MapleWish Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 i have a really good girl friend and she recently started messaging about all the problems she's been having in her relationship and with her boyfriend. she's been with him for over 2 years i believe but she says he doesn't listen to what she has to say, he's always choosing video games over her, and he watches porn even though he knows she doesnt like it. her heart is confused. she loves him but she hates the relationship. she told me she wants to be single and feels like she doesnt love him anymore. can this be fixed or is it done?
Keenly Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 The porn issue is something she is going to have to get over since 99% of guys role like that. She shouldn't view it as a threat. But the relationship couldn't potentially be salvaged... I'm actually worried that this is third party hearsay that your friend , like all of us are guilty of, exaggerate our irritations to our friends to try and get more sympathy or attention from them, and some people do it to make the other person look like the bad guy. Or it could be legit. I dont know .
Shocksock Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 He chooses Video Games over her? How old are the people involved because I know some guys who do that and they are in their 20's. I love Video Games as much as the next guy yet I don't understand how a guy could play something like Call of Duty literaly all day to the point his girlfriend complains about him never paying attention to her. I play Video Games often but if I was in a relationship I wouldn't ignore the girl or even turn down sex for a game (yes some guys do this).
Uwaae Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Video Games? Porn? I dont see any real reason why she should leave him. Is this all? Does she just seek attention from him 24/7?
crederer Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Nothing stated sounds too bad but I'd suggest you just support her in any decision she makes and try to be impartial (unless he is abusive).
Kate9292 Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 i have a really good girl friend and she recently started messaging about all the problems she's been having in her relationship and with her boyfriend. she's been with him for over 2 years i believe but she says he doesn't listen to what she has to say, he's always choosing video games over her, and he watches porn even though he knows she doesnt like it. her heart is confused. she loves him but she hates the relationship. she told me she wants to be single and feels like she doesnt love him anymore. can this be fixed or is it done? Done. Far too much disrespect, far too little concern for her from his side.
soccerrprp Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 The relationship is certainly unhealthy. 1. She doesn't like it when he watches porn, but does so defiantly? Or when she is not around? Most guys do watch porn, but it depends on the circumstances and FREQUENCY. 2. The guy chooses video games over her?! That is unacceptable. I'm a techie, but thank goodness, not a gamer. I've known and heard too many women especially who hook up with gamer types and find out just how anti-social and mindlessly addicted they are when they are their PS2 or Xbox. My current gf loves that fact that I am not a gamer. Have much more creative and productive things to do... Porn and video games are a form of escape for so many people. If the bf spends too much time "escaping", it doesn't bode well for the relationship in the LT.
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Only she knows whether she should break up with him or not & if you tell her to, if they get back together she may resent you. I'd give her tools to help her make the decision that is best for her. Has she made lists -- reasons to stay vs reasons to end it? Just let her know that you love & support her & that you will be there for her, no matter what. [if you really hate the BF, just hang out with her not them. I'm sure he'll appreciate the time to play his games]
winny Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 Choosing video games over her is too much. If she is so unhappy she should leave him. Before that she should have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him what exactly she expects out of him in the relationship and whether he is ready to put that effort or not. If he says he cannot she can leave. If he says he can, she can give him one last chance and see if he behaves any different. If he does, well and good. Otherwise she can leave this time without any further discussions or questions asked. If the guy doesn't want to have a heart to heart discussion and address the issues - then she can dump him immediately.
soccerrprp Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 If he says he can, she can give him one last chance and see if he behaves any different. If he does, well and good. WARNING: The promise to change should be immediate, not later or starting tomorrow. Immediate and the first time he returns to his old habits, LEAVE.
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