NiCoLe20 Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 k guys i read this in this months cosmo ...so here it is for my ladies! THE MORE SERIOUS A RELATIONSHIP GETS, THE LESS A MAN WILL REASSURE YOU- when you and ur sweetie were in the early stages of romance, he might have randomly shown up at ur door w/ flowers or called to check in while he was out w/ the boys. Nowadays, u have to nudge him to puck up chocolates for your b-day. what gives? well for one, back the, mr. smooth was trying to woo you. during courship, a man will pull out all the stops to win you over. at the same time, he'll gauge your reactions to these overtures for affirmation that the feelings are mutual. once he's certain your smitten, he doesntneed to conduct these little love tests anymore(boohoo) take it from angela, 30, whose boyfriend has recently retired his prince charming routine. ''when we first started dating, franco showed up at my office w/ lillies, blindfolded me, and whisked me off to a bed and breakfast for the weekend. four years later, i still get the bouqet but not the elaborate production. it makes me wonder if his feelings arent as strong.'' deep breaths, angela. franco's devotion hasnt dwindled. when a man is confident his relationship is solid, he enters a ''comfort zone'' (haha) he'll stop doing those extras b/c he doesnt need them and assumes you dont either. unfortunately he leaves you feeling insecure. relax. u can get the reassurance you need if u learn to look for it in other ways. men are more likely to rely on simple day to day actions rather than sweeping romantic gestures to say i love you. but if ur not looking for these subtle signs, theyre easy to miss. skipping a nite out w/ friends to go to ur great aunts 95th bday party might not seem as romantic as a pair of diamond earrings, but essentially the message is identical: he wants to make u happy. same goes for filling your car with gas, gluing the broken heel back onto ur favorite shoes...u get the picture. GUYS ALWAYS WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU...EVEN IN THE MIDST OF A FIGHT-when holly and her fiance charlie, got into a a big time blowup over who forgot to pay the wedding caterer, the argument suddenly changed midstream. one minute charlie is screaming at me, then i bend down to puck up my checkbook, he gets a glimpse of my cleavage, and bam-he's all over me. i lost it! it felt like some sneaky ploy to change the subject. no doubt youve experience similiar behavior from your beau. we hear you, it can be infuriating. but before you let his amorous 180 make your head sping, take heed: the reason guys are always up for action-even if ur not on speaking terms, is b/c sex and relationship satisfaction are not the same thing for them. most men are master at compartmentalizing their feelings. see, for women, emotions run on a continuum. we have a sucky day at work or a misunderstanding with a friend and the residue from the icky experience affects how we feel for the rest of the day. the opposite holds true for men. a man can tune out everything else and focus solely on the physical exitement and release of sex. keep this in mind the next time ur guys out of nowhere advance threaten to send you over the edge. the horn dog genuiely cant help the fact that he's physically turned on by you in that heated moment. but, hey, if u seriously need him to back off ans listen to you, be up front. tellhim that what would turn you on more than anything is resolving the issue at hand. MEN LOVE THE LITTLE THINGS YOU DO, THEY JUST WONT ADMIT IT- you love it when ur guy goes out of his way for you. heres the flip side: he feels equally adored-and appreciative-when you go the extra mile for him. he just wont ever let on. its not that he doesnt take note of what you do for him, he does. but gushing doesnt come naturally to men. think about it: a guy would never say to his boys: ''dude, it was really thoughtful of you to buy me a beer last night.'' they just dont go there. quin, the finace of jill, is no exception. when he began traveling for work, jill started tucking cars into his suitcase. after a few weeks, quinn hadnt acknowledged the gesture, so i stopped doing it, she says. then on his next trip, he called from the airport and was like 'uh, did you forget something?' and reluctantly admitted he'd been looking forward to another note. it just never occured to him to tell me how much he had liked them all along. like quinn, ur guy probably thinks its a given that he's grateful. his man logic: ''who doesnt enjoy having nice things done for them?'' so stop waiting for a reaction, let alone a thank-you, and keep doing those little things that make you both feel so good. HE MAY ACT LIKE A TOUGH GUY BUT SECRETLY WANT TO BE BABIED- selma, loves that her b/f is a real guys guy. he has this sexy russel crowe thing going on-a kind of dont mess w/ me masculinity that im totally attracted to. so imagin selma's surprise when she witnessed him taked down by...the common cold. he had the sniffles and desperately wanted me to tuck him into bed, bring him soup, and check on him every 2 seconds, id never seen that side of him before. like selma, we often assume that our resident badass doesnt need coddling. truth is, the fact that ur man can lift heavy objects doesnt erase the fact that he still wants to be fussed over on occasion. all guys are basically kids at heard. deep down, they want to be taken care of, and who can blame them? one some level, dont we all? but of course, you want to induldge his sensitive side w/o going into mommy mode. theres nothing sexy or fun about that. choose little gestures that pamper him but dont compromise yourself. crack open a beer for him when u can tellhes had a crappy day. help him choose the right tie to wear to a job interview. buy him a book of stamps at the post office so he can mail his rent check on time. so -called mothering him doesnt mean ur training him to become dependent on u for everything. help him out in little ways that allow him to take better care of himself. thats what hell really appreciate. HE WONT WARN YOU IF THE RELATIONSHIP IS ON THE ROCKS-when her b/f of 5 years called of their engagement 3 weeks before their wedding, maryanne, got the shock of her life. one minute i was putting the finishing touches on my dream day, and the next, i was cryingmy eyes out in the fetal position. honestly, i still dont completely understand why bill had such a drastic change of heart. i guess he was having doubts all along, but i sure as hell didnt see it coming. and neither did bill. thats b/c guys dont spend a ton of man hours pondering the state of ur union or analyzing its ups and downs. men tend to let the little things that irritate them build and build and build w/o saying a word, b/c they dont want to deal with the whole relationship drama. then suddeny, their frustration snowball and they go into crisis mode, ready to end things. as a result, its only truly the womans responsibilty to take the pulse of the relationship. that doesntmean neurotically cornering ur guy for a sit down chat every time u get the slightest twinge things may be heading south. but if u sense ur mans acting really removed, check in. say something like, ''sweetie, i love spendiing time w/ you but lately u seem preoccupied. what would make u happier?'' if u keep things light and upbeat hes more liekly to be receptive. if ur still stumped weeks later, have the full on powwow. wait until ur somewhere where eye contact can be kept to a minimum so he feels less threatened. think walking side by side instead of sitting across formeach other at dinner. then ask him straight out where u stand. u deserve answers, after all. damn my hands hurt....hopefully this advice helps!
Adunaphel Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 I found this article really interesting, thanks for posting it!
alphamale Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 Dear Nicole20: These 5 apply equally to women also.
Author NiCoLe20 Posted December 17, 2004 Author Posted December 17, 2004 thats true but it was in a ladies magazine
kit4kat Posted December 17, 2004 Posted December 17, 2004 Very interesting-- I always find it helpful to get a little insight to the minds of men!
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