NC_unbearable Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Things are getting better after my fiance left me a while ago. I am with my kid this weekend and we are just having a blast. I've been getting help going down the moving on path, and its been amazing save the moments where the pain comes back. For one, I've always been a homebody, and spent most of all my days playing video games. I've been out a lot more lately, at a local cafe and at the beach. Every day I've been waking up pretty heart broken, but by the end of the day I am able to turn that around and honestly feel happy. One day in particular, I even read one of my heart break experiences (poetic writing) at open mic night near where I live! It was such a release. This morning, after I spent all night meditating and releasing feelings, I don't feel so heart broken. I am not holding onto hope, even though the future seems to be very hopeful, I just think hope is a source of pain. We still talk, but that's because we have a kid. I try to keep it just business, and nothing else. A few new aspects of my life have emerged in these contacts, like me giving up video games (they make me soooo depressed, always really have). But other than that, its just a few things regarding my daughter. It's still a struggle to get over her though, because I've been hearing through the vine she is really proud of the changes I have made in my life, and has recently decided she wants to spend Thanksgiving with my daughter and I. It's really hard to let that ray of hope free, but It is the right thing to do in my heart. We are still friends on facebook, and I find her liking a lot of the things I post, which also makes it tough, some of which are songs I've recorded. I try not to look at how she spends her days, sometimes I do, but for the most part I have been just sticking in the moment. No contact is getting easier, the pain is subsiding, and when she is not on my mind I can not tell you how happy I get. I've been meeting a lot of people, primarily women (I can approach women now!), and well yea. I just wanted to blurg this all out there. Don't think about moving on as being hard everyone, I think just living in the moment, and not bottling up feelings is the way to go. I started a journal for the first time, and it seems to be being a great source of release. Keep calm and chive on. 2
strive Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Congrats. May your path to healing be smooth and fast. Sigh. I just wish my ex was even half as decent a dad as you. Too few decent dads in the world. 2
30andsad Posted November 10, 2013 Posted November 10, 2013 Sounds like things are definitely improving for you which is great to hear! I hope my progress will pick up a bit more now. My ex came yesterday with the uhaul to move out of the house. I wasn't here but the changes in things have been tough and a final solid reminder that she has left. She moved into a small place downtown. I've been really down this weekend, but at least this is behind me now and maybe I can start really healing.
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