Dumped85 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Its been 5 months since my ex left me, which I believe it was over something that could have been worked on. We were only together 8 months, but I feel like we should be together still.Even though its impossible now because she has someone new. Anyway, the relationship ended over poor communication, and during the breakup I was a babbling mess. I just wish id made myself clearer to her. So here is my problem, because I feel that it was unfinished business, im finding it hard to get on with things. And life in general, my only distraction is working. I don't have the confidence to do anything else. How can this be overcome?
Mariposa10 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Well, first of all you need to realize that you're a human and there's nothing you can do to fix the past. Really understand that. We all would love it, if we could go back to the past and fix things. I wish I could do that!! But we can't. So why keep torturing ourselves over it?? You're dwelling on something impossible!! You two might cross paths in the future, live your life, be happy you're alive. How old are you?? There are tons of girls out there you can date. Some will be better than your ex and some will be worse. Why don't you start working on your confidence?? I had HUGE communication problems with my ex (the one I'm here for). You know what I did? I started going to a workshop that helps people be more effective when it comes to communicating, I'm doing this not because I want to go to the past and fix it, but I'm doing it for my future. I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES NEXT TIME. Attitude is everything. It's been 5 months since your breakup of a relationship that only lasted 8 months. Be happy you don't have to deal with all the memories people who were with a person for many years do. What are the things you're doing to heal and move on? Can you list them? 1
Nubcake Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I'm in somewhat same situation, but 2 year relationship. I know if it wasn't a long distance relationship and I saw her everyday things would be different right now. Things have gotten worse for me past week, I just stay in bed for hours now until I'm starving or completely awake. 1
lovelylilly Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 I hate it when people say this to me, but there is truth in it....just give it time. The thing that works best for me is keeping myself busy. When I'm not busy I over think things and then I fall into this deep depression and it hurts really bad. Exercising helps make me feel good about myself too. Eight months is a long time to be with someone, so it may take a while but just hang in there and know you're not alone in this!
maturityassets Posted November 11, 2013 Posted November 11, 2013 (edited) I know the feeling of regretting something. I know I could have prevented my break up from being so bad if I would have just shut my mouth about what she did or could have saved the relationship if I wasn't such a codependent wreck. But I learned so much from the break up. There is no way I could have learned these lessons if we never broke up. Now instead of feeling the need to call my new partner every night or two before bed to get my anxiety out from the day, I deal with it on my own and I only call when I desire to not when I emotionally "need" to. And this is not to say the reason say my relationship ended was just my fault. Every relationship is 50/50 and she did some unforgivable things as well. So think of it that way But if you want to get to the core of your depression you have to ask yourself what was the significance of this person to you in this life. What did she represent and why are you still depressed? Depression usually is exacerbated by a low outlook of oneself, so are you blaming just yourself for the lost? Did you feel powerless during the break up? Do you hate being alone? If so why? These are good questions to help deal not only the break up but more importantly the reason you go into such a depression after a lost. Feel better man! Don't fret, you have the ability to overcome this. Edited November 11, 2013 by maturityassets 1
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