RedDawn1 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I am a white man and I am in a relationship with a black woman who is Nigerian, last year my mom died during surgery from hemorrhaging during surgery from an aneurysm. Because of my relationship with girlfriend which they thought I was no longer, I had to keep my relationship I a secret from them because they did not want me to be with her, their reason was based on my brother in law's job at Raytheon that it could affect his security clearance saying they cannot have contact with people who are not citizens. Rowena is not a citizen but she is not an illegal. Ever since then my sister has disowned me, she blocked me from my mothers facebook, she also took it out my close friend Randy who is best friends with me for over 22 years and he is angry at my sister and says this whole thing about my brother in law's job is the lamest excuse he ever heard come out my sister's mouth. My sister is making sure I get nothing from my mother's will, I tried to get legal help with no success, she will not allow me to see my mother's ashes get spread outside of Seattle, and she said I have no family and said I should get a DNA test for my daughter because she wants me to think my daughter is not mine and I will not take any DNA test because I see too much DNA drama on the Maury show and I refuse to be any of those guys who deny their children. I was needing some insight is this saying about brother in law's job is true or is just a bunch of nonsense to dictate who I should and should not fall in love with? I was needing some insight? 1
down hearted Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 your sister has no say in who you marry,date, or get intimate with, truly is none of her business she can just wish you luck and support for your happiness, otherwise its really not her concern. As for your brother, that has nothing to do with you, thats HIS job not yours, just because a family member dates someone it makes no sense to remove them out of their security clearance unless she is a trained assassin or something otherwise thats the stupidest excuse i have ever heard, she is been disrespectful and cruel to you and that's not right. My brother is married to an evil witch and even i and none of my family can say anything to him, we gave him advice BEFORE he got married just out of concern and then we left it alone because that is family we can share advice and its up to the person to take it or leave it but other than that thats nobody's concern only his. The same with you, if you love each other and want to be with each other thats nobody's business not even your sister and for her to cut you out in sharing important issues such as the will and the ashes of your mother she will pay for it down the road. That is just a cruel thing to do and a selfish evil thing to do, is she young or married? 1
Author RedDawn1 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Yea, she is married, she is 2.5 years younger than me the security clearance job is that of her husband.
down hearted Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 then thats not your problem, you mean to tell me she is allowed happiness with the person she loves but you don't because of her and her husband's own benefit or else, screw her she is selfish. Thats not right she can't do that she is trying to control you, her husband's job is not your concern she can not choose who you date or who you love. Thats just not right on her part have you tried to lawyer up with the will other than the one looking after your mom's will? 1
crederer Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 That's the biggest load I've ever heard. She can't take your share of the will either. If you looked for legal advice and they said there was nothing they could do about it, it was a severely incompetent lawyer. 3
Author RedDawn1 Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 I could tell her that and she would tell me she can.
down hearted Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 That's the biggest load I've ever heard. She can't take your share of the will either. If you looked for legal advice and they said there was nothing they could do about it, it was a severely incompetent lawyer. I agree you need to consult with a better lawyer.
crederer Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I could tell her that and she would tell me she can. Not legally, she can't.
Author RedDawn1 Posted November 12, 2013 Author Posted November 12, 2013 (edited) My girlfriend and I have been looked at cock eyed by both white and black people. Like one time two white people were looking me cock eyed when I taking my girlfriend for a walk in the park last they were looking at me like "There are so many nice white women why cant that guy just be with one of them." It pisses me off Edited November 12, 2013 by RedDawn1 Remove emoticon 1
turnera Posted November 12, 2013 Posted November 12, 2013 lol, my DD23's best friend is black and is married to a white guy, and their baby looks white. It really ticks her friend off, she says people have asked her whose baby she's taking care of. 1
Author RedDawn1 Posted November 13, 2013 Author Posted November 13, 2013 I find that offensive saying that why is she taking care of someone else's kid when she is the mother even though she is black and the child looks very Caucasian because her husband is white. That was very offensive of them to say that horse**** to her. My sister said I should take a DNA test for my daughter. Until my sister stops this bull****, she is not coming anywhere near my daughter. 1
turnera Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 RedDawn, the truth is, you're in Texas. You ARE going to encounter such people. Not all of us, most everyone I hang out with would never think that way. But I know many (with whom I choose NOT to hang out) who do.
DaisyLeigh1967 Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 There is no way she can legally take your share of any inheritance. Check with the local court to see if the will was probated. If so, it is public record, and you can check it yourself.
Dark_history Posted November 13, 2013 Posted November 13, 2013 I truly feel for you and understand what you are going through. My wife is black and I have encountered the same thing. As others have said, no one has any right to act in such a way towards your relationship. I will also say though, that the part about the security clearance "could" be true, it would depend on the level and what the clerance was for. However, that still does not give them any right to act the way they did, nor expect you to change your dating partner to suit their needs. They could have easily just said "we just need to avoid contact until clearance passes through, it is nothing against you but it is what the system is". Also yes to getting a better lawyer. 2
Author RedDawn1 Posted November 20, 2013 Author Posted November 20, 2013 Thanks to all of this bull****, my sister blocked me from my mother's facebook and took it out on my best friend of 22 years.
turnera Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 She's only making herself look bad. Ignore it. 1
nescafe1982 Posted November 20, 2013 Posted November 20, 2013 She sounds like a racist. I know a little about such things, and your wife's immigration status would not have any effect on her husband's clearance level (or if so, it would be minimal). The only way she can endanger your inheritance is if your mother signed everything over to her and made no will otherwise. Get a(nother) lawyer if you think her threats are credible. Unfortunately, this isn't on you... which also means you really have not control over how she chooses to act towards you. If I were in your shoes, I would disengage from her. Ignore her attempts to agitate you; don't write her, call, text, or email. Wait for her attitude to change. If it does, resume your relationship. But as it stands? you're not the problem... and trying to reason with her simply won't work.
Author RedDawn1 Posted November 21, 2013 Author Posted November 21, 2013 I think my sister's real problem is that she is too stubborn because I am with my girlfriend who is Nigerian who is not a citizen, I don't understand what is my sister's real problem because my girlfriend has legal status in the country and yet my sister believes none of it.
Acacia98 Posted November 22, 2013 Posted November 22, 2013 I think my sister's real problem is that she is too stubborn because I am with my girlfriend who is Nigerian who is not a citizen, I don't understand what is my sister's real problem because my girlfriend has legal status in the country and yet my sister believes none of it. Your sister sounds very psychologically twisted. Don't try too hard to make sense of why she's acting the way she is. What you need to do: 1. Get yourself a lawyer, make sure you're covered on the inheritance issue. 2. Seek psychological counseling for yourself if you can afford to. 3. Concentrate on building a strong relationship with your girlfriend and surrounding yourselves with people who love and support you. 4. Ignore your sister. By disowning you, she has given you permission to do that. 1
Author RedDawn1 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 That is why until my sister stops this horse****, she is not allowed near my daughter. She called me an ******* first and I told her that she is being ignorant for saying this bull**** about my woman just because she is Nigerian and tells me to stop the childish name calling when she called me one first and it makes wonder if she thinks that it is okay to call me an ******* but I cannot say she is being ignorant, that is hypocrisy or having a double standard.
Author RedDawn1 Posted December 8, 2013 Author Posted December 8, 2013 Especially when they are very stubborn.
John316C Posted December 24, 2013 Posted December 24, 2013 what you do is none of anyone elses business. this is your life. 1
Author RedDawn1 Posted December 27, 2013 Author Posted December 27, 2013 I agree because that woman I am in a relationship with makes me happy and I love her and my sister feels its a big deal and has never even met my lady.
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