JerryBK Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I was with this girl for 4 months, going on dates talking everyday, and having a good time. Things couldn't have been going any better. We had a talk about being exclusive but we both decided that we should take it slow and not put any labels on our relationship. She told me that she wants to be with me, and that she really liked me during this conversation. I have known this girl for over a year now and we kept in touch most of that time, and eventually we began going on dates and spending alot of time together. However recently, (Last weekend) we went out for a few drinks, and were with some of her friends. I got caught up in the moment and ended up getting way to drunk, (I dont hardly remember what happend) not a good thing. The little that she told me, I embarrassed her and scared her quite a bit. and she ended up kicking me out of her apt after we left the bar. The next day I didn't have my car or my phone, and didn't exactly know where I was. Once I found my phone and gained some sense, the only way I could contact her was via a text. I told her "I was sorry, and that she deserves an apology more than a text, if I could stop by or give her a call let me know, If that doesn't work I understand...just know that I care and that I feel terrible for what might have happened last night." She didn't respond until the next night, she said " I honestly have no words for what happend on Friday night, quite frankly I was embarrassed and scared when you wouldn't leave. I dont know where we stand in eachothers lives after all of that, and I think from here on out we should give eachother space and see where that leads us. So that brings me here, a week later with No Contact, and me wishing I could have the chance to apologize properly to her. I have noticed on her Twitter she has been saying things like "Sometimes we have to take a break from the things and the people we love in order to truly understand how much we love them." I dont constantly troll on her twitter account but these things pop up, and since we dont have mutual friends this is the only insight in which I have to understand where she is at with the situation...... Do you think I should contact her? or should I just cut my losses and move on? I know I love this girl, I just dont understand why I made the decision I did that night.....I feel terrible for making her suffer through whatever it was that happened and I find myself going back to wanting to make things better....any advice?
thompkevin Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I think you can give it another try after a month or so. Try talking her and asking her if she would like to give it another try. If she doesn't, then it's better to move on.
r321148 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 " I honestly have no words for what happend on Friday night, quite frankly I was embarrassed and scared when you wouldn't leave. I dont know where we stand in eachothers lives after all of that, and I think from here on out we should give eachother space and see where that leads us." I think that's pretty reasonable of her. Sounds like you messed up pretty bad and she still didn't categorically say you now have no chance. Do you think I should contact her? or should I just cut my losses and move on? I don't think you should do either of those things just yet. Give it time and let the dust settle. Then issue her a genuine and proper apology and assure her that it will never happen again. She may accept the apology and give you another chance but she may equally decide that she doesn't trust you won't do it again. You will just have to put yourself out there and see how it goes. Maybe in the meantime reflect on why you did what you did and work on how you're going to ensure it doesn't happen again. Good luck
Author JerryBK Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 What is an acceptable amount of time to "let the dust settle"? I am wondering if I dont make any substantial move toward proving to her that I appreciate her in my life, that she will feel that she needs to move on. I am wondering if I should in some way (sending flowers, a short note. etc.) let her know I am thinking about her and that I feel bad for what happened.... What are your thoughts about possibly sending her something, or leaving a small note for her at her apartment/car? (I am trying to exhaust all options here)....
r321148 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 You already apologised right? She knows you're sorry and has asked for space. Respect that! I'd say at least a couple more weeks. Basically you need to give it enough time for you both to calm down. You need to be at a point where you realise you made a mistake but aren't beating yourself up over it anymore. She need to be at a place where she realises that it was a mistake and won't happen again. Not easy to put a timescale on that. I think flowers are a bad idea. You can't buy her trust back and however well intended it is, that's what it'll look like.
Author JerryBK Posted November 11, 2013 Author Posted November 11, 2013 Yes, I have apologized via Text message (not sure that counts)....I can give her space, I just feel like if I leave her (potentially) waiting around for me to make any sort of attempt to get her back, then she will simply move along and never look back...A bit torn at this point.
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