memo15mx Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I´ve been dating a girl for two months now. Everything was going so smooth.She told me that no one ever treated her like I did. We were almost ready to be together as a couple when suddenly she starts saying that she saw an old person she used to date and that she´s confused with her feelings because she never told him that she liked him but that she still wants to get to know me. I told her I just went through that with another girl and got my heart broken and that I would not see her anymore until she has gotten everything straightened out. Was it the right move? As pathetic as it sounds, I miss her.
superb Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I´ve been dating a girl for two months now. Everything was going so smooth.She told me that no one ever treated her like I did. We were almost ready to be together as a couple when suddenly she starts saying that she saw an old person she used to date and that she´s confused with her feelings because she never told him that she liked him but that she still wants to get to know me. I told her I just went through that with another girl and got my heart broken and that I would not see her anymore until she has gotten everything straightened out. Was it the right move? As pathetic as it sounds, I miss her. I think you did the right thing and I think it's normal to miss her. 6
Author memo15mx Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 I think you did the right thing and I think it's normal to miss her. The worst part is I really like her...It´s horrible. She´s amazing and the other guy just started paying attention again because she saw me getting serious.
superb Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 The worst part is I really like her...It´s horrible. She´s amazing and the other guy just started paying attention again because she saw me getting serious. Doesn't seem very fair. People play too many games. If you've been clear with her and she knows how you feel then you should disengage for yourself...maybe she'll miss YOU! Can go either way really, waiting can be torture though but I still think you've done what's best. 2
Uwaae Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I'd say you should've stuck around and just have fun with her. If she gets with that other guy, at least she'd be your friend. Anyway, while youre not seeing her, you should see other women
2sunny Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 The worst part is I really like her...It´s horrible. She´s amazing and the other guy just started paying attention again because she saw me getting serious. It's because she's greedy! You did the right thing. 2
crederer Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 If the roles were reversed, would you expect her to stick around waiting for you? Truthfully, I think she was just trying to let you down easy..... 1
Kate9292 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 The worst part is I really like her...It´s horrible. She´s amazing and the other guy just started paying attention again because she saw me getting serious. It doesn't make sense. Other guy just starting to pay attention probably had nothing to do with you. It just happened. But just because he started paying attention doesn't mean you have to give up. Do you give up so easily on something/someone you really want? Especially since she said she still wants to get to know you and is just letting you know that other people are in a picture too. She didn't have to do that, she could just string you along. That's a good sign IMO. If your just lukewarm, feel free to part ways. 2
lollipopspot Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Yeah, if I really liked her, I'd take my chances and see if I could win her over. There are no guarantees with relationships, especially in the beginning when people haven't committed. You can get your heart broken any time in a relationship - that's the risk - you just have to try to be philosophical about it and roll with whatever happens. 2
felicity1 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I think distance from her is the best thing. It's demeaning to grovel after someone who is also interested in someone else. If he wants a respectful girlfriend then he has to respect himself and attend to his own needs first. 3
truth_seeker Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 She is exploring all her options. Lucky you she said something to you about this early on. If a girl told me this, I would go from taking her seriously, to viewing her only as fun material. She is telling you she likes another guy... yet she still wants to hold onto you in case things don't work out with him. Nice feeling, huh? I would be upset and lose feelings for her. I would only hook up with her if she came calling.
Author memo15mx Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 She says she´s still confused and that she still needs time to think. One of my friends tell me that she told her that the other guy was in her heart for a long time and that she always wondered what could happen, but then she met me and started feeling what it was like to be in a romantic, mature and caring relationship. She doesn´t deny having feelings for the other guy but that she doesn´t want to accept that I came into her life only so the other guy could react and see what he was missing out on. It´s really messed up...
Author memo15mx Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 Doesn't seem very fair. People play too many games. If you've been clear with her and she knows how you feel then you should disengage for yourself...maybe she'll miss YOU! Can go either way really, waiting can be torture though but I still think you've done what's best. She called... She says she´s still confused and that she still needs time to think. One of my friends tell me that she told her that the other guy was in her heart for a long time and that she always wondered what could happen, but then she met me and started feeling what it was like to be in a romantic, mature and caring relationship. She doesn´t deny having feelings for the other guy but that she doesn´t want to accept that I came into her life only so the other guy could react and see what he was missing out on. It´s really messed up..
Author memo15mx Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 She's not confused. That's just a kind term for, "I've always wondered what it would be like to date this guy and I'm not missing out on the opportunity this time around just because I've started seeing Memo. I'm going for it.." So, I´m screwed huh?
RonaldS Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 But just because he started paying attention doesn't mean you have to give up. Do you give up so easily on something/someone you really want? I would. She's playing games. Guys are idiots when it comes to this stuff, and the girl always ends up getting what she wants at somebody's expense because the guy says things like 'let me know when you get things figured out' (read: 'I will be sitting in my bedroom listening to The Cure waiting for you to come back'). Screw that nonsense. With me, the conversation would go like this: 'Oh, we've been dating for a couple of months and now you're confused about your feelings for another guy? Let me help clear up the confusion....take care.' Billions of other girls in the world.
Winherback Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Yea, you are in a tough spot dude. Im sorry bro. BUT, you are not out of it just yet. The key here is to control yourself, be the man, have respect for her as she is confused, but she also needs to know in a way that you are THE MAN and you don't play second fiddle to anybody. If you pull her right now at all, it will only push her away. YOU are the catch, not this other pecker. Do everything from a calm and confident place and start pursuing other options immediately but dont throw it in her face and see if she ends up ditching this other "fantasy" and comes back to the real deal. Her loss, and HER screwup, not yours (but you cant tell her that lol). Its a tricky spot, so dont let your emotions dictate your actions or its toast. 1
Author memo15mx Posted November 14, 2013 Author Posted November 14, 2013 (edited) Yea, you are in a tough spot dude. Im sorry bro. BUT, you are not out of it just yet. The key here is to control yourself, be the man, have respect for her as she is confused, but she also needs to know in a way that you are THE MAN and you don't play second fiddle to anybody. If you pull her right now at all, it will only push her away. YOU are the catch, not this other pecker. Do everything from a calm and confident place and start pursuing other options immediately but dont throw it in her face and see if she ends up ditching this other "fantasy" and comes back to the real deal. Her loss, and HER screwup, not yours (but you cant tell her that lol). Its a tricky spot, so dont let your emotions dictate your actions or its toast. I´m much calmer now. My mind tells me she is making a mistake. And I won´t sit around hoping she realizes it. But I feel I must fight for her. Just one more round. Then, win or lose, I will feel I did my best. It sounds cheesy and hopeless. This girl really matters to me. And that pecker just wants her like a kid who goes to the toy store and sees one he likes but continues searching but he then realizes that another kid paid attention to it and know he wants it. It´s incredible how she cannot see that!!! Call me a fool, but I have kept little souveniers from our dates. I made some sort of timeline with it expressing how much each moment meant to me. I´m not hoping it´ll change her mind. I just want her to know that since the beginning, I saw what she was. Edited November 14, 2013 by memo15mx
Delilah1623 Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 People don't get confused when they really want to be with someone. Sorry.
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