Just broke up, need ........

[jstearne]

Forgive me this is long. I met a women a few months ago and we hit it off really well………so well in fact that we got pregnant. We both were actually happy as we both wanted kids some day. She got confirmation from the doctor and we told our parents. We got into an official relationship. The following week she had a miscarriage………….she was devastated and I supported her.

 

We continued on with the relationship and things were going really well but she became insanely stressed with her job. To top it off her sister is also going through a miscarriage so she’s had to watch after her kids.

 

This past week she started acting distant. After a long night of thinking she called me and told me we needed to call it quits. She thinks she needs to quit her job and get back in school. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. I tried to change her mind but she seemed pretty set on it. I told her I didn’t want to be with anyone else and she said she didn’t want to be with anyone else either. I told her I loved her (ugh probably a mistake) and she thanked me but said she didn’t know how someone could love someone soo early in the relationship. I accepted her decision and was pretty mature about it. She seemed to be getting choked up towards the end of the conversation and said she needed some time to think about things.

 

Afterwards I messaged her to take all the time alone she needed and that I just wanted her to be happy. She thanked me and said it meant the world to her that I was soo understanding.

The next day she cancelled our relationship on Facebook. She seemed pretty eager to do it. I told her I was thinking of her and if she wanted to talk more to let her know. I haven’t heard from her.

 

I’m just not sure how to handle this. On the one hand I just got dumped but this women has been through an insane amount of stress lately…….and I know she really really likes me. My plan was to wait a few weeks and then call her to see how things are going. If she ignores me then I’ll just move on……..if she responds then I would take things very very slow.

Is this the right thing to do? Should I just let her come to me? Should I just move on? Should I buy her flowers? Should I text instead? Is two weeks enough?

 

Its just crazy...........3-4 weeks ago I thought I was going to have a kid with this women and just last week she wanted me to have dinner with her parents. Now I think I may never see her again. Head is spinning.......

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated………thanks.

Edited November 10, 2013 by jstearne

[xUnknown]

Forgive me this is long. I met a women a few months ago and we hit it off really well………so well in fact that we got pregnant. We both were actually happy as we both wanted kids some day. She got confirmation from the doctor and we told our parents. We got into an official relationship. The following week she had a miscarriage………….she was devastated and I supported her.

 

We continued on with the relationship and things were going really well but she became insanely stressed with her job. To top it off her sister is also going through a miscarriage so she’s had to watch after her kids.

 

This past week she started acting distant. After a long night of thinking she called me and told me we needed to call it quits. She thinks she needs to quit her job and get back in school. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. I tried to change her mind but she seemed pretty set on it. I told her I didn’t want to be with anyone else and she said she didn’t want to be with anyone else either. I told her I loved her (ugh probably a mistake) and she thanked me but said she didn’t know how someone could love someone soo early in the relationship. I accepted her decision and was pretty mature about it. She seemed to be getting choked up towards the end of the conversation and said she needed some time to think about things.

 

Afterwards I messaged her to take all the time alone she needed and that I just wanted her to be happy. She thanked me and said it meant the world to her that I was soo understanding.

The next day she cancelled our relationship on Facebook. She seemed pretty eager to do it. I told her I was thinking of her and if she wanted to talk more to let her know. I haven’t heard from her.

 

I’m just not sure how to handle this. On the one hand I just got dumped but this women has been through an insane amount of stress lately…….and I know she really really likes me. My plan was to wait a few weeks and then call her to see how things are going. If she ignores me then I’ll just move on……..if she responds then I would take things very very slow.

Is this the right thing to do? Should I just let her come to me? Should I just move on? Should I buy her flowers? Should I text instead? Is two weeks enough?

 

Its just crazy...........3-4 weeks ago I thought I was going to have a kid with this women and just last week she wanted me to have dinner with her parents. Now I think I may never see her again. Head is spinning.......

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated………thanks.

 

 

Start to move on. Let her come to you. If/when she wants to be with you, she'll come back. Don't do the flowers. Don't text. Don't write a letter....these things always push them further away. Good luck man. We're all hurting here one way or another. We're here for ya.

[jstearne]

Start to move on. Let her come to you. If/when she wants to be with you, she'll come back. Don't do the flowers. Don't text. Don't write a letter....these things always push them further away. Good luck man. We're all hurting here one way or another. We're here for ya.

 

Thanks. Yeah I figured that was the best thing to do. It's just hard to know what to do since she's been through soo much lately.

[headinthecloud]

You have been through a lot in a very short time. Getting pregnant and then going through a miscarriage is a major hormonal change for a woman. Let alone the mental anguish of looking forward to having a baby to no longer having that future.

 

She is quite clear that she doesn't feel the same way but I'm sure she cares a great deal about you. I would go NC and move on. You deserve someone who is committed to building a future together.

 

...and yes it is possible to fall in love with someone in a short period of time. It's usually infatuation not love, but it's hard to tell the difference at the time. True love is developed over years when you know everything about them.

[jstearne]

You have been through a lot in a very short time. Getting pregnant and then going through a miscarriage is a major hormonal change for a woman. Let alone the mental anguish of looking forward to having a baby to no longer having that future.

 

She is quite clear that she doesn't feel the same way but I'm sure she cares a great deal about you. I would go NC and move on. You deserve someone who is committed to building a future together.

 

...and yes it is possible to fall in love with someone in a short period of time. It's usually infatuation not love, but it's hard to tell the difference at the time. True love is developed over years when you know everything about them.

 

Yeah, my sister has been through two miscarriages and she thinks maybe she just wants all this behind her. I think I need to move on. Is one final message for closure a bad idea? Just to let her know I'm done and not chasing or waiting for her, wishing her the best, ext, ext?

[jstearne]

She just deleted all our photos and all history of me off her Facebook. I just need to move on.

 

I just don't get it. We had such a great time together and I was soo supportive of her. She even remarked that I couldn't have handled things with the pregnancy any better, that things were going really well between us, and that she was on her way to falling in love with me. That our dates were absolutely amazing and how happy she was ext, ext. Now she just wants to act like we never met. We never had a single fight or bad moment between us. Even the breakup conversation went well by breakup standards.

 

Part of me really wants to unfriend her, block her, and delete her number. Is this a good idea or would this come off as petty and immature?

Edited November 11, 2013 by jstearne

[Fufu]

She just deleted all our photos and all history of me off her Facebook. I just need to move on.

 

I just don't get it. We had such a great time together and I was soo supportive of her. She even remarked that I couldn't have handled things with the pregnancy any better, that things were going really well between us, and that she was on her way to falling in love with me. That our dates were absolutely amazing and how happy she was ext, ext. Now she just wants to act like we never met. We never had a single fight or bad moment between us. Even the breakup conversation went well by breakup standards.

 

Part of me really wants to unfriend her, block her, and delete her number. Is this a good idea or would this come off as petty and immature?

 

 

She has already deleted the photos, so it doesn't makes you any immature by blocking her in facebook.

 

Focus on moving on, that's your priority.

[jstearne]

She has already deleted the photos, so it doesn't makes you any immature by blocking her in facebook.

 

Focus on moving on, that's your priority.

 

That's a good point. I have to where her stuff doesn't pop up in my newsfeed. If I can't resist looking at her page I'll block her.

[OpheliaSong]

I am really sorry that this happened, and also about your miscarriage.