KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 So I was out having drinks with my friend last night and it's always a topic of conversation between us that NO GUYS ever approach us. Never. We don't understand what the problem is. So as the night went on a couple of guys did come over, and started talking to us but we learned they were 24. (Friend and I are 29, but we do both look much younger than our age. We are usually pegged for 22.) Even the guys we were talking to (who were actually from out of NY state) didn't believe us when we said no one ever approaches us. I'm not sure if it's a NYC thing or what. So one of the guys and I actually were talking for a while and he gave me his number and said that if I ever wanted to grab drinks or dinner, I should message him. There is a HUGE part of me that wouldn't ever reach out due to his age. The fact that I remember being that age and not wanting to really settle, not really knowing myself... And then there's a part of me that actually was agreeing with some of the logic my friend was saying. How younger guys are actually looking for something real, meanwhile the older 20's and 30's guys who are single, have something wrong with them or are just the playboys... because if you look around, people are getting engaged mid-20's, married by late 20s. I myself am not ready to settle or be married, but what do you guys think about dating younger? I can understand an older guy dating a younger woman, but I feel like the older woman/younger man still has a stigma attached to it.
carhill Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I personally haven't seen such a 'stigma' attached for sometime. In fact, even in a more 'traditional' society, one of my LTR's was with a woman seven years older than myself. She was already a grandmother and I was single and childless. Anything is possible, IMO. You might find further insight in this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/288549-consolidated-discussion-older-younger-woman-man-age-gap-dating
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 It depends what you want. If you are not looking to get married and settle down, I don't see why not. I have the same problem, as in I am only approached by 5+ years younger guys when out. I just embrace it That said, they are much less likely to commit to something serious. 1
Author KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 I mean I would like to settle one day, but just not one day too soon. And that's what I'm thinking. Although I don't want to settle just yet, I still don't want to waste my time in dead end things. I'd rather date someone over a longer period of time and have it lead to something serious down the line, rather than date someone just to pass time by.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I mean I would like to settle one day, but just not one day too soon. And that's what I'm thinking. Although I don't want to settle just yet, I still don't want to waste my time in dead end things. I'd rather date someone over a longer period of time and have it lead to something serious down the line, rather than date someone just to pass time by. Yep, totally get this - I am the same. That's why I hesitate to take them seriously and am still looking for someone close to my age.
gaius Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Nothing really lasts forever anymore so in a way every relationship is a dead end, if you want to think of it like that. You would be doing yourself a great disservice by disqualifying him from being a part of your life for a while though based on his age. Just cause he's young doesn't mean it's impossible he takes relationships seriously.
d0nnivain Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher made it more socially acceptable. My husband is 5 years younger than me. My mom was 5 years older than my dad. As long as you are both in the same place in life (over 21 & out fo school mostly), I don't think it's a huge issue.
Author KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher made it more socially acceptable. My husband is 5 years younger than me. My mom was 5 years older than my dad. As long as you are both in the same place in life (over 21 & out fo school mostly), I don't think it's a huge issue. Yeah, but look what Ashton then did to Demi. But I get what you're saying.
BlametheIrish Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I'm 29 as well and I dont think I look my age either (see avatar). I personally make it a point to not date younger as the maturity levels never match up. But if youre just looking for fun tgen have at it girl!
Socalidude20 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I'm 20 too much younger and it becomes illegal.
Author KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 I'm not talking about being a pedophile. I'm talking about m/24-f/29 scenario. I feel like if I was 34, and guy was 29 that wouldn't bother me as much. I feel like younger 20's are just not "there" yet. If anyone gets what I mean.
windybunny Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I think its because of the way society portrays it to be, but I am pretty sure there are guys who wants "real women" that are more experienced and mature
heartshaped Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I don't know. Sometimes I feel like people over exaggerate the link between youth and immaturity. My sister is your age, I'm closer to the guy's age, and I have to tell you between the two of us I have always been the more mature, responsible, and sensible one.
USMCHokie Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 My fiancé is 18 years older than me...it can happen... 1
melodymatters Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 ... And my husband is 18 yrs younger than me, when I met him he was early 20's and more than ready to settle down. Been married two years now and it is the BEST RELATIONSHIP EVER ! 4
paigej91 Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Honestly, it's really cliche, but if you truly like the guy enough and want to give it a shot, age doesn't matter. And sure, maybe there is a slight stigma from it- but if you find out you really love this guy why bother giving in to what society dictates as "normal"? Now, to end my overly cliche opinion, I also wanted to mention that I agree with your opinions on guys in their mid-20s versus men in their late 20s. However, I wouldn't say that all men in their late 20s have issues that are bad enough to prevent them from making a good boyfriend. And their are still a plethora of men in their mid-20s still acting like college bros
Author KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 Honestly, it's really cliche, but if you truly like the guy enough and want to give it a shot, age doesn't matter. And sure, maybe there is a slight stigma from it- but if you find out you really love this guy why bother giving in to what society dictates as "normal"? Now, to end my overly cliche opinion, I also wanted to mention that I agree with your opinions on guys in their mid-20s versus men in their late 20s. However, I wouldn't say that all men in their late 20s have issues that are bad enough to prevent them from making a good boyfriend. And their are still a plethora of men in their mid-20s still acting like college bros This is true. Everyone's telling me to just go on a date with him and see what happens. I guess what can it hurt right? lol
Author KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 ... And my husband is 18 yrs younger than me, when I met him he was early 20's and more than ready to settle down. Been married two years now and it is the BEST RELATIONSHIP EVER ! How did you get past the mentality of being 18 years older? I feel like I would feel like a mother to a guy if I was that much older. I thought 5 years older was bad! Did you have issues regarding being in two different life places? Issues with maturity or lack there of?
MrCastle Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I prefer older. I don't understand why any woman, young or old would prefer a significantly older man, but I'm 25 so I guess I'll feel differently in my 40s The majority of my dates have been older by a few years. Young girls are not for me.
USMCHokie Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 How did you get past the mentality of being 18 years older? I feel like I would feel like a mother to a guy if I was that much older. I thought 5 years older was bad! Did you have issues regarding being in two different life places? Issues with maturity or lack there of? I will try to answer this from the perspective of the younger guy. The key for me is that my girl can act and want to act like she's my age, yet she can play the part of maturity. This goes the same for the guy. Can he still act like a silly boy in his 20's but turn on the maturity when it counts? The key to the age difference working is that both individuals can be both mature and "immature" at the right time. Do you feel comfortable acting much younger than you are and being fun, silly, and "immature"...? If yes, then there's a chance it can work. If not, then you will probably have a tough time dating younger. As for him, you have to determine whether he can turn on mature mode when it matters. Does he make smart decisions with his education, career, finances, etc.? Does he talk about his future plans? He can be in his 20's and still party it up on the weekend; but come Monday morning he's got his game face back on to tackle life. If you have those matronly feelings, then I would speculate that you are pretty established in your demeanor and personality at your age. 1
FitChick Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 In the past twenty years or so, every man I have dated -- with one exception -- has been younger. I prefer five to nine years younger though dated someone sixteen years younger. It really depends on the guy. It's hard to find men my age who look as good as I do! 1
Author KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 In the past twenty years or so, every man I have dated -- with one exception -- has been younger. I prefer five to nine years younger though dated someone sixteen years younger. It really depends on the guy. It's hard to find men my age who look as good as I do! Wow that's really interesting! What has your experiences been with guys 5 years younger? As that's the age diff between myself and this guy I will probably go on a date with.
RedRobin Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 I prefer men +/- 5 years from me, but have been almost exclusively hit on by much younger men for relationships. The men my age and older around here seem to be the ones looking for fun and limited or no commitment... pair that with my freakishly high fitness level, energy, and off the wall hobbies... I dunno. Yesterday I did my second NY High Peak, then turned around and ran a 15K today. Not even sore. The guy I'm currently seeing is 5 years younger... and he does seem to be commitment minded. As opposed to Mr. Sexy Talk and Mr. Ryan Gosling look alike who tried really damned hard to make/convince me to be a FWB/FB... and they are the same age as me!! 1
FitChick Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Wow that's really interesting! What has your experiences been with guys 5 years younger? As that's the age diff between myself and this guy I will probably go on a date with. Not relevant because I am much older than you are. As we age, the 'age gap' becomes less of a gap, even large ones. You don't have to marry these younger guys. At the very least it will boost your ego and you can have some fun and practice new tricks in bed to use on the next guy. On a side note: Hokie I thought you'd been killed in Afghanistan. You got engaged to that 'long distance woman' you dated a while back? Good for you! Can you please point me to the thread where you brought everyone at LS up to speed (if you did)? Thanks!
Author KatZee Posted November 10, 2013 Author Posted November 10, 2013 Not relevant because I am much older than you are. As we age, the 'age gap' becomes less of a gap, even large ones. You don't have to marry these younger guys. At the very least it will boost your ego and you can have some fun and practice new tricks in bed to use on the next guy. On a side note: Hokie I thought you'd been killed in Afghanistan. You got engaged to that 'long distance woman' you dated a while back? Good for you! Can you please point me to the thread where you brought everyone at LS up to speed (if you did)? Thanks! Yeah, I think that's why I'm having an issue with it. Because even though 5 years isn't really relevant. It's pretty relevant for where he's at being 24 and me being almost 30. Also, I think Hokie has the wrong person. I've never been to Afghanistan, I'm also a woman myself and straight so I wouldn't be engaged to any woman!
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