Boyfriend chatting with other girls?

[Archanaart]

Hi everyone and thank you for reading.

 

I don't know too much about Badoo. I'm not sure if it's a dating site or making new friends type of site.

 

Anyways, I noticed that his inbox had messages from four girls from Badoo. I didn't say anything because I wanted to do more research on Badoo and what it is.

 

I found his profile and it says he wants to make new friends. The profile is pretty complete and says he is single. I can tell by the profile description that he said he was single when he wasn't cause I was dating him he was in his third year of university.

 

I don't know what to think about it. It makes me uncomfortable

 

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not. I don't have proof that he is chatting with other girls.

 

Thoughts?

[Archanaart]

Thanks. I definitely needed to hear that. We've been dating for 16 months now. I'm not sure how to go about talking to him about it. He thinks it's okay to be on a site to make new friends. I'm against it because it causes doubts and can lead to misunderstandings.

[d0nnivain]

I never heard of the site until I read your post so I looked it up. It is a dating site but it's a nefarious one from a privacy perspective . . . it's hacking into your BF's contact list according to what I read / found in the last few minutes. I don't know if that is true but caution would be warranted.

[Archanaart]

Thanks for all the advice. I have no pictures or names that link my profile on that site to me.

 

For a little poetic justice, I'm going to message him on that site. and talk with him in person.

[Archanaart]

I never heard of the site until I read your post so I looked it up. It is a dating site but it's a nefarious one from a privacy perspective . . . it's hacking into your BF's contact list according to what I read / found in the last few minutes. I don't know if that is true but caution would be warranted.

 

Could you explain what this site does a little more? I'm not sure about it at all.

[Toddbt12y1]

My ex gf was on Badoo when I was suspicious of her. I found links, and found her profile. Through her email, I was able to access the account. It had guys on it, and the messages from these guys to her. Was hidden. Without a picture, I wasn't allowed to read it.

 

I thought it was a friend site(it actually allows this). But it indeed is a dating site. I warn you, be wary. She indeed was cheating on me. Lied, claimed that profile existed before we met(which we were together for 4 and half years). This was not so. Confront him about it...he'll lie. But who knows?

[Archanaart]

My ex gf was on Badoo when I was suspicious of her. I found links, and found her profile. Through her email, I was able to access the account. It had guys on it, and the messages from these guys to her. Was hidden. Without a picture, I wasn't allowed to read it.

 

I thought it was a friend site(it actually allows this). But it indeed is a dating site. I warn you, be wary. She indeed was cheating on me. Lied, claimed that profile existed before we met(which we were together for 4 and half years). This was not so. Confront him about it...he'll lie. But who knows?

 

I'm sorry to hear about your experience.

 

I did indeed find his profile and it is him. There is no denying it. What he is messaging back to these girls, I don't know. I will for sure confront him about this. It really hurts me and places doubts about our relationship.

[Toddbt12y1]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience.

 

I did indeed find his profile and it is him. There is no denying it. What he is messaging back to these girls, I don't know. I will for sure confront him about this. It really hurts me and places doubts about our relationship.

 

I understand. This was devastating for me to find this information. I was to marry her. But, it...happened. I confronted her, and she liedm expect lies.

 

If you can manage to access his email, and he isn't using an alternate email....You should be able to find a link to this Badoo. If it is still there. This might allow you onto his profile. Without a picture(if one isn't up) you cannot see the messages. If one is on his profile, you can or you can add one to it.

 

This is sorrowful. Hope for better, and expect the worse. Don't let this destroy you. Be strong. Find out the truth.

[headinthecloud]

RUN!!!! That is a classic tactic of a cheater. Badoo is a dating/hookup tool. I would not believe another word from him. Take it from someone who just got out of relationship with a cheater....same red flags.

 

As for him..."Do not pass GO and do not collect $200....".

[Leigh 87]

My ex did this to me.

 

Turns out, be loved me but he was not exactly IN love with me.. he broke up with me in the end, even though I overlooked the dating sites.

 

You would be surprised at how much you can tell yourself that everything will be OKAY, when deep down, you KNOW right from wrong. You KNOW his actions are indicative of a man who is NOT head over heals in love.

Guys who are deeply IN love, and who are totally head over heals for their girlfriends DO NOT go on dating sites.

 

It depends what sort of relationshp you're seeking: do you want to be with a guy who really likes you a great deal and who you love being with, but who uses other women to talk to due to not being that crazy about you?

 

Personally, I now realise that I should have left my ex the second I found his online dating profiles. He ended up sexting with girls which I also found.

 

I stayed.

He ended up breaking up with me anyway.

Next time, I will never put up with a guy who goes online to talk to other girls.

I urge you... Please, cut your losses NOW.

It will be awful ,you will miss each other awfully much, however; stay strong.

 

You know deep down that you want a bf who WILL NOT do this to you! There aRE guys out there who will NOT talk to girls online, while they are in a "relationship" with you.

 

I am warning you from first hand experience; it WILL NOT end well for you both. He will only stay with you if he cannot find the right girl, the "one" w he falls madly in love with. If she doesnt come along, he will stay with you.

If you WERE that "one" for him, he WOULD NOT be online doing what he is doing. I know this is very hard for you to hear, but I needed to hear it MORE when I was in your predicament. I would have left and been long over my ex.

[Archanaart]

Thanks for all the advice and support.

 

Sorry to those who have been cheated on and lied to. I am starting to understand the pain and hurt.

 

I will definitely not let this go. I have confronted him in a poetic way by messaging him on that site. I know that is childish and immature but it feels good. I will talk to him once he notices in person.

 

I will not let this get in the way of my life. I have a lot going on right now and I do not need this pain or added stress.

 

And I looked at when he was last on that site and it was about an hour ago

 

it keeps getting better and better

[Archanaart]

My ex did this to me.

 

Turns out, be loved me but he was not exactly IN love with me.. he broke up with me in the end, even though I overlooked the dating sites.

 

You would be surprised at how much you can tell yourself that everything will be OKAY, when deep down, you KNOW right from wrong. You KNOW his actions are indicative of a man who is NOT head over heals in love.

Guys who are deeply IN love, and who are totally head over heals for their girlfriends DO NOT go on dating sites.

 

It depends what sort of relationshp you're seeking: do you want to be with a guy who really likes you a great deal and who you love being with, but who uses other women to talk to due to not being that crazy about you?

 

Personally, I now realise that I should have left my ex the second I found his online dating profiles. He ended up sexting with girls which I also found.

 

I stayed.

He ended up breaking up with me anyway.

Next time, I will never put up with a guy who goes online to talk to other girls.

I urge you... Please, cut your losses NOW.

It will be awful ,you will miss each other awfully much, however; stay strong.

 

You know deep down that you want a bf who WILL NOT do this to you! There aRE guys out there who will NOT talk to girls online, while they are in a "relationship" with you.

 

I am warning you from first hand experience; it WILL NOT end well for you both. He will only stay with you if he cannot find the right girl, the "one" w he falls madly in love with. If she doesnt come along, he will stay with you.

If you WERE that "one" for him, he WOULD NOT be online doing what he is doing. I know this is very hard for you to hear, but I needed to hear it MORE when I was in your predicament. I would have left and been long over my ex.

 

wow reading your post made me cry. I need the tough love and not to hear its okay or that everything will be okay. I have always felt like something was wrong or would go wrong. I thought because of my parents marriage I was a bit more paranoid but now I see I may have some real doubts and gut feelings that something is wrong.

 

I am sorry to hear about your experience but you are right. This is second time I have had to deal with things like this. I do not need it or deserve it. No one does.

 

I will confront him and talk about it. I am ready to be strong and walk away if needed. The trust has gone down.

 

I also have been feeling a little off about his friends and how they act. Its very different from him. I'm not sure if this is also a red flag.

[ArcaneLady]

You don't join a dating site to make "friends". Especially not friends of the opposite gender.

 

Confront him, and leave him. He's pretty much already left you.

[Leigh 87]

Look, even if he is just "chatting" , guy are simple: if they are crazy in love with a girl who they feel is "the one", they do not even "chat" to others girls online. They have enough girls they can chat to in their every day life if they want a female perspective on things.

 

Please don't stay with him. My ex was super awesome to be with, we both laughed so much more than we did with anyone else. To this day we both lament that it is a shame we cannot find anyone in our lives that makes us laugh so much. We laughed non stop right until the end.

 

Just because you love the guy and he dos nice things for you and everything seems really great..... That is not enough of a reason to pick a guy who goes online and talks to girls.

 

This is your entire life here! There will be guys who WILL NOT chat online to girls AND who will be JUST as amazing as your curret bf.

 

Do you want to spend YEARS with a guy who goes online to seek out other women to talk to? That's if he is only talking to them. And what about years down the track? He is talkig to other girls NOW. Will he be satisifed with just you, YEARS later?

 

I am fine now, even after an intense 2.5 year relationship where we had veery strong feelings, albeit HE was not in love with ME, or he would not have done what he did, had I been enough for him.

 

You will be fine too.

 

I am sure you are like most women. Most women overlook this crap. They are too weak to do what is best for them They would rather stay with their guys who go online or cheat.

Edited November 11, 2013 by Leigh 87

[ArcaneLady]

WOMEN are too weak?? How offensive. If men didn't cheat then women wouldn't have to "put up with it".*. And You're a woman?? Yet another woman who back stabs and runs down her own gender. That's terrible.

 

*and the reverse applies - but I resent the blame being laid squarely at the woman's feet.

[Archanaart]

I got the typical. It was created before I met you and I don't use it or chat with anyone.

 

Yet i know some of those pictures are recent from this year.

 

Anyways he claims he deleted it. Who knows.

 

I told him to figure out what he wants and to get his sh*t together.

 

I am now taking some time for myself. Good riddance

[Archanaart]

I am sorry to hear about your lousy chatty-kathy of a boyfriend though.

 

hahaha good one! that made me laugh! thanks

[Toddbt12y1]

Interesting. Does he know my whore of an ex? Both used the same excuse. What a bunch of lame asses. He's worthless.

 

A little info on Badoo(I was a victim of this and more)..

 

The site, at least at the time(two yrs ago), offered various things to members.

 

To seek friends(no one does this)

 

To have one night stands.

 

To set up dates.

 

These three where options during this time. I haven't been back to it.

 

This of course, was one of the many terrible things she had done. She was a nasty, and heartless cheater.

 

End this. Do not play games. Do not give into tears...only be strong. Only for you.

[Archanaart]

Interesting. Does he know my whore of an ex? Both used the same excuse. What a bunch of lame asses. He's worthless.

 

A little info on Badoo(I was a victim of this and more)..

 

The site, at least at the time(two yrs ago), offered various things to members.

 

To seek friends(no one does this)

 

To have one night stands.

 

To set up dates.

 

These three where options during this time. I haven't been back to it.

 

This of course, was one of the many terrible things she had done. She was a nasty, and heartless cheater.

 

End this. Do not play games. Do not give into tears...only be strong. Only for you.

 

Yeah I laughed when I read his explanation for it. It reminded me of your post and your ex.

 

I'm not backing down. I shouldn't have to be in a relationship to periodically find that he's on dating sites. And then hear excuses.

[Toddbt12y1]

Yeah I laughed when I read his explanation for it. It reminded me of your post and your ex.

 

I'm not backing down. I shouldn't have to be in a relationship to periodically find that he's on dating sites. And then hear excuses.

 

Yep! It is disrespectful of you. You deserve better than this scumbag. You are a beautiful woman, and deserve so much better. I am glad you are standing your ground. This is his fault...he ruined it. What a loser. Cheaters are nothing. Just losers, liars. Lol...he lost big time.

[ArcaneLady]

Disrespectful TO you xD

[Archanaart]

Yep! It is disrespectful of you. You deserve better than this scumbag. You are a beautiful woman, and deserve so much better. I am glad you are standing your ground. This is his fault...he ruined it. What a loser. Cheaters are nothing. Just losers, liars. Lol...he lost big time.

 

I was raised to be strong and stand up for myself. That is what I am doing right now.

 

And thank you for the compliments I do deserve a lot better than this.

 

 

And yes I agree with both of you that it is disrespectful to me.

 

You can't use the excuse that "I don't use it anymore so I forgot about it"

 

I am fully aware of each site I joined and still have.

[Toddbt12y1]

Disrespectful TO you xD

 

Oh, lol, ops. I didn't catch that. Thanks

[Toddbt12y1]

I was raised to be strong and stand up for myself. That is what I am doing right now.

 

And thank you for the compliments I do deserve a lot better than this.

 

 

And yes I agree with both of you that it is disrespectful to me.

 

You can't use the excuse that "I don't use it anymore so I forgot about it"

 

I am fully aware of each site I joined and still have.

 

 

I agree. No excuse will serve. What an admirable lady you are. I like this. Be strong...how well have you been taught!

 

Still, I am sorry this has happened to you. Least it did before any marriages or things of such nature.

[Leigh 87]

wow reading your post made me cry. I need the tough love and not to hear its okay or that everything will be okay. I have always felt like something was wrong or would go wrong. I thought because of my parents marriage I was a bit more paranoid but now I see I may have some real doubts and gut feelings that something is wrong.

 

I am sorry to hear about your experience but you are right. This is second time I have had to deal with things like this. I do not need it or deserve it. No one does.

 

I will confront him and talk about it. I am ready to be strong and walk away if needed. The trust has gone down.

 

I also have been feeling a little off about his friends and how they act. Its very different from him. I'm not sure if this is also a red flag.

 

 

 

I'm sorry you are going through this:( You sound like you're an honest loyal girl who simply wants the same from your man.

 

Men can really love a girl and not physically cheat, and they can thik this girl is diffrent to any girl they have ever met. They can miss them when they are apart. They can want to spend most of their time together with this girl. They can move in with them and want to be serious with this girl.

 

Guys can grow to love girls, without feeling head over heals in love with them. They can grow super attached to a girl they wat to spend most of the time with.

 

Look, my ex loved me very much. To this day, neither of us have found anyone who makes us laugh the way we did with each other. We honestly loved spending most of our time together up until the very end.

We were great friends and a great match; except he just wasn't in love with me the way a man needs to be, in order to be a life partner to someone.

Just because we are not the 'one' for them, it doesn't mean we are not a very specal person to them.

 

I think both you and him should be free to find the right people.

 

I KNOW it is WAY more desirable to just let this slide and let him tell you to please give you another chance.

 

It is EASY to continue in your comfort zone.

 

It is EASY to avoid the pain of losing him.

 

Deep down, I KNOW you want a guy who is totally, undeniably crazy in love with you, to the point where he does NOT EVER seek out " other women" online.

 

I can PROMISE you... Only guys who are wired differently and prefer open relatonships, actually can love a girl to their best ablities yet talk to other girls/hook up with others.

 

In the VAST majority of cases, a man will NOT talk to other women in that way, once tey find the "one".

 

You are some ones "one". He will find his "one" if you do not leave him. Only, it will proably take a while and you will be even more attached to him by the time he realises that you're not "it" for him.

 

What I am saying is 100% true. Men are simple. Yet they often have relationships with girls who they do not fall head over heals in love with.

It takes a long time to find "that girl", and most guys I know just end up wwith a girl who they ARE into and who they DO love, but who they are not IN love with in the deepest sense.

 

I speak from experience and from observing a lot of men.

 

 

...My good friend met a guy who was into sleeping around most weekends. The second he got with her, everything changed. Things shift whe a man feels compelled to put you above his own needs. It happens when they start to fall in love.

He easily got with her and with NO Urge to revert back to his player lifestyle.

 

My ex and your bf will meet a girl one day, and they will NEVER go onlie seeking out girls. Because they will be in love with this girl.

 

We too, can go on to meet out equivalent. We really can:)