That-Texas-Girl Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 First post here, so cut me some slack . And I apologize in advance for the mini-novel. I've been using Tinder off and on for about a month or so now - just moved to a new city for college (22, f). So far I've talked to quite a few guys, had one horribly awkward first date as well as one perfectly successful hookup/one-night-stand. I stopped using it for a few weeks as it was taking up a lot of time and I was busy with school, but I just got back on about a week ago, and have since been talking with two guys in particular. And thus have two confusing situations developing. GUY #1: messaged me first, we talked a little bit, lightly flirted, and he set up a date. Picked me up Friday night, greeted me with a hug, opened the door of his truck (!!! ), and we went to dinner. He was a perfect gentleman, confident, smooth (not player-smooth though), the whole bit. During dinner he dropped the first red flag: mentioned that his dad knew about the date. Now I'm all for getting to know the parents later on down the road...but he told his dad that he was going on a first date?!?! (Did mention that he didn't tell how we met) Then, red flag #2: mentioned that he was going to his cousins wedding the next day. And would I like to go with him? *cue freak out* I stumbled through some excuse as to why I couldn't, and the date progressed. We went to a movie (I know, I know...but I like it.) held hands etc, he said I smelled good, the whole bit. I enjoyed the whole experience. On the way home he asked again about the wedding, and joked about me meeting his family and all. I was more clear in declining this time, and the conversation moved on. Kissed me goodnight (okay okay, maybe a few times ) and I went inside. NEXT MORNING: he texts and asks if I want to go get lunch with him before he goes to the wedding. Now I'm not very experienced in the dating world, but isn't that a little much? I said I had already had lunch (I hadn't) and that was it. We've texted some since then, and I'm anticipating that he's going to go for a second date at some point. GUY #2: also messaged me first, we soon moved to texting, and we have been texting and snapchatting almost non stop for 6 days now. Needless to say, we majorly hit it off. I'm totally ready to meet him (heck, I was ready after the second day) but he hasn't taken any steps in that direction. He mentioned once that he was going to ask if I'd like to get a drink sometime, but he never actually asked or went forward with it. He has said several times that he likes talking to me, and he even texts/snapchats me when he's out with his friends (in my experience, a definite sign of interest). I've dropped numerous hints that I'm interested, and he doesn't seem to be picking up on them. Where do I go from here? Do I suggest meeting up? Or just keep hinting? Also, I should clarify my intentions: I don't approach tinder with the hopes of finding my soulmate. More just looking for something casual, fun, someone to kiss when I'm feeling feisty, haha. And if I happen to meet someone with more, then great. I am not interested in Guy #1 like he seems to be interested in me. Not wanting to meet the family, etc. I'm more interested in couch-cuddling, movie and football watching, minimal talking, you get the point. Guy #2, has me interested to the point of being open to a real dating situation, not just a hookup, friends with benefits deal. Question: how to communicate all this to each of them.
Author That-Texas-Girl Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 Clarification: how do I communicate to guy #1 that I'm not looking for anything serious, like i seem to be picking up from him. And am I correct in how I'm reading him? I don't want to continue showing interest and have him think that I'm on the same page with this becoming more than a casual thing. And yes, it's entirely possible that I'm overthinking all this. It's been known to happen before
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