do - except me that is. Was pretty harsh but a good lesson learned on my end. And when I think of him now i just think....god what a heartless, using, arsehole. 1
Author FriedRice Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Its funny how social media can really play a negative role in your healing process huh....big reason why i no longer have Instagram,Facebook why would you risk putting yourself in a bad position? You know the sad thing is by deleting her / blocking her and untagging all those photos you really gave her even more power. Sorry bro just being honest. i know, but i guess i am at a point where i really dont give a crap about what she thinks about me anymore. i know that by me deleting and blocking her on facebook, it shows that i am weak and that i cannot handle being her friends on facebook, but it really doesnt matter. its been 3 months and i am still somewhat down, so i want it to be all about me now. Now, i have no access to her facebook, and i wont have the urges to check on her profile every few days.
Author FriedRice Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Yeah me too. This was from someone who often told me how much he loved me. I don't even recognize who he is now. He has all new friends, goes out all the time, drinks more then he did, and the way he is with women - seems like anyone will do - except me that is. Was pretty harsh but a good lesson learned on my end. And when I think of him now i just think....god what a heartless, using, arsehole. yeah i feel almost like you do...the person that you used to know and used to care for so much is now becoming someone that you dont even know anymore...i was given the cold shoulder, since the breakup. She acted cold towards me, but she act nice and friendly around everyone else. she said that she wanted to be good friends with me, but she havent made any efforts to do so. i figured that she wanted me out of her life, so i gave her the benefit and deleted her off of my Facebook. might be a bad move on me, but oh well, too late to go back on it now.
Mz_sassy_77 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 yeah i feel almost like you do...the person that you used to know and used to care for so much is now becoming someone that you dont even know anymore...i was given the cold shoulder, since the breakup. She acted cold towards me, but she act nice and friendly around everyone else. she said that she wanted to be good friends with me, but she havent made any efforts to do so. i figured that she wanted me out of her life, so i gave her the benefit and deleted her off of my Facebook. might be a bad move on me, but oh well, too late to go back on it now. Oh i got that too. I really hope we can be friends, like I should be so honoured he would want to be friends with me. Ummm no thanks. You want to BU so that's what we are going to do. NC from me
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