broken up for a little over a month

[Jjk]

my ex girlfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago, we were together for 4 years, we were each others first everything, we loved each other with all of our hearts and promised to get married and be together forever, and at the time it seemed like she was really serious about it just like i was. when we first broke up because she didn't feel the same way anymore and that she wasn't in love with me anymore, she barely talked to me and seemed like she was doing perfectly fine.

 

We would talk on and off and when we talked for the first time after breaking up she told me she was a lot happier being single and she didn't want me in her life and in the middle of last month we started talking again and she said i was such a big part in her life and she wanted me in it again so we had 1 solid good week were we were talking and it felt like things were going good, we hung out a few times and we kissed and made out and she even asked me if i still wanted to marry her and i said yes and asked why and she said because not now but later she would want to marry me too but right now shes happy being single and just wants to have new experiences in college.

 

I was surprised at that because a few weeks earlier she told me she sees no future for us, and then a few days later i got too complicated and said we should stop talking for a while because it was hurting me that we were just friends and nothing more at first she didnt want that because she told me that even though she didn't want to be with me she still wanted me in her life, but a few days later she began to like the idea of no contact for a couple months, we got in an argument about something and i stopped talking to her the next night i texted her asking if we could talk and she said yes and that she missed me, we hung out the next day it didnt go so great we had lunch and she talked about how all the times i hurt her and i understand i was mean at times but i always loved her.

 

I asked if any of that would stand in the way of her giving me another chance later on and she said no it wouldn't, and we stopped talking the next afternoon, we stopped talking for about 4 days and then i texted her, and she asked why i was talking to her and she said she didnt think it was good for us to talk for a while and that since we stopped talking for a few days shes been doing really well and having a good time not having to worry about me.. we got in argument and now shes not talking to me.. ever since she broke up with me shes been going out all the time and getting drunk and meeting new people etc.. she has never done any of this before and i guess this is her way of expressing that shes finally free from my **** and trying to live like a college girl.

 

today i asked her if she was really done for good and she responded saying she was always done for good, and then i asked why did you say in a couple years we could work it out, and then she said because i just want to be alone for a couple years but i can see myself with you in the future. I just dont understand its confusing the **** out of me. Why does she want to be left alone and **** and live a single life and tell me shes done for good but at the same time tell me she can see us together in the future?

 

i know the way she acts she seems so cold to me and it was so much easier for her to move on, she kept telling me its gonna be easier for her to move on because she said she wanted the break up. I just dont see how a girl can say i was the only one for her and that she wanted to be with me forever and then just completely move on like this and lose all feelings for me. i dont see how she can suddenly act so fine and be having such a great time all the time while im here just hurting.

 

anyway, is there any hope for me to be with her? she keeps telling me to move on but its so hard for me, all i think about is this girl and how badly i want us to be like how we used to be, the only good times that are in my memory are the memories of when we were together. even though she doesnt feel the same way i am still so in love with her

Edited November 10, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Jjk]

Update: she finally responded to me and after of her constantly telling me she doesnt want to talk to me i asked if she hated me she just said "yep pretty much"

[xpaperxcutx]

You placed her on a pedestal and now she thinks you're beneath her.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but you need tough love. Go strict NC, delete her number, delete her from FB, get rid of anything that even reminds you of her. I know it's going to be hard, but seek out support from your family and from your closest friends.

 

Be sad, and cry if you have to. I advise you to let every little emotion you have for her out until you cannot cry one more tear.

 

Then after you hit rock bottom, climb back up on and stand on your own two feet.

 

First and foremost, built yourself a pedestal in your mind. Put yourself on that pedestal and think about yourself as a king of your world and why you are the most important person in your life. That's right, she's nothing, and you are everything.

 

Then you get out a piece of paper and write down your goals for the next 3 months. Join the gym, take up a hobby, etc. Just find something you can focus your mind into 100%.

 

I suggest you read the Secret and the Power. Look up Laws of Attractions and study the concept of positive thinking.

 

Trust me, you need to start caring about yourself and healing for yourself. Nothing else matters at this point except getting back your independence and your sanity.

[Jjk]

You placed her on a pedestal and now she thinks you're beneath her.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but you need tough love. Go strict NC, delete her number, delete her from FB, get rid of anything that even reminds you of her. I know it's going to be hard, but seek out support from your family and from your closest friends.

 

Be sad, and cry if you have to. I advise you to let every little emotion you have for her out until you cannot cry one more tear.

 

Then after you hit rock bottom, climb back up on and stand on your own two feet.

 

First and foremost, built yourself a pedestal in your mind. Put yourself on that pedestal and think about yourself as a king of your world and why you are the most important person in your life. That's right, she's nothing, and you are everything.

 

Then you get out a piece of paper and write down your goals for the next 3 months. Join the gym, take up a hobby, etc. Just find something you can focus your mind into 100%.

 

I suggest you read the Secret and the Power. Look up Laws of Attractions and study the concept of positive thinking.

 

Trust me, you need to start caring about yourself and healing for yourself. Nothing else matters at this point except getting back your independence and your sanity.

 

Appreciate everything you said. Its only been a little over a month but yeah throught out all of it been and seeking help from close friends and family except nothing they say helps me they tell me the same thing "theres no point your young shes stupid as **** and there are plently of other girls" and yeah ive been crying and pouring my heart out to my her and my friends everytime i think im ok i start to realize im that im not. as of now i feel like i have hit rock bottom. Shes living her fun new life and im here not doing **** but smoking weed because right now not being sober is the only way i can deal with this. She literally meant everything to me she was my everything we did everything together and i honestly thought we were going to get married later on so now all i can think about is what could have been. I just keep thinking theres hope but deep down i know that there is none. She tells me that she just wants a few years away from me but we all know that shes going to forget about me and nothing will happen between us even in a few years but its that hope that keeps me going

 

I also got rid of all the things she got me, we even won cutest couple in high school and i ripped that picture right out of the year book and tossed it out. Its so hard for me to not contact her because i know once i do shes not gonna care and she wont ever be the one to contact me first. I feel like if i stop talking to her now then later there will no chance at all for me to get her to be mine again

[Jjk]

You placed her on a pedestal and now she thinks you're beneath her.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but you need tough love. Go strict NC, delete her number, delete her from FB, get rid of anything that even reminds you of her. I know it's going to be hard, but seek out support from your family and from your closest friends.

 

Be sad, and cry if you have to. I advise you to let every little emotion you have for her out until you cannot cry one more tear.

 

Then after you hit rock bottom, climb back up on and stand on your own two feet.

 

First and foremost, built yourself a pedestal in your mind. Put yourself on that pedestal and think about yourself as a king of your world and why you are the most important person in your life. That's right, she's nothing, and you are everything.

 

Then you get out a piece of paper and write down your goals for the next 3 months. Join the gym, take up a hobby, etc. Just find something you can focus your mind into 100%.

 

I suggest you read the Secret and the Power. Look up Laws of Attractions and study the concept of positive thinking.

 

Trust me, you need to start caring about yourself and healing for yourself. Nothing else matters at this point except getting back your independence and your sanity.

 

Just to add to what i said before but i dont know how to get over her when literally everything i see reminds me of her and how we used to be and everything makes me think of the past and how i was happy at that point just because she was mine